Second Life Ruined my Marriage!!..

Haggisman said:
Why?
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Because you have to be an absolute fool to interrupt a real life relationship for someone you have met online if you havn't met them first.

People are typically more confident and fun on MSN if in reality they are shy and withdrawn.

If you meet them and hit it off, then good for you. Otherwise... oh dear.
 
Simian said:
At about 1:20ish I needed a pee so I got up, and walking past the study she was still typing away but the screen behind appeared blank.. then a toned/tanned back-side came into view.. pumping up and down.. the picture revealed itself with her underneath and him on top pumping away laying on a beach whilst they were both typing!!... She went to bed about 1:45ish and I dunno what went on in her room after that!, but the cats came running out of there quite frightened!!..
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Sorry but...LMFAO.
 
Ok fair enough. Was just wondering if you were stuck in thinking of the stigma of online dating or actually had a valid reason =P

I've noticed that you can often tell more about people in say, a game, than you can over MSN. Their personality usually shows through more, in the way they play, or when they are stressed/concentrating on something else, whereas on MSN, its quite easy to pretend to be a certain way.

I did actually meet my current GF in WoW, although we didn't start any kind of relationship until I met her, along with a few other guildmates at a LAN.

IMO it depends a lot on your attitude, and what you are looking for when you join a game/chatroom or whatever. If you are playing because you want to play, and meet someone, and a relationship forms, fair enough. It lets you build a relationship based on shared interests, just like meeting someone at a gym, or some kind of club, e.g. cycling, cookery, whatever. Its when you start playing purely with the aim to meet someone, pushing aside other forms of social interaction that it becomes a problem.

All just my opinion of course =P
 
If it was just an online thing ? it was a yank so i mean hes halfway round the world who cares.
I know this might sound mean but *shrugs* maybe you needed to try talking to her more or showing some more loving so she wouldnt resort to second life ?
 
Haggisman said:
I did actually meet my current GF in WoW, although we didn't start any kind of relationship until I met her, along with a few other guildmates at a LAN.
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I have absolutely no problem with that. I know people from OCUK who have chatted on msn or on a game and hit it off when they met. I have done so too.

But someone you havn't met interfering with a broken marriage? Jeez.
 
Adsta said:
If it was just an online thing ? it was a yank so i mean hes halfway round the world who cares.
I know this might sound mean but *shrugs* maybe you needed to try talking to her more or showing some more loving so she wouldnt resort to second life ?
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I have to agree.
 
KNiVES said:
What is there not to get? You need to read it yourself mate. And my post. Flirting and stuff like that in a game means absolutely nothing. I can tell you've never played on MMOs ever. I once again reiterate the real problem is the vast vacuums of time spent on the computer.
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No, you REALLY need to read the OP.

And yes I have played many MMO's and never had simulated sex in any of them.
 
KNiVES said:
What is there not to get? You need to read it yourself mate. And my post. Flirting and stuff like that in a game means absolutely nothing. I can tell you've never played on MMOs ever. I once again reiterate the real problem is the vast vacuums of time spent on the computer.
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Of course it means something. You don't just flirt for hours and have sex with someone in a game for no reason or for a laugh. In a social and psychological context it's not massively different from doing the same in real life assuming it was serious.

Btw if she seems to like tall dark skinned men, maybe the OP should be considering a negroplasty :D
 
By all means keep assuming cybersex is the real problem here and not time spent on Second Life....

Why am I the only one to bring up the issue of MMO addiction here? I would have thought with all the other self-claimed MMO players here, it would be mentioned more, but apparently not.
 
Addiction to a MMO comes from something to do with the game, usually the community, or the raiding, whatever...

She is spending hours talking and doing stuff with this guy virtually, so she is on the game to be with this guy.

I know what your saying but I don't think that applies here.
 
Of course playing Second Life for that amount of time is a problem, but you have to ask why she is playing it so much, and judging by the information in the OP, the reason is because of this guy. Whatever is causing her addiction is the real problem, not simply the fact that she is addicted to the game. They are causally related.

You said it means nothing, but it clearly does, as it is potentially the cause of the addiction. Obviously she feels some kind of connection and attraction to this guy.
 
Right, here we go.

One: She has MMO addiction and if you don't cure that then there is no chance in hell that you can kick-start the marriage. Fact. I really don't advise sudden removal of access to the MMO via the methods suggested here as that really won't help. Gradual, phased removal is OK.

Two: I would not read to much into her having had an "affair" with this chap as she has needs that are probably not being satisfied due to your separation. Also she has an addiction so is not exactly acting rationally.

Three: Something has been going wrong with your marriage before this even happened and that is what will (or has) caused the ultimate failure of your marriage. What have you been arguing about? Is there an underlying cause? Is it money or sex? Sex and money are the most common reasons for marital breakdown.

You need to stop posting on this forum for advice about your marriage, sit down with her and under any means possible get the pair of you to Relate (even if it is separately at first) and if that doesn't work then it is all over and you (or her) will need to move out. You cannot live under the same roof if your marriage is over.

OCUK really isn't the best place to air your problems. Hope it all goes well.
 
Why does anyone even play Second Life, what a rubbish 'game'. Oh, and dismantle her. And then rebuild her as Cameron Diaz.
 
I also know someone who has been consumed by second life and has a 'GF' that lives thousands of miles away on there that he keeps sayin he loves :confused:. Spends all day everyday on it, very sad really.

The novelty for her will likey sooner or later wear off, but tell her to get a grip!
 
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