**The Mental Health Thread**

singularity said:
Sorry to burden you guys with this,

But I need to get it of my chest.

I've done all I can in life, family money, its all fine.

But now literally no one gives a **** about me, my parents are elderly and very frail, I literally have no one to turn to, no friends, my sibling is a self centred snob.

So I've come to the conclusion that it must be me, I am unpalatable to other people.

I wondering why I bother to live anymore, I have thought like this for some time. I think if I had a gun I would just blow my brains out.

I literally see no escape from the trap I am in, although in reality I'm in a good place, I don't have the self esteem to be able to live with a lack of support and respect from others.
Work is good, for the first time I would rather be at work than at home.
But I see that as awful.

Edited to add, I really have no idea how to get myself out of this, I realise no one on here can help but it's good to write down what I am feeling.
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We are computer "types", so logic has a part.

Suicide (see I used the word) is not OK. It's way worse than quitting. It's putting our **** on to others.

If I ask'd you, you could already tell me why not, but here's a few starters.

Parents. Their feelings and how much it would hurt them, which is way more than you know. No parent should bury a child.

Parents. You can't help them just now but might hopefully be able to in one or more future days. Alternative is leave them to idiot sibling (and let him/her get the ******* inheritence which isnt deserved).

You don't enjoy life, but you get through the days. So life is a chore but hopefully has it's moments. There may/will be more moments once you get through today.

Cliche. "you only live once". NOPE! You only die once. You live every day! Get through the bad days somehow. Enjoy the good ones (be honest, they may be rare but they do exist). Tomorrow can hardly be worse?
 
Hello all

Just thought I'd post here to see if I can get some help or whatever.

Been suffering from depression for many years now and I got diagonised with borderline personality disorder a few years ago.

Anyway long story short I was seeing a girl for about 6 months and until recently it was going so good, but she recently told me that everything is going too fast and she wants to slow it down, but there is me who falls to quickly and deeply getting worried and then I am on her case constantly being obsessive etc.. I do love her and she says she loves me but I have ultimately pushed her away..
Now she has ended it and said she wants to see how we are as friends first, but the thing is we are still doing the same stuff as we were when when was together, kissing, cuddling, sex etc... but it mostly on her terms. This is confusing the hell out of me and lately she is up and down like a yo-yo, one minute she wanna know the next she don't. Hot and cold.
She does have her own stuff to deal with right now she recently moved back to her mum and dads because her ex was abusive and hit her etc and she has moved out of her flat to get away from him, she has a daughter at 3 years old so there isn't any stability there and I think that maybe why, she is getting a lot of stress lately.

Anyway, because of my own issues and I probably ultimately pushed her to this because of my issues I am feeling extremely low again and having suicidal thoughts. (not just because of her but my depression in general, this has just made it worse) I really do love her and I know it's only been 6 months but still.. I've never met anyone who has made me feel like she has, the communication, how we get on, sex life all of it is amazing.

I don't really have anyone else to talk to about this and I don't know what else to do, I try and tell her that I'm here for her but I dunno what else to do... maybe I should just walk away because it's hurting me too much to keep chasing her. But it's so hard to walk away knowing how I feel, I just keep sobbing daily, I may sound pathetic but I feel a lot more emotions than people without mental health issues and it's really the worst feeling in this world this pain.

Thanks for reading.
 
Does anyone else feel like they're stuck in their own head sometimes?

I know what I need to do to help myself but sometimes I'm my own worst enemy :/ :(
 
secretspy said:
Does anyone else feel like they're stuck in their own head sometimes?

I know what I need to do to help myself but sometimes I'm my own worst enemy :/ :(
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All thoughts and no action for days at a time? Going round and round worrying rather than doing something? Yep...

Wasn't going to post here but after a very hot-headed day at work, I had to leave early as my girlfriend locked herself out. Ended up losing my temper and punching a desk a few times. Now injured and probably can't work/attend work barbecue tomorrow.

Like barbecues? Don't be a chump like me. Learn to work through your emotions.

