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***The All New OCUK Anonymous Confession Thread!***

Discussion in 'GD Archive' started by Burnsy2023, Feb 26, 2009.

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  1. The IPB


    Joined: Jul 15, 2005

    Posts: 3,386

    Location: In the cage

    I'll confess to something just to keep the ball rolling, not terrible but I find it funny looking back.

    I was on my way round to a girls house my mate had set me up with, I had full intentions of nailing this girl and she knew it, it was a guaranteed lay. I was excited she wasn't a supermodel but a worthy adversary.

    So I get there, the house is empty we snuggle up on the sofa watching some **** on tv, I start the leg rubbing then the kissing, fast forward and we go up to her room.

    So we're on the bed kissing and I pull her trousers off thinking I'll munch it for a bit then nail her and be off, everyone is happy all going well. Anyway I start taking off her panties and what I'm met with is this giant 70's bush, I mean this thing looked like Kimbo Slices beard. The sight of this thing just made me burst out laughing, she started crying then screamed for me to leave.

    I walked to my friends house and got high instead. Needless to say, I never spoke to her again.

    Kimbo's Beard
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2009
  2. Jono8


    Joined: May 20, 2007

    Posts: 30,520

    Location: Surrey


    should have kept quiet and gone through with it anway though :p
  3. Knubje


    Joined: Jun 5, 2008

    Posts: 6,236

    Location: Portsmouth/Fareham

    Aahahah good story and I loved that quote!
  4. N19h7m4r3


    Joined: Mar 13, 2008

    Posts: 9,313

    Location: Ireland

    I love the taste of blood...

    I love getting hurt physically to a certain degree, i actually laugh hystercially when i get into a fight and get my face beaten to bits.

    I won't usually start fighting back properly until the guy is completely freaked out and I'm covered in blood almost.

    I love getting scars.

    Not much really but oh well, might aswell add a little something.
  5. Ziggy


    Joined: Apr 4, 2009

    Posts: 2,561

    You sir, are a legend. :cool:
  6. jp_bl_68


    Joined: Jan 3, 2009

    Posts: 8,040

    Last time I was in Amsterdam I watched a woman smoking a cigarette with her holiest of holies. I'd completely forgotten about it until now. It was an awesome trip.
  7. J.B


    Joined: Aug 16, 2006

    Posts: 5,922

    Platinum87, is that you? :p
  8. Beasty


    Joined: Mar 6, 2009

    Posts: 2,518

    Location: Nottingham

    Actually scratch that confession you never know who's watching ;o
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2009
  9. Curunen


    Joined: Jan 17, 2007

    Posts: 3,422

    Location: London

    Haha, :D . Glad to see this thread be revived.
  10. LoadsaMoney


    Joined: Jul 8, 2003

    Posts: 28,432

    Location: In a house

    Not if shes smoking yer.... ;)
  11. jp_bl_68


    Joined: Jan 3, 2009

    Posts: 8,040

    If she smokes, she pokes.
  12. InvaderGIR


    Joined: Jul 14, 2005

    Posts: 17,427

    Location: Bristol


    So what you're saying is if she smokes she has a todger?!
  13. Kearney_1988

    Wise Guy

    Joined: Jan 21, 2008

    Posts: 1,676

    Location: Birmingham

    I was thinking the exact same thing
  14. Burnsy2023

    Man of Honour

    Joined: Nov 17, 2003

    Posts: 36,434

    Location: Southampton, UK

    A couple weeks back I'd had a heavy night out on the drink, walked a fair way home trying to hold back from going for a leak. Got back to the house and as I was going through the door my bladder gave in on me. "Crap. Crap. Crap! Ok, it's alright..." I thought to myself. Everyones asleep, mother, dad and sister... When I notice a light in the downstairs hallway and my dad call through to see if it was me! Meanwhile I was still losing liquid like no-ones business and my shoes were getting soggy. I legged it upstairs as quickly as I could, changed my clothes in an instant, back down the stairs to see the carpet had a nice wet trail up the stairs! CRAP CRAP CRAP. Some how I come up with the idea of getting a pint of water and going upstairs, and 'tripping' over the steps so I spill it. I do this, smugly, only to notice my dad see me make a half arsed fake attempt of spilling my drink....

    Luckily he had socks on and probably thought it was all water.
  15. jp_bl_68


    Joined: Jan 3, 2009

    Posts: 8,040

    Yup, just like Lady Gaga.

    (I was going to post a pic but I'm not sure if it's family friendly enough)
  16. N19h7m4r3


    Joined: Mar 13, 2008

    Posts: 9,313

    Location: Ireland

    Who's this Platinum87?

    I remember that little OCUK comic with him and fish fingers I think.
    That was funny :D
  17. Kristoph


    Joined: May 11, 2007

    Posts: 8,271

    IT'S HIM! :eek:
  18. N19h7m4r3


    Joined: Mar 13, 2008

    Posts: 9,313

    Location: Ireland

    I am?! :eek:
  19. Stinky


    Joined: Mar 28, 2005

    Posts: 9,160

    hehe i forgot about this thread. cant remember if i actually sent my confession lol
  20. Stolly


    Joined: Mar 11, 2004

    Posts: 4,964

    I feel violated that you reacted in such a way to what sounded like an awesome situation. Women that dirty are few and far between.

    She may have given you a backdoor pass of your own, and she may have been happy to gargle in a hot salt solution to finish off.

    Instead you ran away. That my boy is an opportunity missed.
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