**The Mental Health Thread**

Steedie said:
The cost is pretty high, but I feel the cost of me trying to deal with this myself in the long term is much, much higher
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Yes.

I totally lost my **** back in 2021, literally came very close to just doing myself in.

For ages I thought I could deal with it myself, or it was just a "passing phase" or whatever, when I was gravely mistaken. I feel it's very much a "bloke" thing to do, keep kidding yourself it'll just go away, or "it's not that bad" when in reality it's gotten out of control.

I got professional help, and some medication and counseling and it worked very well, and that's the point where I realised just how much I did need the help.
 
Steedie said:
I have such a short temper these days and I just massively over react to every negative situation.
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This is definitely one the 'warning signs' in myself that I notice, stress is definitely a trigger for it but it's not the only thing. I find myself flipping out at the slightest of things, and its when I know I'm having a bad spell.


As for myself recently, the state of my relationship is definitely taking its toll on the both of us. But it's just something we have to work through. I'm trying to find something to look forward to, or to work towards but feels a bit like I'm in purgatory and I don't know where I'm going to be so finding it hard to plan for stuff.
 
Steedie said:
I'm a contractor and my current client are up in Scotland, I'm down in Oxfordshire :D so commuting isn't exactly possible at the moment. But I've started giving thought to finding a more local role and one that offers a hybrid working solution.

But you're 100% right. I have zero social life other than car meets, and maybe seeing a friend once in a blue moon for a coffee and catch up so that combined with no interaction while working, just not a good mix



Thanks, man :) appreciated.

I've seen the NHS fail my dad so many times, that you're right, I'd have to go private. The cost is pretty high, but I feel the cost of me trying to deal with this myself in the long term is much, much higher. I have private healthcare, and I think they offer it so might have a chat with them
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Definitely get chatting to your health insurance. I've had private coverage through a variety of employers over the years and I've definitely noticed a fairly large shift in the ease of getting coverage for mental health treatment recently. I'm currently with Bupa and I could self refer to a therapist I had seen previously that was approved with no questions asked.

As you said the service of NHS can be a bit poor, I've had family that have had positive experiences though via NHS therapists and seen relatively quickly but my experience was that unless you were suicidal it just wasn't a priority for them.

Good luck, please don't feel like you're coming in here moaning. It's literally what this space is for, keep us posted on how you get on with your health insurance and any future therapy sessions. I always found writing out (not necessarily posting in here) how I felt after the first couple of therapy sessions really helped to process what had come up.
 
Steedie said:
Sorry for the rant, appreciate I've not posted in here before but I just wanted to put that down in words for my own benefit, as it's only really these last couple of days that I've had this realisation that this is something more than just a bad mood
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Didn't come across as a rant at all! It's important to yourself to be open about things. Well done and good luck with the Doc's.
 
Definitely not a rant @Steedie and I'm sorry you're feeling this way.

Do you find yourself generally having a hard time regulating your emotions or just having a short temper?

I went through a contracting time where I felt the same. I felt like I was aiming for something arbitrary to find happiness as what I was doing and what I had just didn't give it to me. I thought if I got to something else I'd find it and the search continued until I had a wake up call that it was in front of me my whole time. I lacked massively the ability to be present as I was so stuck in either the past or potential future I missed what was today. I was erratic, had huge mood swings and a short temper and very much didn't like myself.

Not sure if it resonates with you at all, just thought I'd share. Well done on realising it though and not just ignoring it and trying to plod on. Much respect for that.
 
randomshenans said:
Definitely not a rant @Steedie and I'm sorry you're feeling this way.

Do you find yourself generally having a hard time regulating your emotions or just having a short temper?

I went through a contracting time where I felt the same. I felt like I was aiming for something arbitrary to find happiness as what I was doing and what I had just didn't give it to me. I thought if I got to something else I'd find it and the search continued until I had a wake up call that it was in front of me my whole time. I lacked massively the ability to be present as I was so stuck in either the past or potential future I missed what was today. I was erratic, had huge mood swings and a short temper and very much didn't like myself.

Not sure if it resonates with you at all, just thought I'd share. Well done on realising it though and not just ignoring it and trying to plod on. Much respect for that.
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It ****ing resonates with me :eek:

Very much feel like I'm frustrated and driving at some quite vague future goal which might never happen. Really bad at enjoying the moment. Despite laughing every single day with people I always feel like I'm on hold and should be "making progress".

Once I get out of this house share and into our new house, that needs to be the end of waiting for the next thing to be happy. I need to have a sit down with myself and say if I'm still claiming things will get better later, I need to change everything now. Even if it means wrecking my life to get out of this pattern.
 
I’ve been taking Mirtazapine low dosage for about the last 12 months and they seem to have helped with my sleep disorder but at the cost of weight gain. Anyone else have the weight gain also? My appetite seems to have increased considerably.
 
I’m only just coming to the realisation that I’ve suffered from anxiety all my life (now 37). I originally thought it began in my mid 20’s when my parents divorced, but now I realise I’ve been in denial about it for a long time.

I’ve sought help over the years and I’m still undertaking counselling now.

Unfortunately in 2020 I developed CFS/ME, potentially after a virus. However I began to notice symptoms through 2019 (crushing fatigue, weakness, difficulty standing). It may be I developed CFS after trying to get by with Ménière’s disease for the past 5/6 years which has destroyed my hearing and gives me random and very violent and prolonged vertigo attacks.

