So you've just become PM, what's on the menu?

Ban elderly people doing their main shopping on Saturdays, esp morning. Even working age customers are getting annoyed by them. “They have all week to shop”

They can go shopping on Saturdays if they have been on holiday and returned Friday or small hours of Saturday, providing proof. Such as passport stamp, boarding pass, hotel booking confirmation etc

My parents are retired and don’t shop on Saturdays unless they have returned home on Friday. Three times in 12 years. I didn’t make them but they don’t understand old dears shopping on Saturdays
 
Boomer appreciation payments funded by lowering income support.
Enforced veganism with rule breakers publicly flogged.
Lower council tax for people with nice views.
Wanted to keep the thread sensible
 
Margarine would be renamed disappointment spread.

Laurence Fox would be deported to an uninhabited island in the outer Hebrides. With only a change of clothes, some pot noodles and the entire works of Karl Marx. (EDIT: Actually make him take Tony Blair with him)

Danger mouse would appear on a bank note.

Weatherspoons would be required to open separate branches so I can get an insanely cheap breakfast and bottomless coffee without having to share a space with people drinking at 9am. It would also have no noisy fruit machines.

We'd abolish the monarchy and replace the national anthem with Girls just Wanna Have Fun.

Morrissey and Ian Brown would be made to sit in the corner and think about their behaviour.
 
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In all seriousness,

Big change to parliament, house of commons replaced with a completely proportional system. Lords replaced with a system similar to how we elect our current MPs but possibly a bit more proportional.

I can think of loads of other things but getting rid of the two party system would be a good start.
 
People who don’t like foreign cuisine should not go on holiday abroad. It’s bloody embarrassing to see people in SSSpaine (they can’t point out where they are in Spain on a map) eating shepherds pie downing a pint of John Smiths.

There are the odd German, Norwegian (saw one in Rhodes Town) bars but too many British ones.
 
Make all clothing retailers to make ladies tops an inch longer and looser sleeves. They forget about tall muscular ladies. Lost count in the number of times I have returned tops due to these.

Make all ladies’ trousers to have pockets

All shoes should be light in weight like Skechers.
 
cheesefest said:
Make all clothing retailers to make ladies tops an inch longer and looser sleeves. They forget about tall muscular ladies. Lost count in the number of times I have returned tops due to these.

Make all ladies’ trousers to have pockets

All shoes should be light in weight like Skechers.
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All policies that parties across the political spectrum will be in awe of and desperate to add to their next manifestos :)
 
cheesefest said:
My parents are retired and don’t shop on Saturdays unless they have returned home on Friday. Three times in 12 years. I didn’t make them but they don’t understand old dears shopping on Saturdays
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I apologise for my parents.

cheesefest said:
People who don’t like foreign cuisine should not go on holiday abroad. It’s bloody embarrassing to see people in SSSpaine (they can’t point out where they are in Spain on a map) eating shepherds pie downing a pint of John Smiths.
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It's even worse when they leave bad reviews for hotels or restaurants because they don't like the lack of western junk food.
 
cheesefest said:
People who don’t like foreign cuisine should not go on holiday abroad. It’s bloody embarrassing to see people in SSSpaine (they can’t point out where they are in Spain on a map) eating shepherds pie downing a pint of John Smiths.

There are the odd German, Norwegian (saw one in Rhodes Town) bars but too many British ones.
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hmmmm i think you need to think that through a bit more.

if you are consistent then we say goodbye to indian, chinese, tapas, italian restaurants here.... indeed one of the things i love about the uk is (despite what some of the media and our government would like us to believe) is our cosmopolitan nature.

with that in mind..... if people want to go to Spain and eat British cuisine then fair play to them.... I agree they should not complain if they go to a local restaurant however and cant get British style food.

when i lived on the outskirts of "curry mile" (Rusholme Manchester) i dont think I ever saw people complaining that indian people were eating indian style food. (damn i miss the Manc curries.................... and whilst i am thinking about it monsoons kebab shop opposite the old BBC building. Best Kebab i have ever tasted....chicken tika on an elephant leg and the best donna meat ever, served on freshly baked naan with yoghurt sauce and lettuce (not cabbage) . its closed now .

