Shy Wee

I usually find it too difficult to wee at urinals, especially troughs. If I'm far enough away from another person so that they can't hear me weeing, I can just about get one out. Also, if I'm already mid-stream and someone walks in, they can go anywhere then, and because I've already started, I can usually finish.

At busy places like the footie, I go 5 mins before half-time to ensure I can use a cubicle without issue.
 
5UB said:
A good tip is to lay loo roll across the seat, sit on it, do your business, and lower the dump down safely in the water. It works mind you, I do it a lot now.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

5UB said:
How is it? It is just the same technique they use when lowering big fish back into the sea.
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

:D
 
Depends how sloshed I am at the time, more beer = less stage fright. It is highly annoying and I dont know why it happens. Damn you dong to brain receptor! Damn you!
 
I'll always make a bee-line for the first available cubicle, and queue if necessary to get one. I haven't used a urinal in years for mainly 2 reasons :

First, the splashback - especially if you're busting and really need to hose it out.

Second :

ScarySquirrel said:
Does anyone else, when alone in a toilet, start a steady stream of urine going and then back as far away from the urinal as possible, creating a wonderful golden (depending on beverage choice for the day) arch from tip to toilet?
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This. About 10 years or so ago I was at an arena gig and went to take a wizz. Queued up, waited, got to the urinal and found I was next to some absolutely wasted bloke with his friends cheering him on. He proceeds to start walking as far backwards as he can while peeing and shaking his knob. Result = urine all over the urinal, the wall, the floor, my jeans and my shoes. They just stood there laughing their asses off, so I finished up, tucked it in, and shoulder charged him. He collapsed, being drunk and the floor now soaking, lay there in a pool of his own wazz while STILL GOING.

The other blokes became very apologetic when they realised the 4 people behind me in the queue were my mates, but I was so bloody angry about the whole thing I vowed to never use a public urinal again.
 
To combat any urinal shyness, I tend to just get drunk. Unfortunately, this often results in me taking a dump in the sink and being thrown out.
 
I don't feel the need to display my 'PRIVATE' parts (the clue is in the name) stood <1m away from 2 other guys!

+ I'd rather not see theirs!
 
You realise it's all you Bar Stewards using the cubicles for a pee that splash it all over the seat and on the floor which means I have to spend 5 minutes wiping it all down so I can have a poo !! :mad:
 
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