**The Mental Health Thread**

[Nitefly]

I can relate to this 100%, i could feel this coming for a few days now, (Nothing really wrong, but just a feeling of "meh") but yesterday afternoon, I just spiraled into depression, then the realization of having depression again made me feel worse. But worse than any of that is being like this around my kids and wife.

I’m not 100% sure if you’re talking about guilt, but it’s important to recognise the ‘self-sabotaging’ with this - not that anything is happening consciously!

It’s understandable to feel guilty and distressed when you’re in an environment where you pine feeling ‘positive’ about your situation and towards those that care for you, but this is needlessly stacking difficult emotions on top of difficult emotions… in a sort of ‘self-catastrophising’ way.

It’s easier said than done but you have to consciously ‘drop’ emotions of ‘I feel bad that I don’t feel happy’. It adds needless complexity and weight to circumstances and only acts to ‘reinforce a story’ that ‘my situation is tragic’.

Consciously choosing to allow these emotions to dissipate (yes that is a thing) helps break down repeating frantic thought patterns and catastrophising.

So I hereby instruct / command you to let that **** go

 

[Fluffybob]

Ive seen a few people recommend Andy's Man club and it does sound like something that could help me but unfortunatly it seems to be mainly based in the north, does anybody know of something similar for people down in the south of the country. Ive done CBT which i was refered to by the doctor, which did help more than i thought it would but now that has finished, when i am feeling low i dont really know where to turn to.

Full list of clubs are here mate. https://andysmanclub.co.uk/full-club-lists/ They also have online sessions that you can join as well

 

[khevolution]

It’s worth contacting mind they usually have details of local groups and meet ups in your area.

Contact us | Mind

For mental health support, call us on 0300 123 3393. For everything else, email us on [email protected] or call 0208 215 2243.

www.mind.org.uk

Thanks for the link, it is little things like this, that nobody tells you about, unfortunatly once again my nearest "center" is about an hours drive away

 

[The_Arbiter]

I'm done. Had enough now, endlessly wasting time in the abyss. Banging headache from what should be a reasonably good day, i'm not even at work today. Big thanks to @Armageus for calling it out. I've got a GP appointment in two weeks which i guess i'll wait for. The appointment is a follow up for something else non MH related, but he said he was concerned with my MH anyway. I just feel like i won't be any further forward after it, hopefully i'm wrong.

 

[MOOGLEYS]

Thanks for the link, it is little things like this, that nobody tells you about, unfortunatly once again my nearest "center" is about an hours drive away

They can usually do things over the phone or by email. It's worth giving them a call to find out.

 

[MOOGLEYS]

Big Anxiety rush for me today just feel very pointless and fed up of it all. Came on suddenly watching Masterchef of all things.

I really hate the unpredictive nature of this damn illness, I really wish it would just do one..

Hope everyone else is having a as best a weekend as possible.

 

[secretspy]

Previously contacted NHS talking therapies and had an initial call with them back in April. Not sure if anyone else has had any success with them?
am now on a waiting list and in the meantime I'm signed up for a stress webinar that starts next Monday evening for 5 weeks. after the last session I'll receive another call to see how im feeling and if/how i want to proceed. They mentioned about having one 2 one therapy over video and at first I said I guess I could give it a go but now I'm thinking I would prefer face to face. It felt a bit of a relief to go through some things on the initial call though and have someone say that I am dealing with a lot on my own.
Although not sure why but this afternoon I've just felt so anxious again like everything that I'm trying to deal with is just hitting me all at once.

I know I do need to get my stress levels right down. I want to get back into fitness and better eating habits but I just don't know where to start. I'm still recovering from this injury from last year, which had been going ok but something has flared it up again so today I could only manage 13 mins of walking before I was in agony again.
Just feeling a bit overwhelmed I guess

 

[moon man]

I didn't find the initial talking therapy's very useful it was basically talking through a sheet/ leaflet called managing your worries or similar.
The girl on the other end of the phone wouldn't deviate from what the sheet said, it may be useful to others.
Example having worry time where you don't worry all day but have a certain slot where you worry say 5.30 pm , or writing down worries and dealing with them crossing them off your list.as they are dealt wi

 

[redeye]

Previously contacted NHS talking therapies and had an initial call with them back in April. Not sure if anyone else has had any success with them?
am now on a waiting list and in the meantime I'm signed up for a stress webinar that starts next Monday evening for 5 weeks. after the last session I'll receive another call to see how im feeling and if/how i want to proceed. They mentioned about having one 2 one therapy over video and at first I said I guess I could give it a go but now I'm thinking I would prefer face to face. It felt a bit of a relief to go through some things on the initial call though and have someone say that I am dealing with a lot on my own.
Although not sure why but this afternoon I've just felt so anxious again like everything that I'm trying to deal with is just hitting me all at once.

