**The Mental Health Thread**
- Thread starter Gabbatek
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- mental health
Caporegime
Lots of people say lots of things, doesn’t make it the be all and end all to how you should approach life.
I’m not saying you’re making it all up but you’ve got a weird way of going about it all. You seem to find it amusing signing up under about 5 accounts to post about online dating.
I’m not saying you’re making it all up but you’ve got a weird way of going about it all. You seem to find it amusing signing up under about 5 accounts to post about online dating.
I think you've kind of confirmed a second account there. You might want to use your Xclockerx account or contact an admin if you can't log onto it as multiple accounts are frowned upon.
Anyway hope you get the anxiety sorted, exercise can really help.
Anyway hope you get the anxiety sorted, exercise can really help.
You need to request an IP ban from this website for your own benefit. You are posting like someone on the fringes of a breakdown. I worked in mental health for a decade, and it's very evident in your replies and posting habits. That's the best advice you're likely to get.
Just heard the words "we need to take a break" from my girlfriend. Been together since we were teens for nearly 10 years, we live together, work together in our own business (which she will be taking with her) and care for each others conditions.
We have never been with anyone else and now she is looking to explore her life without me - I literally feel like I have lost a limb.
Whats worse is that our circle of friends, are all with her -I feel so alone.
Yes it might work out again but I really do not see it happening.
To those of you in relationships who think this will never happen to you - I was once like you. My advice, don't take them for granted as they may not always be there.
We have never been with anyone else and now she is looking to explore her life without me - I literally feel like I have lost a limb.
Whats worse is that our circle of friends, are all with her -I feel so alone.
Yes it might work out again but I really do not see it happening.
To those of you in relationships who think this will never happen to you - I was once like you. My advice, don't take them for granted as they may not always be there.
So many others believe the answer is to be with someone else. Its not, god knows it can help, but unless you can be happy with yourself, you will always struggle in a relationship and it puts an incredible burden on the other person which will slowly wear them down. Theres a book called "Way of the Wizard" its really worth a read.
Soldato
Agree with this massively. Being in a place in life where you are ok with a partner, but not if you're alone, is a precarious version of being healthy. If you can invest time and effort into developing yourself and your ability to care for yourself, it will make you resilient to all kinds of change in life. And that's when you're able to have a relationship where you add to each others' lives and support each other in growth. I've had dependent and codependent relationships and they never lasted.
Soldato
Just heard the words "we need to take a break" from my girlfriend. Been together since we were teens for nearly 10 years, we live together, work together in our own business (which she will be taking with her) and care for each others conditions.
We have never been with anyone else and now she is looking to explore her life without me - I literally feel like I have lost a limb.
Whats worse is that our circle of friends, are all with her -I feel so alone.
Yes it might work out again but I really do not see it happening.
To those of you in relationships who think this will never happen to you - I was once like you. My advice, don't take them for granted as they may not always be there.
I've been with my wife since we were 15, we're now 37. I know how you feel and I nearly recently lost her due to an ectopic pregnancy. having her say "if I don't make it, make sure the kids are happy!" will haunt me.
Sometimes people grow together, sometimes apart, regardless of how much effort you put in.
If you have a business together, it stays with you both. I know lots of separated couples that still run businesses together, it's not tied to your relationship.
Same with friends. Friends only take sides when they are made too. If they are your friends they'll stay your friends.
If you don't see it working out, why not? You need an honest conversation with her, if you can't do it face to face due to the emotions it's often better to do it via letter. You can more easily regulate what you're trying to say.
Without knowing your conditions or how much you put on each other it's hard to really give advice, but a break isn't always an end, sometimes it's a reminder to changing direction and start on another path that's more enjoyable for you both.
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Can’t agree with this more, it all begins with you and your ability to at least like yourself if not love yourself for who you are, once you can achieve this you can then seek a healthy relationship.
People who are co-dependent often don’t even realise it, but if you read through the following questions it may give you an indication: http://www.coda-uk.org/?page=about-co-dependency
She's most likely found someone else. Time to find a lawyer, knuckle under, get yourself organized, stay as busy as humanly possible, cut your losses and move on. Next year you wont even think about it. Well I should say a year after the divorce finalizes. The divorce itself will be the most stressful period of your life.
Soldato
Divorcee by any chance?
I find divorcees some of the most negative and depressing people on the planet, all doom and gloom in regard to relationships.
However, I don't think divorce is going to be an issue between boyfriend and girlfriend if I am honest.
You've no idea why she wants a break so why don't you stop chatting **** and putting a bigger downer on it for him. There's no need to add to his worries. I've known people go on breaks and work it out, other's haven't. It's all about attitude, approach and dedication.
Don
Personally this tends to make me more depressed.
May help others though.Just something positive, my mental health still is not great, but I have taken 5 days off alcohol, tonight is my first glass of wine since last Saturday night (admittedly I did drink a lot that night) and I did have to battle through the pull to drink all week. Just been swimming, got home and poured a glass of wine from the fridge, it's actually a lot more enjoyable and is going down much slower than it has in a long while.
Note: My aim here is not to come off alcohol completely, just to drop it back down from (up to) a bottle of wine a night, to just drinking at weekends or special occasions so for me it is a big win.
Man of Honour
Anxiety is through the roof at the moment and I have no idea why.
On paper everything is better than it's ever been. Things are good at home, I'm in a new job earning more money than I ever thought I could earn, my own business is taking off with people interesting in hiring me for training/talks which is where I want to go with my career. Basically all the things that should make me extremely happy and excited.
But I'm just a wreck at the moment. I was in the fish and chip shop last night and I was starting to get anxious and worry about what I'll say when he hands me my food. How bloody ridiculous is that?
When I'm at home working on my site or at work, I can feel mini panic attacks starting to build up and I just have to get up and walk around until they pass.
For once I wasn't worrying about my health, but of course because of the effects of anxiety I am, so that's compounded that.
As usual, don't really have any one to talk to about it so it's good just to vent on here
On paper everything is better than it's ever been. Things are good at home, I'm in a new job earning more money than I ever thought I could earn, my own business is taking off with people interesting in hiring me for training/talks which is where I want to go with my career. Basically all the things that should make me extremely happy and excited.
But I'm just a wreck at the moment. I was in the fish and chip shop last night and I was starting to get anxious and worry about what I'll say when he hands me my food. How bloody ridiculous is that?
When I'm at home working on my site or at work, I can feel mini panic attacks starting to build up and I just have to get up and walk around until they pass.
For once I wasn't worrying about my health, but of course because of the effects of anxiety I am, so that's compounded that.
As usual, don't really have any one to talk to about it so it's good just to vent on here
I'm currently reading a very good book on Depression & Anxiety - which challenges our conventional wisdom on what it is, what causes it and how to treat it
I can heartily recommend it
Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions
I can heartily recommend it
Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions
Soldato
Spent hours last night laying awake with demon voices shouting at me across the room.
What a fun condition this is. Sat at work still hearing weird things with the added bonus of being knackered.
The meds just aren't doing enough.
What a fun condition this is. Sat at work still hearing weird things with the added bonus of being knackered.
The meds just aren't doing enough.