Soldato
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- Northern Ireland
***The All New OCUK Anonymous Confession Thread!***
- Thread starter Burnsy2023
- Start date
- Status
Did you manage to keep a straight face?
Associate
- Joined
- 5 Dec 2005
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- 1,698
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- Stockport
These are really funny, if not disturbing!
Soldato
- Joined
- 13 Jan 2004
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- 23,826
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- South East
Some of these are awesome!!
Yeah, especially the one about the young lad working in a bed shop and cracking one out on the footon!
- Joined
- 17 Nov 2003
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- 36,746
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- Southampton, UK
For about the past 6 months I have had an interest in Shemales.
I am not gay, but whenever browsing the "internet" I end up looking at
these pictures.
Some of them are really good looking, and have amazing bodies.
I had a conversation with a friend and we got onto the subject of Bangkok,
and he asked me what I would do if I found out that I had paid for a
ladyboy instead of a woman.
My reply was "I'd just finish up, get my money's worth"
He has looked at me oddly ever since.
I am not gay, but whenever browsing the "internet" I end up looking at
these pictures.
Some of them are really good looking, and have amazing bodies.
I had a conversation with a friend and we got onto the subject of Bangkok,
and he asked me what I would do if I found out that I had paid for a
ladyboy instead of a woman.
My reply was "I'd just finish up, get my money's worth"
He has looked at me oddly ever since.
I think its safe to say, that most of them are made up.
If not, this forum is full of sick sick freaks.
- Joined
- 17 Nov 2003
- Posts
- 36,746
- Location
- Southampton, UK
Ok so I have never told anyone this story, to this day. Here is my confession:
During my years I have served in a number of different jobs. One of them, when I was a young man, was working for a security firm that hired it's services out to other companies. One summer, I was shipped off in a month contract for a big industrial company that had a factory as well as offices all in the same massive complex. This place was very good to its staff, a modern carrot/stick based company.
One nightshift near the end of the contract, I was doing the usual patrol of the whole building. All the offices were closed and it was just the factory overnight staff in (And the other security person in at the time). Part of my duties were to check doors were locked and if not lock them and check the toilets to make sure no one had died in them, etc.
I came to the female toilets and took a quick peek in as no one around and it was what I was meant to do. I couldn't believe the stark contrast between the standards of that toilet and the gents down the corridor. They had big fancy mirrors, all sorts of machines dispensing god-knows-what and some smelling salts/perfumes/creams where the sink area was.
With curiosity getting the better of me, I decided to take a look/sniff at the stuff at the sink. What caught my interest was an unbranded skin moisturiser in a big bottle with a dispenser on top like liquid soap, to pump out the goods. Noticing that the consistency and texture of said moisturiser seemed a lot like spooge, it got me thinking....
Next thing I knew I had my trousers around my ankles, furiously beating off, knowing I was getting paid for it! When the moment was near I had a horrible thought, and ran with it. I managed to unscrew the dispenser off the moisturiser bottle and add my own special moisturiser to the contents of the bottle. After tiding up, I screwed the top back on and gave it a good shake and placed it back on the sink.
All this was near the end of my contract period and I ended up leaving and never going back. Always tickles me to this day thinking of the women working in those offices, applying my own special skin cream to their faces unknowingly. I bet they saw the results instantly with a tightening, youthful glow
During my years I have served in a number of different jobs. One of them, when I was a young man, was working for a security firm that hired it's services out to other companies. One summer, I was shipped off in a month contract for a big industrial company that had a factory as well as offices all in the same massive complex. This place was very good to its staff, a modern carrot/stick based company.
One nightshift near the end of the contract, I was doing the usual patrol of the whole building. All the offices were closed and it was just the factory overnight staff in (And the other security person in at the time). Part of my duties were to check doors were locked and if not lock them and check the toilets to make sure no one had died in them, etc.
I came to the female toilets and took a quick peek in as no one around and it was what I was meant to do. I couldn't believe the stark contrast between the standards of that toilet and the gents down the corridor. They had big fancy mirrors, all sorts of machines dispensing god-knows-what and some smelling salts/perfumes/creams where the sink area was.
With curiosity getting the better of me, I decided to take a look/sniff at the stuff at the sink. What caught my interest was an unbranded skin moisturiser in a big bottle with a dispenser on top like liquid soap, to pump out the goods. Noticing that the consistency and texture of said moisturiser seemed a lot like spooge, it got me thinking....