I know I do need to get my stress levels right down. I want to get back into fitness and better eating habits but I just don't know where to start. I'm still recovering from this injury from last year, which had been going ok but something has flared it up again so today I could only manage 13 mins of walking before I was in agony again.
Just feeling a bit overwhelmed I guess

I was told by my doctors a few days after my first hospital visit last year to get in touch with Talking Therapies. Was very much a case of him saying this won't find answers to things but it may help you cope with it better, and access is suprisingly quick.
I got in touch and had a 45min call with them within 2 weeks. Got graded in terms of anxiety level (apparently a 7-8 out of 10) and then was recommended CBT and put on the "silvercloud" online course. This took about 5 weeks with weekly written check ins with and a call again at the end. It really is about coping.. writing down your worries, keeping a diary, meditation (yes.. it works), facing what's going on and why etc.

I have to say, in combination with beta blockers, it really did have an impact and helped me cope. By the end of it I was certainly functioning again day to day and able to work with no issues etc. I came off the beta blockers about 2 months later.. had a bit of a rough time. Then things slowly improved.
By Christmas, aside from side being worn out all the time I was effectively back to normal. New year came and it all came crashing down. By that point I'd had more than enough so since February I have been seeing a Therapist once a week (that I pay for). That's made a massive difference but not just by itself, in combination with me doing a LOT. Research, trying diferent things, obviously talking about everything in my life and finding the various triggers that has all lead up to this.

My therapist said the same thing about CBT that most professionals say, it can help manage symptoms but it won't get to the cause of them or help to heal.

I've found that when I feel relatively normal for a few weeks I don't do anything.. it's literally, oh thank god I'm back to normal for good. Then after a few weeks it'll come back. What I've started to learn is even when I am feeling relatively good.. I've got to keep at it with all the things I have learned. The nervous system when it's out of step of your physical body is a powerful and incredibly annoying / stupid thing.

 

[valve90210]

I didn't find the initial talking therapy's very useful it was basically talking through a sheet/ leaflet called managing your worries or similar.
The girl on the other end of the phone wouldn't deviate from what the sheet said, it may be useful to others.
Example having worry time where you don't worry all day but have a certain slot where you worry say 5.30 pm , or writing down worries and dealing with them crossing them off your list.as they are dealt wi

Unfortunately, a good few providers of mental health support work in much the same way, I experienced this when my son was struggling too. They do it for the simple reason that it's can be quick and effective in some circumstances, and it can give measurable outcomes which they can use to demonstrate the effectiveness of the service....which really helps for funding etc!

Often they will start by using an assessment form (PHQ9, GAD7 or CORE10 are all often used) to get a measure of where you are at the start. A few sessions of going through things like having a set time to address worries etc, and for simple cases or where someone has a very specific thing which is bothering them, it can be effective. After 6 sessions, another assessment form and boom, it shows some improvement, hoorah, a positive outcome for the service, goodbye to the client and that's that.

In my own personal experience, longer term counselling would be my preferred option. I've been working with my counsellor for 6 years now and it has truly been life changing, so much so that I have actually trained and a hairsbreadth from qualifying as a counsellor myself to be able to give back to others what I have gained from counselling.

My advice for anyone would be to look around in your local area, you might very well find an organisation offering low cost counselling, there are an awful lot of them out there! I had to do a placement as part of my training the agency I'm working for offer sessions from £20 a session, the previous place I worked for offered them from £10 a session. It might not always be easy to find them but they are out there!

 

[secretspy]

I might do a bit more searching for a local therapist. The ones I previously found were around £70 upwards. I believe there is a therapist in the same building where I work but I'm not sure if she's a child psychologist as I've only ever seen children waiting to go in.

I had counselling back in 2011 before my dad passed away and then again in 2013 and it did help so it's definitely something I want to try again. Coincidentally when I was younger, still in secondary school, I wanted to get into psychology etc but I think I just doubted myself too much to pursue it any further.

