Wilkinson spares Stoke blushes with last-gasp assault
Right-back Andy Wilkinson struck in the final minute of Stoke’s 2-0 victory against Fulham, as his wild lunge on Moussa Dembele saw the Belgian forward stretchered off in agony, leaving Potters manager Tony Pulis “immensely relieved”.
“This club has a reputation for playing the game a certain way,” Pulis told reporters after the match, “And we work hard to maintain that. For a while tonight it looked like we were going to let Fulham get away scot free, but when it mattered Andy’s stood up, done a little jump, and mashed their lad’s cartilage. I’m very proud of him.”
The shaven-headed Wilkinson told Back Of The Net that he was delighted with his contribution, but the 26-year old was just as keen to pay tribute to his team-mates.
“Sure, it was me this time, but the gaffer’s building a squad full of over-violent ******** who can deliver career-threatening injuries from anywhere on the field,” he said. “You look at the feral ****ends who weren’t even playing today, like Abdoulaye Faye and Michael Tonge, and you know you’re going to have to be at your very worst to get a game here.
“Hopefully my vicious assault in the final seconds of an already-won match in a pointlesss competition will show the gaffer I can do a job against teams like Chelsea and Man United,” continued the lunk-jawed hatchetman. “The dream is to come away from Stamford Bridge or Old Trafford with all three points, someone else’s blood on your shirt, and maybe a few teeth to fashion into a trophy necklace.”
“GRUUUUH,” he added. “STOKE SMASH.”
