Soldato
Can’t get my adhd meds once again…:-/
**The Mental Health Thread**
- Thread starter Gabbatek
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- mental health
On the exercise/gym chat above, I think why that is very therapeutic is three fold:
- Intense physical exertion is a great way of getting space away from disruptive / repeating thoughts and emotional patterns… and sometimes a little space can open your mind to different and new thoughts that wouldn’t be possible without this healthy distraction.
- For a lazy mind that is prone to wallowing, practicing long term discipline and focus is undoubtedly good.
- There is a reason people find comfort with religion and raising their own families: it’s inherently fulfilling to serve and pursue a perpetual purpose. With exercise, you are serving and being responsible for yourself… which is very easy to forget to do. As an adult, nobody is going to look after yourself for you!
Have almost lost 3 stone this year - definitely stoked that all the hard work and discipline is visibly paying off - huurghh!
*****
@moon man that sounds like it could have been a very sorry situation, look after yourself!
- Intense physical exertion is a great way of getting space away from disruptive / repeating thoughts and emotional patterns… and sometimes a little space can open your mind to different and new thoughts that wouldn’t be possible without this healthy distraction.
- For a lazy mind that is prone to wallowing, practicing long term discipline and focus is undoubtedly good.
- There is a reason people find comfort with religion and raising their own families: it’s inherently fulfilling to serve and pursue a perpetual purpose. With exercise, you are serving and being responsible for yourself… which is very easy to forget to do. As an adult, nobody is going to look after yourself for you!
Have almost lost 3 stone this year - definitely stoked that all the hard work and discipline is visibly paying off - huurghh!
*****
@moon man that sounds like it could have been a very sorry situation, look after yourself!
Soldato
I've decided to move out. Things weren't working out at her mum's and I've found a cheap flat rental nearby that will suffice for now.
I don't think there's any way forward other than this. It's going to be a big dose of reality for her as I've singlehandedly kept the family afloat for the last 12 years, and to a high standard of living. I'm not really happy about the prospect of living alone in a 1-bed flat after 12 years of being a homeowner, I know students with nicer digs than what I'm moving into.
I don't think there's any way forward other than this. It's going to be a big dose of reality for her as I've singlehandedly kept the family afloat for the last 12 years, and to a high standard of living. I'm not really happy about the prospect of living alone in a 1-bed flat after 12 years of being a homeowner, I know students with nicer digs than what I'm moving into.
Caporegime
It's a bad idea to move out on your own accord when there are children involved - you may have just given up a lot of your rights, especially if things get ugly and it ends up going to court.
Soldato
Not wholly my own accord really, it's mutually agreed to give her the space she needs. I'll look into it though.
Yes. Absolutely. I stayed with my sister. Anything was better than being in that environment. Even if it's a dive it's better than before!
If this is true that totally sucks. What a **** system.
Soldato
when im"fed up" i just eat crap, mainly sugar to the point it can phyisically hurt
the next day i just cannot focus, dont eat till late then the cycle starts again
ive managed to cut the worst crap out for the last few days and i have a little clarity but still annot focus
im off work atm, really dont want to go back its a hateful company
mainly stay in bed, and thats getting worse as its warm and reasomably comfoatable there
ive no family and have really isoltaed myself and my couple of friends are miles away
there are issues i need to sort out but dont want to, i know what people will say, get out the house, eat better, go to the gym, get onto of the things you have to do
theres just no enjoyment in anything
i just want to be in bed and sleep
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You will continue to not find enjoyment in anything else if you continue to satiate yourself by overeating. The only person who can make the change if you, nobody can do it for you.
Actual change does sometimes require courage to tear yourself away from things that bring you comfort but are ultimately unhelpful to you.
It will be rough to change your habits, but you can definitely do it
True story: I had some sweets a couple of weeks ago, having been on a strict healthy diet for quite some time. I enjoyed the sweets and ate a lot. I thought nothing more of it.
For about 4-5 days afterwards, I was very agitated. I kept feeling like I needed to consume something… like I wanted more sweets, or to have a drink, or to have sex. Just… give me something!!! I actually signed up to the national lottery to buy some tickets, although I didn’t buy any.
It was only after this period that I connected it all back to eating the sweets. It was so enjoyable to my body, long deprived of simple sugars, that it made me want to repeat the behaviour and ‘simple rush’.