Its difficult because, without going into details, there are traumas that I won't ever fully get over but they tend to often get triggered when I'm talking to my mum. Especially recently. (Which she is completely oblivious to/in denial about)

a colleague revealed today that she's pregnant and I'm happy for her but internally I was fighting back the tears because I want to be a mum and every day feels like I'm getting further and further away from that happening and then I feel like I've left myself down through past decisions and I go through the whole "if only I'd done this differently" thought process :/

 

[valve90210]

I might do a bit more searching for a local therapist. The ones I previously found were around £70 upwards. I believe there is a therapist in the same building where I work but I'm not sure if she's a child psychologist as I've only ever seen children waiting to go in.

I had counselling back in 2011 before my dad passed away and then again in 2013 and it did help so it's definitely something I want to try again. Coincidentally when I was younger, still in secondary school, I wanted to get into psychology etc but I think I just doubted myself too much to pursue it any further.

Its difficult because, without going into details, there are traumas that I won't ever fully get over but they tend to often get triggered when I'm talking to my mum. Especially recently. (Which she is completely oblivious to/in denial about)

a colleague revealed today that she's pregnant and I'm happy for her but internally I was fighting back the tears because I want to be a mum and every day feels like I'm getting further and further away from that happening and then I feel like I've left myself down through past decisions and I go through the whole "if only I'd done this differently" thought process :/

Check out the counselling directory It's a great way to find a therapist and you canfilter search results by lots of different criteria and keywords etc.

I think that looking back on our past decisions and choices and wondering 'what if', is a very common experience, I know I have certainly spent a lot of my time doing so. I have found that counselling has helped me as it's helped me see that I had my reasons at the time and they were valid and I was doing what I needed back then. We can spend our lives beating ourselves up about our past but we can do nothing about it. It's helpful to be able to come to terms with that and it frees us up to look to the future and our current needs.

Counselling won't make life perfect, nor will it solve problems for us but it can help us organise our thoughts and allow us begin to process them so they sit better with us and don't cause so much distress.

 

[[FnG]magnolia]

Check out the counselling directory It's a great way to find a therapist and you canfilter search results by lots of different criteria and keywords etc.

I think that looking back on our past decisions and choices and wondering 'what if', is a very common experience, I know I have certainly spent a lot of my time doing so. I have found that counselling has helped me as it's helped me see that I had my reasons at the time and they were valid and I was doing what I needed back then. We can spend our lives beating ourselves up about our past but we can do nothing about it. It's helpful to be able to come to terms with that and it frees us up to look to the future and our current needs.

Counselling won't make life perfect, nor will it solve problems for us but it can help us organise our thoughts and allow us begin to process them so they sit better with us and don't cause so much distress.

"what's past is prologue; what to come, in yours and my discharge."

Shakey was good with words but I prefer yours.

Chin up, team

 

[ForTheQuestions]

I wouldn't normally ask for help/advice, but I feel like I'm losing/lost the battle.

Just a a little bit of info, I have depression, I'm 32 and I've been a recluse for about 10 years, I have no friends, online or real life, have no job and have absolutely nothing to look forward to or be happy about.

I still live at home and explaining to my parents about what I feel I like, they're trying to help but don't know what to do.

I've been to doctors and I'm on medication about 2 years and makes no difference (I've been on 3 different meds), I've been for CTB and one-on-one talking therapy, but it hasn't made any difference.

I don't find joy in anything I do, and just feel like everything is pointless and won't ever get better. I just don't know what to do.

So I asking if anyone else here has any ideas what I could try, as it feels like I'm getting towards the end.

 

[secretspy]

I wouldn't normally ask for help/advice, but I feel like I'm losing/lost the battle.

Just a a little bit of info, I have depression, I'm 32 and I've been a recluse for about 10 years, I have no friends, online or real life, have no job and have absolutely nothing to look forward to or be happy about.

I still live at home and explaining to my parents about what I feel I like, they're trying to help but don't know what to do.

I've been to doctors and I'm on medication about 2 years and makes no difference (3 different meds), I've been for CTB and one-on-one talking therapy, but it hasn't made any difference.

I don't find joy in anything I do, and just feel like everything thing is pointless and won't ever get better. I just don't know what to do.

So I asking if anyone else here has any ideas what I could try, as it feels like I'm getting towards the end.

Are you still on medication currently? When was the last time you saw the doctor as it could be the meds need changing again. I've heard a few people say in the past that the meds they were on made them feel "numb" but perhaps its also the dosage they need to look at.

are you isolating yourself for a particular reason I.e. agoraphobia or is it just something that's happened over time? Maybe try to find something to do that gets you out of the house even if it's just a nice walk somewhere. Is there anything you used to enjoy doing in the past?