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I’m getting some pretty intense hot flashes sweating with my Anxiety/depression at the moment. They seem to come on when I’m feeling anxious which is happening on and off all day at the moment.
My GP thinks my fistula small infection is responsible for my anxiety and I have been on Flagyl antibiotics for the best part of 8 weeks , I have felt better on them apart from the last couple of days which have been a bit horrid. I’m due to stop them tomorrow so who knows what will happen. My Surgeon thinks it’s Anxiety and nothing to do with the infection as it’s too small and contained but agrees something needs doing. My head people think it’s the steroids I’m slowly reducing that could be causing the Anxiety or even the combination of drugs I’m taking.

It’s all good fun on the Anxiety/Depression rollercoaster especially when every specialist has a different answer..... lol
 
Hey not been keeping up with the thread but what sorted my head out is knowing yourself.


What you think of the world and what you think the world thinks of you is pretty much all you have to go on in life.

The later is never as bad as you think it is.


Your worst most embarrassing fear, worst nightmare is an off handed chuckle to another.

Remeber just because it seems life endingly important doesn't mean it is
 
It's probably both. I often see family while I'm burnt out and feel "I don't have time for this". I don't see them often and I've got lots of nephews and nieces so end up feeling pressured to visit. But after a good vent alongside some ordinary family time (dinner, TV, stupid jokes, being a dork with my nephews) I feel much better. It's like I share my problems but also realise that life goes on and people aren't nearly as high strung as me :p

And on that note, I'm a wreck at the moment. Got a week off work starting tomorrow because I need to decompress. I want to catch up on all the things stressing me out - DIY, gardening, tidying my house and new kitchen. Instead I'm fully booked with family trips. I'm definitely at breaking point because I've been itching for a fight all day. Went to my mum's to set up her new PC and she sent me away because I'm too stressed. I'm sure the heat isn't helping.

Let's hope the week off work does help.
 
Take up FPV.
Not being totally facetious mate, I have heard countless stories of it helping people; quite a few of the main youtubers in the hobby openly talk of their mental health problems. You do sound like a prime candidate for a dose of it.
 
LuckyBenski said:
All thoughts and no action for days at a time? Going round and round worrying rather than doing something? Yep...

Wasn't going to post here but after a very hot-headed day at work, I had to leave early as my girlfriend locked herself out. Ended up losing my temper and punching a desk a few times. Now injured and probably can't work/attend work barbecue tomorrow.

Like barbecues? Don't be a chump like me. Learn to work through your emotions.
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Try punching a solid brick wall and snapping 2 of the outside bones in your hand clean in two. Been there and done that, 6 weeks off work in a cast. over a decade later it still aches as it healed with the outside bone slightly twisted, when I type the little finger randomly sticks up in the air like the images you see of people using teacups. Oh, and things like holding steering wheels, my little finger overlaps the ring finger. That was one of the last times I really did it other than a door in the house twice.

I moved on to other ways of self harm instead :(
 
I’m currently weaning off my Escitalopram as the DR thinks it was not working and I might have had serotonin syndrome. It was bad enough on them but coming off has been a new level of horrid my moods are all over the place and I have a constant horrid feeling and mega sweats and hot flushes. I have to start a different med at a low dose too soo looking forward to the startup effects of that too unless by miracle it helps. Had to have a few Diazepams to stop my head going bang.....

What’s weird is when I was on antibiotics for 6 weeks I felt fine mentally which confuses the DR. I’m tempted to just come off them completely and see if I’m better without. If it carries on I think I will need a trip to hospital to see a specialist rather than trying other meds.

All good fun...... Blehhhh
 
I've suffered with anxiety and panic for ages (over 10 years on and off). I may have mentioned it in this thread but here's a little recap on my progression. My anxiety got so bad I couldn't get out of bed, I struggled to walk a few metres without dropping to my knees from exhaustion. I had a resting heartbeat of 140. My doctor had me on 9 tablets a day (beta blockers, depression tabs and diazepam). Now after many therapy sessions, both solo and group I am finally on the road to somewhat normal.

I am down to 2 tablets a day now, I don't worry as much about things I really shouldn't be worring about. It's also been over a month since my last anxiety attack.

The biggest thing what helped me overcome the mess I was in was talking to people about my anxiety.

Sorry if this post doesnt make any sense but I just wanted to let people know that there is a light at the end and things do get better.
 
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