Just found this elsewhere and it made me laugh (Horus Heresy spoilers but I assume everyone here knows the story)
HH as a bar fight
The Emperor, owner of a bar downtown declares his grand opening after evicting the previous owners and buys a round for everyone and leaves the place in the capable hands of his manager Horus.
Horus is ****ed at the new format and wants a dance club instead of a pub and decides to make it happen.
His bouncers, Mortarion, Angron, and Fulgrim (who likes to dance) all agree this is the right course to take the bar.
The Emperor’s most loyal customer, Magnus, files a complaint about this via text message but cell phones are not allowed in the bar. The Emperor tells Horus to get the doorman, Leman Russ to escort Magnus out.
Horus instead instructs Russ to throw him out. Russ instead smashes a bar stool over his head and then drags him out the back door.
Fulgrim takes over as DJ and starts playing some Lady Gaga. Everyone gets down.
Rogal Dorn, working the coat check isn’t too pleased at what’s happening and sends some of the guys to deal with this.
Corax and Vulkan start arguments with Angron and Mortarion. Ferrus Manus has words with Fulgrim about the music. A dance off ensues with Fulgrim knocking Ferrus out cold with a sucker punch.
The three talk tough as their buddies Alpharius, Lorgar, Konrad Curze and Perterabo show up to back them up.
Just as the argument heats up, the new guys smash beer bottles over Vulkan and Corax and have them thrown out of the bar.
Dorn seeing he is outnumbered locks himself in the coat check and gets on the phone to call his friends. While Perturabo and Angron try to smash the door down, Sanguinius and Khan show up for the fight. Gulliman is enjoying a 7-up at a bar across town but says he’s sober enough to drive over. Meanwhile Lion El Johnson can’t get past the line up because he's too busy fighting with his girlfriend.
While Khan revs his harley outside to scare everyone, Sanguinius tries to take on Horus who bitch slaps him to the ground. With all the noise and racket going on, the Emperor gets off the net (where he’s been trying to block spammers all night) and comes downstairs to sort the mess out. Dorn comes out of the coat check mouthing off at everyone.
Horus and the Emperor beat each other up until Horus passes out. Just then El’Johnson sneaks in with fake I.D. and Gulliman finally shows up with most of his Facebook friends (He has over 100 000). Russ shows up but is too drunk to fight.
Angron, Fulgrim et. al grab Horus’ limp body and make a run for the dance club down the street, vowing revenge. Alpharius stays behind in a washroom stall with a trench coat and sunglasses to beat up unsuspecting patrons.
Gulliman and Dorn put the Emperor in his lazyboy upstairs hoping he’ll wake up sooner or later. Gulliman takes temporary management of the bar and institutes a smoking ban and can’t serve to minors anymore rule. He also creates a more standard menu consisting of only meat products. Eldar, Orks and Tau are still banned.
IMMENSE