The attacks used to give me panic attacks because they would go on for 10+ hours. I kept pushing for years with Ménière’s, afraid even going to work everyday wondering if it would be today I got another attack infront of everyone. Anyway, that prolonged stress probably pushed me in to CFS.

Since developing CFS my emotions are all over the place and my anxiety has never been worse. There have been periods when I would get a panic attack just leaving home. I can’t tolerate stress well now at all, and I get emotionally overwhelmed very quickly. It’s extremely upsetting and frustrating to me, given I always saw myself as a logical and level headed person. But some days I don’t feel in control of my emotions on any level and combined with my physical difficulties it consumes me.

I fear going to bed every night laying here because it’s the worst possible scenario for me. I’m dizzy as hell laying down, feel like I’m being thrown all over the place, and night always brings out anxiety and panic in me. Last week I had an episode where I was shaking for two hours in bed fighting off a panic attack. It got to the point where I was truly bored and fed up of it.

And after a couple of years of rest from the vertigo, it’s coming back now since Covid over Christmas, with a vengeance. Truly the last thing I need.

My poor general health and my mental health go hand in hand.

I keep trying though. Remind myself everyday that the panic and anxiety is my minds way of trying to protect me. It thinks it’s doing me a favour - even though ultimately it isn’t.

When I was younger I thought life would either get easier or mellow out the older I got. Doesn’t seem that way anymore unfortunately, but I won’t lose hope.
 
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MOOGLEYS said:
Woke at 4am with Anxiety unable to get back to sleep. This is getting pretty intense now the feeling of being really tired but unable to sleep is horrid. I can feel the Anxiety building inside me and the hot flushes, headaches and adrenaline rushes are causing more anxiety. My whole body is buzzing tired but restless.

Think I might need to see the doc about something to temporary help with the sleep.
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I know it’s hard mate, try to remind yourself repeatedly that the body is trying to help you, even if it doesn’t seem that way. It helps me to constantly remind myself what the body is doing, it’s a chemical reaction, readying a state of alert. I personally find focusing on the most logical aspects helps me to deal with the irrational/emotional side.
 
cyber69 said:
I’ve been taking Mirtazapine low dosage for about the last 12 months and they seem to have helped with my sleep disorder but at the cost of weight gain. Anyone else have the weight gain also? My appetite seems to have increased considerably.
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I was kept on mirtazapine for 3 years. I put on around 4 extra stone in that time. I was always hungry, occasionally woke up during the night for a snack, it's very bad for weight gain.

I'm off that now and take sertraline, this for me is a much better anti depressant. I should have switched sooner and not stayed on the mirtazapine for so long, I was a constant zombie. Not sure how I managed my days!
 
MOOGLEYS said:
Woke at 4am with Anxiety unable to get back to sleep. This is getting pretty intense now the feeling of being really tired but unable to sleep is horrid. I can feel the Anxiety building inside me and the hot flushes, headaches and adrenaline rushes are causing more anxiety. My whole body is buzzing tired but restless.

Think I might need to see the doc about something to temporary help with the sleep.
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I'm totally the same, my sleep is a mess! Waking up in the middle of the night in a panic is awful. My sleep app says I get no deep sleep.
 
Managed to survive the sertraline withdrawal it seems. I did feel quite wishy washy (i.e. weird sensation like dizziness - I was walking around like I was drunk!) around the 7-10 day mark though. I can now start to feel the old symptoms coming back - feeling down, irritable and some anxiety. Think my next step is to try asking the doc for escitalopram but will give it til the beginning of next month and see how I get on with increased exercise and meditation.
 
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ic1male said:
Managed to survive the sertraline withdrawal it seems. I did feel quite wishy washy (i.e. weird sensation like dizziness - I was walking around like I was drunk!) around the 7-10 day mark though. I can now start to feel the old symptoms coming back - feeling down, irritable and some anxiety. Think my next step is to try asking the doc for escitalopram but will give it til the beginning of next month and see how I get on with increased exercise and meditation.
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I hope it works out well for you. I've concluded that I'll be on meds for my entire life, and apart from needing to watch my weight and take monthly blood tests, it isn't too bad.

It sounds like you are doing the right things by monitoring your symptoms.
 
ic1male said:
What circumstances dictate taking two meds together? Is it because you were on Max dose of escitalopram and weren’t feeling better?
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Yes. Correct. I had been on 60mg Citalopram but NICE said that caused heart pronblems. Reduced to 40mg Citalopram but wasn't working so was put on 20 mg Escitalopram but still not as effective as 60mg Citalopram (which I had been on for about 15 years).
 
burtie said:
I'm totally the same, my sleep is a mess! Waking up in the middle of the night in a panic is awful. My sleep app says I get no deep sleep.
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It’s horrible when sleep is messed up too. It makes the days much harder to cope with.

My sleep has improved somewhat but is still not great. I have found magnesium before bed to be helpful. I also do a meditation or mild cbt before sleep to try and help settle the mind somewhat.

I have now started getting headaches that come and go during the day. Sometimes quite intense sometimes just a niggle. Always enough to trigger my Anxiety though. I’m sure my brain hates me tbh and if it could would relocate to a better place.
 
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