Perhaps that says more about me than anything else, but do not underestimate how foods like this impact your well-being!
For about 4-5 days afterwards, I was very agitated. I kept feeling like I needed to consume something… like I wanted more sweets, or to have a drink, or to have sex. Just… give me something!!! I actually signed up to the national lottery to buy some tickets, although I didn’t buy any.
It was only after this period that I connected it all back to eating the sweets. It was so enjoyable to my body, long deprived of simple sugars, that it made me want to repeat the behaviour and ‘simple rush’.
Perhaps that says more about me than anything else, but do not underestimate how foods like this impact your well-being!
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@Beans on toast Dave - if you suspect you are feeling depressed due to stress, you can check your score on the Beck Depression Inventory:
I used it during university behavioural science research. It is self scored and can give you an insight into what kind of questions you might expect if you see a counsellor.
I used it during university behavioural science research. It is self scored and can give you an insight into what kind of questions you might expect if you see a counsellor.
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Last year I had lost my job, a few weeks later my ex pack her bags and left. So no job, no relationship and my financial outgoing just doubled
I have been going to the gym 3 times a week for over 10 years, doing various martial arts Boxing, Thai Boxing, Kick Boxing, Krav Maga, Kung Fu and MMA throughout those years. I always kept my health and fitness in check.Instead of me falling into a deep depression last year, I kept disciplined with my exercise, gym routine increased as I had more time. Went to Barcelona for 5 days to chill on the beach, de-stress take in some proper sun. This helped me get through the tough times and I kept my health and fitness in check without turning to big pharma.
I noticed some of my friends now are turning to meds for their mental health issues but their lack of exercise, sleep, good diet, alcohol intake and smoking is atrocious. Dealing with those first would help their situation a lot. I mentioned it to a friend and they quickly changed the subject
We all have our inner demons to deal with but fixing those small things first such as diet and exercise not only does wonders for your mental health but for your body too.
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Soldato
I've moved into my new place, I call it 'The Shack' (definitely not a 'Love Shack'). Needs a damn good clean and a paint. Mattress being delivered on Friday so I can actually sleep there. I'd be there now if it wasn't for my son being ill, so I'm working from home in the office I just cleared out. Logistically this is an absolute nightmare.
My wife seems to think she's entitled to some sort of single-persons Universal Credit (sounds like she now wants the state to take care of her instead of me). I'm not a fan of this idea but she genuinely struggles to hold down a job. She's not actually worked full-time for 12 years.
She spoke to me about taking some responsibility for the situation we're in but I'm not really sure what it is I'm meant to be taking responsibility for. I've asked many times what I do that causes problems, but I never get a straight answer.
My wife seems to think she's entitled to some sort of single-persons Universal Credit (sounds like she now wants the state to take care of her instead of me). I'm not a fan of this idea but she genuinely struggles to hold down a job. She's not actually worked full-time for 12 years.
She spoke to me about taking some responsibility for the situation we're in but I'm not really sure what it is I'm meant to be taking responsibility for. I've asked many times what I do that causes problems, but I never get a straight answer.
Last year I had lost my job, a few weeks later my ex pack her bags and left. So no job, no relationship and my financial outgoing just doubled
Instead of me falling into a deep depression last year, I kept disciplined with my exercise, gym routine increased as I had more time. Went to Barcelona for 5 days to chill on the beach, de-stress take in some proper sun. This helped me get through the tough times and I kept my health and fitness in check without turning to big pharma.
I noticed some of my friends now are turning to meds for their mental health issues but their lack of exercise, sleep, good diet, alcohol intake and smoking is atrocious. Dealing with those first would help their situation a lot. I mentioned it to a friend and they quickly changed the subject
We all have our inner demons to deal with but fixing those small things first such as diet and exercise not only does wonders for your mental health but for your body too.
Yep. This is a very sensitive subject as every individual is different and it is absolutely NOT the case that medication is inappropriate for everyone… but there is soooooooo much you can do that is is not medication. Including being self-aware of your own emotions, any repeated unhelpful thought patterns and behaviours (i.e. knowing when to actively put things down and move on to something).
Changing mental health for the better is slow. Just like losing weight, it’s something which cannot be ‘defeated’ by brute force… but it can be managed with ongoing active perseverance over longer periods of time.
