The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

Megahurtz400 said:
Yeah deffo, but when i'm single, I really miss the gay things, like having someone to text and someone to just chill with and do nothing :o

[IMGhttp://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/008/910/ultra-gay.png[/IMG]

Example, I well fancy going to the zoo with an attractive lady, cause it's always a nice day but I feel like it's too much of a coupley thing to do, i'm clueless :confused:

Might just make Miniclip online pool my new mistress :p


Also, we both signed up nearly 5 years ago o.O
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I know what you mean, you can't do the same stuff when you're single. Sucks :(

5 years?! Oh wow, now I feel old.
 
Lightnix said:
Well, I'm sad because a girl that I got along with really well, has not talked or replied to me for a little over two weeks now. Worse yet, I saw her earlier today, and rather than doing something socially normal, I just kind of glared at her, sat down at a nearby table and ate my lunch. I know, "man up and smash something else," "that doesn't even count as a relationship", blah, blah, I just sort of wanted to vent a little bit.
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Has she got a boyfriend? Maybe the guilt took over, and she decided to avoid you to prevent anything happening. Just a possibility.

But I wouldn't have done the stare, it would have been probably better if you didn't look at her at all, and played it cool. Or the other option was to sit down and have a casual chat, but the fact she hasn't been replying to you, that may not have been the best idea. There's something you don't know!
 
Just split up with my girlfriend of 6 years (been together since we were 14). Hurts, man.

Completely my fault as well. She was the most amazing, caring girl in the world. My god the things she did for me (not in that way). And i still chose to throw it away by chatting up other girls - that wasn't even the end of it, either. She split up from me at that point to give us some space so we could try again. What do i do? Sleep with somebody else 3 weeks later.

She's hurting so much and she's tried and tried again with me since, and she cannot do it. I have never had this feeling in my life.

:(
 
SubFocus said:
Just split up with my girlfriend of 6 years (been together since we were 14). Hurts, man.

Completely my fault as well. She was the most amazing, caring girl in the world. My god the things she did for me (not in that way). And i still chose to throw it away by chatting up other girls - that wasn't even the end of it, either. She split up from me at that point to give us some space so we could try again. What do i do? Sleep with somebody else 3 weeks later.

She's hurting so much and she's tried and tried again with me since, and she cannot do it. I have never had this feeling in my life.

:(
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never appreciate what you got til its gone. is a hard lesson in life, but you cant of been as into her as you think if you strayed.
 
Broke up with my girlfriend of 8 years a month ago. What sucks is that it's been coming for years, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Why? Because she doesn't really have any friends that she's made on her own, nearly everyone she knows is through me these days. Her uni friends were morons, so eventually contact ended with them and she was incredibly quiet through secondary school so only has one close friend from there.

The end result is pretty much what I expected, not being able to get the clean break that I so very much need. She has kept up contact and i've reciprocated as it's unfair not to. But she's getting more and more agitated that I'm continuing to see 'our' friends (friends i made from University, that i lived with for three years, that she's gotten to know over the years) without inviting her out. She's pretty adamant that i'm turning them against her, i'm not at all, in fact i've stressed that i don't want them to cut her off because of me. But then, it's obvious to them that i need to move on (despite me never actually saying it) and they've been able to tell it's been dead for a long time, so they're not communicating with her much. And let's be honest, i can't seriously be expected to invite my ex-girlfriend out on nights out with me can i surely?

Truth be told though, i'm glad. While i feel awful that she's now lost a huge part of her social life, it's not really my fault. I always encouraged her to go out without me, to meet new people, but she never seemed to want to. I want to continue my life with my friends, if she starts coming out with us again i don't think i will be able to. I don't want to have to compromise over them, they're people I've known for years, lived with for several of which, but i also can't be cruel enough to force her out. We're a really close-knit bunch but it's because they're such lovely people that I care about them so much. As a result of their good nature i can't see them being able to cut her off for much longer without feeling bad, so i can see her coming back.

My 'new' life is going very well so far, i'm very much enjoying being myself for the first time in years. Which is why i'm all the more worried about the day she starts to reappear within it.


Oh my, not talked about this to anyone yet. Good work old chap posting it on a public forum. Ho hum, gonna hit the post button anyway.
 
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Streeteh said:
Broke up with my girlfriend of 8 years a month ago. What sucks is that it's been coming for years, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Why? Because she doesn't really have any friends that she's made on her own, nearly everyone she knows is through me these days. Her uni friends were morons, so eventually contact ended with them and she was incredibly quiet through secondary school so only has one close friend from there.

The end result is pretty much what I expected, not being able to get the clean break that I so very much need. She has kept up contact and i've reciprocated as it's unfair not to. But she's getting more and more agitated that I'm continuing to see 'our' friends (friends i made from University, that i lived with for three years, that she's gotten to know over the years) without inviting her out. She's pretty adamant that i'm turning them against her, i'm not at all, in fact i've stressed that i don't want them to cut her off because of me. But then, it's obvious to them that i need to move on (despite me never actually saying it) and they've been able to tell it's been dead for a long time, so they're not communicating with her much. And let's be honest, i can't seriously be expected to invite my ex-girlfriend out on nights out with me can i surely?

