So how is everyone today? After grieving a little bit (worst still to come) i'm not in such an emotional mess and at terms it's happening and there is nothing I can do about it, (Mum is dying of cancer, Posted earlier in the thread) for the last 10 years Anxiety and Depression has ruined my life , No friends, No family except parents, No job prospects, No education after school, Ruined my Teeth by not looking after myself with a bad diet and put on some weight, Never leave the house because I feel there is nothing to do.
I will have to go to the doctors soon to review a tablet i'm on, I am going to ask him to do a blood test with Thyroid levels, Vitamin levels etc, Is there anything else I should ask him?
After hearing the news about my mum and seeing her decline everyday she wanted me to go to college, I am 26 is it a good idea?, I don't want to be stacking shelves the rest of my life, I am thinking about it not sure which courses to look at as I feel like i'm not interested in anything probably because I have no experience in doing anything.
(Grim post but that's the story of the last 10 years of my life)
My dad died in early 2016 due to cancer, went from fine to dead in about 3 months. My mum and I cared for him at home during that time where he eventually died and that was quite the experience.
I'm 33 this year. Technically still live with my mum and don't keep much company. I wouldn't say I have been as extreme as yourself, but in terms of family, friends and career I have been pretty limited on that front. I have suffered from depression and it's been an excuse/crutch for many years that has made what I expect to be the basics of life pretty difficult. Thinking back, a lot of it was self-inflicted. The underlying depression didn't help, but I could have done better.
But this is where hindsight is a wonderful thing. I've been working on myself for some years, slowly but surely taking 1 step forward but eventually taking 10 back. It's been a vicious cycle where I have pushed myself, been happy in a relationship but eventually it's taken it's toll. I could be all cliché about my dad dying and life changing... not quite that easy, but I tell you what it put things in perspective. My dad had a disappointing life for the most part, especially in the later years, he suffered and the only thing he left behind that was any sort of achievement was me.
So I've taken that and apply that to my life, what am I leaving behind, what's my legacy and I'm making sure my dads efforts weren't for nothing, that I do him proud. Doesn't mean life changed overnight, but my attitude did.
26 is still very young, you have a good opportunity to make any changes you like. Get yourself to a college open day later in the year and see what's on offer. There's formal courses, vocational opportunities, see what floats your boat. You won't be the only 26 year old and it'll be a great way to not only find something more fulfilling in life, you should make some friends along the way.
As for weight and teeth... Exercise really does help depression, this has been a huge boost for me. If you want an excuse to go out, go running or cycling! Running is less investment. I've always cycled and that always helped me but in October I started running. I went from not being able to do a couple miles without walking to doing a 6 running events up until 31st Dec and next weekend I'm running a half marathon. I've not even been running 6 months. It's something you have to do for yourself. Teeth can be fixed also, if it's something that really bothers you there's things that can be done. Sure it'll cost, but it's something to work for.
Don't overload yourself, but start something and something for you. If you can't, do it for your mum or in spite of Cancer. It's not gonna be easy when the time comes and you need to be ready to do right by her and your family, your father will need plenty of support. But doesn't get lost in all that, make sure you do things for yourself and make something positive out of a horrible situation, otherwise what's the point?