Unfortunately, truly bespoke help is somewhat guarded behind professional counselling, but there’s many things you can do like you mention that will make a difference.
For example, here’s a basic one which is so obvious but defies recognition: don’t listen to miserable music, or watch miserable films. These really do subconsciously cloud your emotional responses to everyday things.
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Oh - another story, along the above lines.
My counsellor once reiterated the obvious need for looking after yourself by turning my attention to a hypothetical child.
Imagine a toddler. He’s acting up and grumpy. He’s too excited but it’s bed time. He’s screaming. He’s saying he’s hungry and just generally rampaging that he can’t play with his toys… what a bother.
Children get this way because they’ve lost routine and haven’t been looked after. They’re not fed at a regular time. They don’t have their naps. They haven’t had their allocated slot of play time or exposure to being outside / other children. Their diet is poor. And so on.
The exact same thing applies to stressed, potentially overworked adults. You have to look after yourself like you would look and care after a child.
My counsellor once reiterated the obvious need for looking after yourself by turning my attention to a hypothetical child.
Imagine a toddler. He’s acting up and grumpy. He’s too excited but it’s bed time. He’s screaming. He’s saying he’s hungry and just generally rampaging that he can’t play with his toys… what a bother.
Children get this way because they’ve lost routine and haven’t been looked after. They’re not fed at a regular time. They don’t have their naps. They haven’t had their allocated slot of play time or exposure to being outside / other children. Their diet is poor. And so on.
The exact same thing applies to stressed, potentially overworked adults. You have to look after yourself like you would look and care after a child.
Caporegime
Part of the problem is that we have built a society that revolves around convenience, instant gratification and easy fixes.
Bored? Scroll social media and get hundreds of little dopamine hits.
Depressed? We have a drug for that.
Lonely? The internet is for porn.
Hungry? We have cheap sugary snacks you can fill yourself up with or just order takeaway.
Overweight? Don't worry, its not bad to be overweight and you shouldn't see it as a negative thing. Body positivity.
Unfortunately all of the things that humans need in order to be happy and healthy are not the easy things to do. Its hard to motivate yourself to exercise, cook good food, resist temptation and not fill every bored moment with instantly available stimulus. Unfortunately its the only long term way to lead a better and happier life.
It has to be baby steps but all I can recommend is trying to find a sport or activity that motivates you to exercise. I hate exercise for the sake of it but I love sport. It can do some much for peoples lives. You have a passion that fills your time. You make friends who enjoy the same things. You have a motivation to live a healthier lifestyle.
People need to stop seeing exercise as a chore and see exercise as a beneficial side effect of doing something they enjoy. Make me go to the gym and I want to blow my brains out. Send me to the climbing wall to climb and see friends and I love it. I love getting out on my bike and seeing the beautiful countryside we have in this country.
Bored? Scroll social media and get hundreds of little dopamine hits.
Depressed? We have a drug for that.
Lonely? The internet is for porn.
Hungry? We have cheap sugary snacks you can fill yourself up with or just order takeaway.
Overweight? Don't worry, its not bad to be overweight and you shouldn't see it as a negative thing. Body positivity.
Unfortunately all of the things that humans need in order to be happy and healthy are not the easy things to do. Its hard to motivate yourself to exercise, cook good food, resist temptation and not fill every bored moment with instantly available stimulus. Unfortunately its the only long term way to lead a better and happier life.
It has to be baby steps but all I can recommend is trying to find a sport or activity that motivates you to exercise. I hate exercise for the sake of it but I love sport. It can do some much for peoples lives. You have a passion that fills your time. You make friends who enjoy the same things. You have a motivation to live a healthier lifestyle.
People need to stop seeing exercise as a chore and see exercise as a beneficial side effect of doing something they enjoy. Make me go to the gym and I want to blow my brains out. Send me to the climbing wall to climb and see friends and I love it. I love getting out on my bike and seeing the beautiful countryside we have in this country.
Caporegime
Its the great irony isn't it. I do wonder how people will manage when AI truly does take away vast swathes of the job market and in theory people have much more spare time.
Soldato
Don't forget podcasts (and audiobooks to a degree) that get millions of listens that are often not hosted by experts, not vetted or substantiated by qualified professionals, and offer a very simplistic and naive view of the world.
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Soldato
- Joined
- 22 Nov 2007
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What are some exampels of miserable music?