Some might think it odd but you could also try listening to binaural beats for depression.

 

[Ayahuasca]

I wouldn't normally ask for help/advice, but I feel like I'm losing/lost the battle.

Just a a little bit of info, I have depression, I'm 32 and I've been a recluse for about 10 years, I have no friends, online or real life, have no job and have absolutely nothing to look forward to or be happy about.

I still live at home and explaining to my parents about what I feel I like, they're trying to help but don't know what to do.

I've been to doctors and I'm on medication about 2 years and makes no difference (I've been on 3 different meds), I've been for CTB and one-on-one talking therapy, but it hasn't made any difference.

I don't find joy in anything I do, and just feel like everything is pointless and won't ever get better. I just don't know what to do.

So I asking if anyone else here has any ideas what I could try, as it feels like I'm getting towards the end.

Have you tried different medications?

Before you were a recluse, how did you get on? As in did you turn 22 and this all suddenly hit or do you think it was a buildup from your life before then?

 

[ForTheQuestions]

Are you still on medication currently? When was the last time you saw the doctor as it could be the meds need changing again. I've heard a few people say in the past that the meds they were on made them feel "numb" but perhaps its also the dosage they need to look at.

are you isolating yourself for a particular reason I.e. agoraphobia or is it just something that's happened over time? Maybe try to find something to do that gets you out of the house even if it's just a nice walk somewhere. Is there anything you used to enjoy doing in the past?

Some might think it odd but you could also try listening to binaural beats for depression.

I'm still taking the medication and I'm currently waiting to get into the doctor's (should be wednesday) but I don't hold much hope as everytime I've been before he just suggests upping my meds which just make me feel like a zombie.

As for the isolation it just something that happened over time, there isn't any particular reason why I stopped going out, I just did. I did recently go for a walk, but everything just feels like I'm on "autopilot"/"light are on, but no one's home" I don't take anything in.

And tbh I can't even remember the last time I enjoyed doing anything.

I appreciate your reply.

 

[ForTheQuestions]

Have you tried different medications?

Before you were a recluse, how did you get on? As in did you turn 22 and this all suddenly hit or do you think it was a buildup from your life before then?

Yes I've been on 3 different meds, as for the reclusiveness it's more that it just build up over time. It wasn't any reason, it's I just stopped going out and then after awhile that just became the norm.

 

[secretspy]

I'm still taking the medication and I'm currently waiting to get into the doctor's (should be wednesday) but I don't hold much hope as everytime I've been before he just suggests upping my meds which just make me feel like a zombie.

As for the isolation it just something that happened over time, there isn't any particular reason why I stopped going out, I just did. I did recently go for a walk, but everything just feels like I'm on "autopilot"/"light are on, but no one's home" I don't take anything in.

And tbh I can't even remember the last time I enjoyed doing anything.

I appreciate your reply.

Can you maybe see a different doctor? It took me a while to find a doctor at my old surgery who seemed to genuinely want to help with things .
Perhaps your dosage is wrong and that's causing you to feel like you're on autopilot

 

[arc@css]

Previously contacted NHS talking therapies and had an initial call with them back in April. Not sure if anyone else has had any success with them?
am now on a waiting list and in the meantime I'm signed up for a stress webinar that starts next Monday evening for 5 weeks. after the last session I'll receive another call to see how im feeling and if/how i want to proceed. They mentioned about having one 2 one therapy over video and at first I said I guess I could give it a go but now I'm thinking I would prefer face to face. It felt a bit of a relief to go through some things on the initial call though and have someone say that I am dealing with a lot on my own.
Although not sure why but this afternoon I've just felt so anxious again like everything that I'm trying to deal with is just hitting me all at once.

I know I do need to get my stress levels right down. I want to get back into fitness and better eating habits but I just don't know where to start. I'm still recovering from this injury from last year, which had been going ok but something has flared it up again so today I could only manage 13 mins of walking before I was in agony again.
Just feeling a bit overwhelmed I guess

I used the NHS 'time to talk' service back around 10 years ago, and found it helpful.
I seem to recall that I was given a light homework task each week, though it's hard to remember the finer details about it.
Probably a mixture of questions and a self-reflective diary of some sort.

I attended my appointments in person, but this was pre-covid times.