Soldato
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***The All New OCUK Anonymous Confession Thread!***
- Thread starter Burnsy2023
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Soldato
Thats because it tasted of BS!
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Please, no!!!
Soldato
amusing thread to say the least 
Can it realy get more shocking?
Some of the weird storys remind me of 'Coming of age'.. the episode titled 'up the botty' where jasmine manges to poo on ollys mums bed.. so they stick his mums dog on there and blame him.. and the vet has to put the dog down as the vet thinks the dogs got internal injuries due to the amount of crap on the bed...
The tale about the lad who sniffs out girls who've got the painters in made me feel sick though tbh.. thats just rank :\ Go eat some black pudding or something!
Can it realy get more shocking?
Some of the weird storys remind me of 'Coming of age'.. the episode titled 'up the botty' where jasmine manges to poo on ollys mums bed.. so they stick his mums dog on there and blame him.. and the vet has to put the dog down as the vet thinks the dogs got internal injuries due to the amount of crap on the bed...
The tale about the lad who sniffs out girls who've got the painters in made me feel sick though tbh.. thats just rank :\ Go eat some black pudding or something!
Man of Honour
Even though that's a story that's amazing!
Soldato
Soldato
They tried it again the next night and the same thing happened *insert farty poo noise*.. so they put his disabled grandad onto the bed and blamed him!
He got put in a nursing home LOL.
Realy funny show that, you should watch it
EDIT - Its on youtube.. from BBCThree Coming of Age Episode 5: Up the Botty
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Soldato
Soldato
To those that like womans underwear saying it "feels god", I can't get my head round that. Surely it doesn't have the baggy bit that mens underwear has to accommodate your meat and two veg, so do you like having your testicles crushed all day long or something? 
Is that what makes it "good"?
Is that what makes it "good"?
Soldato
Man of Honour
To those that like womans underwear saying it "feels god", I can't get my head round that. Surely it doesn't have the baggy bit that mens underwear has to accommodate your meat and two veg, so do you like having your testicles crushed all day long or something?
Well it's clear isn't it? the tuck it nicely into their hassaole!
I just did a little sick when typing that...
Now that is epic. Probably the only confession in this entire thread got me go
Totally unexpected stuff that is!
Soldato
1:
Once when I was younger I furiously busted one out in my room in the dead of night. I then went to the bathroom completely naked in the dark as the whole family were asleep and cleaned up as I forgot to take a tissue!
Anyway...when exiting the bathroom as quietly as possible (in the nude I remind you) I see my sister standing there by the hallway waiting to use the bathroom!
Well most of you will be thinking that there's nothing much wrong with this as it's a sibling and many people sleep nude but.... but this was different, it was the first time I'd started pleasuring my soldier and the wow factor still remained for a while afterwards so as I was exiting the bathroom Mr Soldier was still standing at ease.
Now do you see the problem?
I heard much giggling from my sister's room the next day when some friends were round
2:
When I was a lot younger I was scared of going downstairs at night to use the bathroom as it was a scary house so I would pee behind the headboard against the wall. Nothing like peeing on the wall next to you then going back to sleep inhaling the warm pee-fumes..... :|
3:
I once left an omelette in the bedroom cupboard for a few weeks as I wanted to see the rate of "decay" - yes I was very sciency back then.
4:
I once photoshopped the face of someone I had a thing for on a porn star's body then furiously beat off to it. So much shame....
5:
I once drove into someone's parked car and drove off - the damage was not major to their car but was to mine, it was partly their fault for parking half on a busy piece of road but I still feel bad. One day when I have a spare £500 I will slip it in their letterbox as a gesture of apology. I might have done some weird things in my life but things like that I always try my best to make right in the end.
6:
A man once tried to bum me at a family gathering many many years ago (we stayed over and shared rooms due to the number of people). He himself was not a relative but a family friend IIRC. When I felt a throbbing sensation on my butt cheek I woke up like WTF, ran downstairs and hid under the table in the dining room. I heard him come down and not find me then went back upstairs. I have not told a soul about this but I know for a fact that if I ever see this guy again in my lifetime I will torture him for what he has done. Thank you Jack Bauer for showing me various things to use.
7:
Everyone has a hot distant cousin and has various thoughts about that person (RIGHT??????) but has anyone ever done anything foolish with them at least once when they were younger? 3rd base here....the man above in front of the pearly gates has a scroll of sins that reach the stars for me I just know it :-/
8:
When I was about 11 I found the VHS tape "Chinese Kamasutra" under my parent's bed and ran downstairs shouting about what kind of film it was and showing everyone (we had guests round). I got some beats that day!! I honestly thought it was a Kung-Fu movie because it had Chinese in the name.
Once when I was younger I furiously busted one out in my room in the dead of night. I then went to the bathroom completely naked in the dark as the whole family were asleep and cleaned up as I forgot to take a tissue!
Anyway...when exiting the bathroom as quietly as possible (in the nude I remind you) I see my sister standing there by the hallway waiting to use the bathroom!
Well most of you will be thinking that there's nothing much wrong with this as it's a sibling and many people sleep nude but.... but this was different, it was the first time I'd started pleasuring my soldier and the wow factor still remained for a while afterwards so as I was exiting the bathroom Mr Soldier was still standing at ease.
Now do you see the problem?
I heard much giggling from my sister's room the next day when some friends were round
2:
When I was a lot younger I was scared of going downstairs at night to use the bathroom as it was a scary house so I would pee behind the headboard against the wall. Nothing like peeing on the wall next to you then going back to sleep inhaling the warm pee-fumes..... :|
3:
I once left an omelette in the bedroom cupboard for a few weeks as I wanted to see the rate of "decay" - yes I was very sciency back then.
4:
I once photoshopped the face of someone I had a thing for on a porn star's body then furiously beat off to it. So much shame....
5:
I once drove into someone's parked car and drove off - the damage was not major to their car but was to mine, it was partly their fault for parking half on a busy piece of road but I still feel bad. One day when I have a spare £500 I will slip it in their letterbox as a gesture of apology. I might have done some weird things in my life but things like that I always try my best to make right in the end.
6:
A man once tried to bum me at a family gathering many many years ago (we stayed over and shared rooms due to the number of people). He himself was not a relative but a family friend IIRC. When I felt a throbbing sensation on my butt cheek I woke up like WTF, ran downstairs and hid under the table in the dining room. I heard him come down and not find me then went back upstairs. I have not told a soul about this but I know for a fact that if I ever see this guy again in my lifetime I will torture him for what he has done. Thank you Jack Bauer for showing me various things to use.
7:
Everyone has a hot distant cousin and has various thoughts about that person (RIGHT??????) but has anyone ever done anything foolish with them at least once when they were younger? 3rd base here....the man above in front of the pearly gates has a scroll of sins that reach the stars for me I just know it :-/
8:
When I was about 11 I found the VHS tape "Chinese Kamasutra" under my parent's bed and ran downstairs shouting about what kind of film it was and showing everyone (we had guests round). I got some beats that day!! I honestly thought it was a Kung-Fu movie because it had Chinese in the name.
Bitten off fingers ?, what does this guy mean
In answer to lowrider007, I mean the loose bits of skin at the sides of your nails that can be bitten off when you have run out of nail to chew.
I don't mean fingers that have been bitten off! What - do you think I'm sick?!?
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That is either extremely funny, or really really sick depending on what age you were at the time.
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