Next thing I knew I had my trousers around my ankles, furiously beating off, knowing I was getting paid for it! When the moment was near I had a horrible thought, and ran with it. I managed to unscrew the dispenser off the moisturiser bottle and add my own special moisturiser to the contents of the bottle. After tiding up, I screwed the top back on and gave it a good shake and placed it back on the sink.
All this was near the end of my contract period and I ended up leaving and never going back. Always tickles me to this day thinking of the women working in those offices, applying my own special skin cream to their faces unknowingly. I bet they saw the results instantly with a tightening, youthful glow
I've heard mates relate certain stories that are similar to a lot of these, and certainly equal in terms of depravity. Many of them have been confirmed by other parties and i've no real reason to doubt any of them.
So yes, i have no doubt at all that most of these are real and wouldn't be amazed if they all are.
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- Devon
I hope that some of these are not real, as they are disgusting, but you can still have some stars as I havent laughed at a thread so much in a while 
To burnsy, man you making me laugh so much with these stories
One time at band camp...
Was bout 15, and walking up back to my dads from paper round, came across a chair (plastic college type ones)... being a testosterone fuelled hound i sat down (it was dark and the winter months btw) sat down and began to fap... at the point of no return, i heard quite a lot of female voices from round by the side of this fence, i literally stood up and deposited on the seat and ran pulling up as i ran. Made it behind the corner of the other fences to see about 3/4 girls come round the corner, one of which was to die for. They were all giggling (me thinking did they see me) and a few of them started smoking standing around this chair, then "miss beautiful" takes a seat
and after a couple of seconds gets up and says something wet, the other girls start touching her skirt (as does she) and they all basically held it up to their nose and i remember hearing "this stuff smells creamy" (don't know what the **** i'd been eating, waited like a perv until they had finished ciggies before walking home biggest smile ever.
Story 2
Old old next door neighbours when i was around 16-17 (just started college) we had aunties dog over for 2/3 days and they had a dog next door so when our girl dog was out their boy dog would be up at the fence all the time scenting etc, so me and a friend at the weekend decided to give him so payback (as it always ran into the back yard) so set up a small tube and had these tiny ball bearings my mates dad used in his work, something to do with pistons and hydraulics, and rigged the tube up to a bike pump, mate in the bedroom window directed where to shoot, so me holding tube and foot at the ready... mate shouted "Pull" as it fired the contents of the tube hurtled at the dog causing a very painful yelp, the rest due to my lack of control hitting the brickwork (as these were stepped gardens you see) smacking into that and hitting directly into the kitchen window smashing it in about 3/4 places.
I just managed to duck my head after surveying the damage and leg it inside with the pump and little ball bearing jar and didn't dare to come out, the guy started shouting at youths on the field yonder who thankfully legged it and ergo got the blame. Remember my step mum telling me the "little idiots" cost next door £200 for a new window...
One time at band camp...
Was bout 15, and walking up back to my dads from paper round, came across a chair (plastic college type ones)... being a testosterone fuelled hound i sat down (it was dark and the winter months btw) sat down and began to fap... at the point of no return, i heard quite a lot of female voices from round by the side of this fence, i literally stood up and deposited on the seat and ran pulling up as i ran. Made it behind the corner of the other fences to see about 3/4 girls come round the corner, one of which was to die for. They were all giggling (me thinking did they see me) and a few of them started smoking standing around this chair, then "miss beautiful" takes a seat
and after a couple of seconds gets up and says something wet, the other girls start touching her skirt (as does she) and they all basically held it up to their nose and i remember hearing "this stuff smells creamy" (don't know what the **** i'd been eating, waited like a perv until they had finished ciggies before walking home biggest smile ever.Story 2
Old old next door neighbours when i was around 16-17 (just started college) we had aunties dog over for 2/3 days and they had a dog next door so when our girl dog was out their boy dog would be up at the fence all the time scenting etc, so me and a friend at the weekend decided to give him so payback (as it always ran into the back yard) so set up a small tube and had these tiny ball bearings my mates dad used in his work, something to do with pistons and hydraulics, and rigged the tube up to a bike pump, mate in the bedroom window directed where to shoot, so me holding tube and foot at the ready... mate shouted "Pull" as it fired the contents of the tube hurtled at the dog causing a very painful yelp, the rest due to my lack of control hitting the brickwork (as these were stepped gardens you see) smacking into that and hitting directly into the kitchen window smashing it in about 3/4 places.
I just managed to duck my head after surveying the damage and leg it inside with the pump and little ball bearing jar and didn't dare to come out, the guy started shouting at youths on the field yonder who thankfully legged it and ergo got the blame. Remember my step mum telling me the "little idiots" cost next door £200 for a new window...
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