Truth be told though, i'm glad. While i feel awful that she's now lost a huge part of her social life, it's not really my fault. I always encouraged her to go out without me, to meet new people, but she never seemed to want to. I want to continue my life with my friends, if she starts coming out with us again i don't think i will be able to. I don't want to have to compromise over them, they're people I've known for years, lived with for several of which, but i also can't be cruel enough to force her out. We're a really close-knit bunch but it's because they're such lovely people that I care about them so much. As a result of their good nature i can't see them being able to cut her off for much longer without feeling bad, so i can see her coming back.

My 'new' life is going very well so far, i'm very much enjoying being myself for the first time in years. Which is why i'm all the more worried about the day she starts to reappear within it.


Oh my, not talked about this to anyone yet. Good work old chap posting it on a public forum. Ho hum, gonna hit the post button anyway.
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sounds like you know what you want, just a case of convincing her. i guess in time she will get the hint and make her own friends though, just stick it out.
 
Streeteh said:
Broke up with my girlfriend of 8 years a month ago. What sucks is that it's been coming for years, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Why? Because she doesn't really have any friends that she's made on her own, nearly everyone she knows is through me these days. Her uni friends were morons, so eventually contact ended with them and she was incredibly quiet through secondary school so only has one close friend from there.

The end result is pretty much what I expected, not being able to get the clean break that I so very much need. She has kept up contact and i've reciprocated as it's unfair not to. But she's getting more and more agitated that I'm continuing to see 'our' friends (friends i made from University, that i lived with for three years, that she's gotten to know over the years) without inviting her out. She's pretty adamant that i'm turning them against her, i'm not at all, in fact i've stressed that i don't want them to cut her off because of me. But then, it's obvious to them that i need to move on (despite me never actually saying it) and they've been able to tell it's been dead for a long time, so they're not communicating with her much. And let's be honest, i can't seriously be expected to invite my ex-girlfriend out on nights out with me can i surely?

Truth be told though, i'm glad. While i feel awful that she's now lost a huge part of her social life, it's not really my fault. I always encouraged her to go out without me, to meet new people, but she never seemed to want to. I want to continue my life with my friends, if she starts coming out with us again i don't think i will be able to. I don't want to have to compromise over them, they're people I've known for years, lived with for several of which, but i also can't be cruel enough to force her out. We're a really close-knit bunch but it's because they're such lovely people that I care about them so much. As a result of their good nature i can't see them being able to cut her off for much longer without feeling bad, so i can see her coming back.

My 'new' life is going very well so far, i'm very much enjoying being myself for the first time in years. Which is why i'm all the more worried about the day she starts to reappear within it.


Oh my, not talked about this to anyone yet. Good work old chap posting it on a public forum. Ho hum, gonna hit the post button anyway.
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Sorry to hear that pal.

Just a thought, Why cant your ex go on nights out with you?

I know it might be awkward the first few times, but if you know each other that well, then surely you can get along?

Is a friendship on the cards for you two? or do you want no contact with her at all?
 
Clov!s said:
Sorry to hear that pal.

Just a thought, Why cant your ex go on nights out with you?

I know it might be awkward the first few times, but if you know each other that well, then surely you can get along?

Is a friendship on the cards for you two? or do you want no contact with he at all?
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We did try once, but it ended with her shouting at me for not talking to her enough. I thought a quick chat and buying her a drink would have been enough :/

It's crude but I'll be honest, when i was last single (8 years ago) i didn't have a clue how to pull. It turns out that in that time i have miraculously learnt how to, and am having a jolly good time of it. If she's there I just won't be able to, partly because it would be unfair and also because it would be just plain strange.

I've tried the friends thing, but it's all so intense. Every question is loaded and every moment it feels like she's waiting for me to either take her back or slip up in a way that she can get angry at me for.
 
Streeteh said:
We did try once, but it ended with her shouting at me for not talking to her enough. I thought a quick chat and buying her a drink would have been enough :/

It's crude but I'll be honest, when i was last single (8 years ago) i didn't have a clue how to pull. It turns out that in that time i have miraculously learnt how to, and am having a jolly good time of it. If she's there I just won't be able to, partly because it would be unfair and also because it would be just plain strange.

I've tried the friends thing, but it's all so intense. Every question is loaded and every moment it feels like she's waiting for me to either take her back or slip up in a way that she can get angry at me for.
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Hmm i suppose the whole pulling part could be awkward, but then if you can both be adult about it, you shouldnt worry about either of you pulling.

Ive had that experience before, and i know it can be a tricky situation, maybe it is for the best if she moves on with her life and finds a new friendship circle to hang out with.

You might have to me cruel to be kind and just put it out there that you and her cant share the same group of friends, soon enough she will come to a realisation that she needs to move on.
 
The Craig said:
If either party flirts with a stranger the opposing party might get annoyed/jealous etc.
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Ye but if they are both adults about it, im sure they can not get jealous with just flirting?

It would be another story if they saw one of them leaving with another person but innocent flirting isnt something that should cause jealousy.
 
Fired off at least 30 messages to various women across 3 different sites in the last two days, no dice!! :angry:

oh and i have vicious backache, Hugs please but be gentle :)
 
It's weird but I've spent a while chasing a relationship, but after meeting up with a few girls here in Weston I realise the one thing I thought I wanted, is the one thing I don't want.

Have met up with several women up here, but they all have baggage, someone elses kids, tied to the kitchen sink. Just want someone I can call up, say pub ? Drinks, bit of fun and see were it goes really don't want anything to seriously full on which all they seem to want.
 
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