:(
 
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cheesefest said:
People who don’t like foreign cuisine should not go on holiday abroad. It’s bloody embarrassing to see people in SSSpaine (they can’t point out where they are in Spain on a map) eating shepherds pie downing a pint of John Smiths.

There are the odd German, Norwegian (saw one in Rhodes Town) bars but too many British ones.
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The British are just awful, aren't they?

Not us, obviously. We travel- they go "on holidays".

I remember when I was sitting in a little place I know in Avila, just north of Madrid, and this awful chap turned up who could hardly even pronounce Cerveza. It was just embarrassing- I don't know why he didn't just stay at "home" with his equally appalling friends. What was worse, he had the nerve to call me a snob, when I picked him up on the Castillan theta.

These people don't even want to be helped. Simply dreadful!
 
potatolord said:
The British are just awful, aren't they?

Not us, obviously. We travel- they go "on holidays".

I remember when I was sitting in a little place I know in Avila, just north of Madrid, and this awful chap turned up who could hardly even pronounce Cerveza. It was just embarrassing- I don't know why he didn't just stay at "home" with his equally appalling friends. What was worse, he had the nerve to call me a snob, when I picked him up on the Castillan theta.

These people don't even want to be helped. Simply dreadful!
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genuinely not sure if being serious or sarcastic!.

would you correct a chinese tourist on their pronunciation if speaking English? Personally i think it is nice when people make the effort, and i would hope the locals do too.... and do not care if they get it a bit wrong.
 
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bigmike20vt said:
genuinely not sure if being serious or sarcastic!.

would you correct a chinese tourist on their pronunciation if speaking English? Personally i think it is nice when people make the effort, and i would hope the locals do too.... and do not care if they get it a bit wrong.
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Haha, I was being sarcastic!

I was channelling the Guardian's comments section there.
 
Pawnless Endgame said:
If you mean weed, then yes I agree with you. Everyone smokes weed. Ok, maybe not you or me, but when I say that "everyone smokes weed", I mean like 99% of the population. Legalise it, regulate it, tax it, and put police resources into more serious issues such as burglaries and violent crimes.
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You believe 99% of people smoke weed?
 
cheesefest said:
People who don’t like foreign cuisine should not go on holiday abroad. It’s bloody embarrassing to see people in SSSpaine (they can’t point out where they are in Spain on a map) eating shepherds pie downing a pint of John Smiths.

There are the odd German, Norwegian (saw one in Rhodes Town) bars but too many British ones.
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you have a real problem with people that dont like the same things as you do?
 
Trifid said:
I apologise for my parents.




It's even worse when they leave bad reviews for hotels or restaurants because they don't like the lack of western junk food.
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Love trying the local cuisine. Many people say they “don’t like” when they have never tried it.
 
bigmike20vt said:
hmmmm i think you need to think that through a bit more.

if you are consistent then we say goodbye to indian, chinese, tapas, italian restaurants here.... indeed one of the things i love about the uk is (despite what some of the media and our government would like us to believe) is our cosmopolitan nature.

with that in mind..... if people want to go to Spain and eat British cuisine then fair play to them.... I agree they should not complain if they go to a local restaurant however and cant get British style food.

when i lived on the outskirts of "curry mile" (Rusholme Manchester) i dont think I ever saw people complaining that indian people were eating indian style food. (damn i miss the Manc curries.................... and whilst i am thinking about it monsoons kebab shop opposite the old BBC building. Best Kebab i have ever tasted....chicken tika on an elephant leg and the best donna meat ever, served on freshly baked naan with yoghurt sauce and lettuce (not cabbage) . its closed now .

:(
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I agree that people have a free choice what to eat. It’s those who have a tantrum if the hotel doesn’t have any ketchup. I have witnessed this in one of the Costa de Sol.
 
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