The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

mattyprice4004 said:
Just communication problems, pointless arguing and general issues... will see though. You never know. :)
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same situation with my ex. we have 2 kids together, love her to bits, but we just kept fighting. any little thing would trigger it, and neither of us could really tell the other what we wanted. we then grew apart and split. i keep hoping that one day we will get back together, but i know deep down we wont. just need to suck it up and move on, just hard :(
 
paradisiac said:
same situation with my ex. we have 2 kids together, love her to bits, but we just kept fighting. any little thing would trigger it, and neither of us could really tell the other what we wanted. we then grew apart and split. i keep hoping that one day we will get back together, but i know deep down we wont. just need to suck it up and move on, just hard :(
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:( Maybe things will get easier between you and you can sort things out, shame for the kids really :(
 
paradisiac said:
oh we see eachother every day and we get on and all. just no love there on her part i guess. and yes, before all the normal 'she is banging someone else' comments, this is probably true.
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No matter if its true or not, don't ponder on it, just don't think about it :)

I made the mistake of constantly thinking about what my ex was doing and i try not to think about it as much now.

I know it must be hard to see her everyday knowing you cant be with her :(
 
Clov!s said:
No matter if its true or not, don't ponder on it, just don't think about it :)

I made the mistake of constantly thinking about what my ex was doing and i try not to think about it as much now.

I know it must be hard to see her everyday knowing you cant be with her :(
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yeh its horrible, but it would be worse not seeing my kids, so these things have to be done.
yeh, its been 6months now, and i still get those thoughts creeping into my head of what/who she is doing whilst i have the kids sleeping over.
 
paradisiac said:
yeh its horrible, but it would be worse not seeing my kids, so these things have to be done.
yeh, its been 6months now, and i still get those thoughts creeping into my head of what/who she is doing whilst i have the kids sleeping over.
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Yep, you have to sacrifice things in your life though but as long as you are there for your kids then thats good :)

Ye i understand, it can send you crazy :/ Ive been split with my ex for a month now and she has a new boyfriend, some flashy fool with loads of money, so no wonder why shes with him lol, i still think about her everyday and always have that thought in my head about us getting back together, but i honestly dont think we ever will, which is sad, but im sure in time i will find someone who i love as much as my ex :)
 
Clov!s said:
Yep, you have to sacrifice things in your life though but as long as you are there for your kids then thats good :)

Ye i understand, it can send you crazy :/ Ive been split with my ex for a month now and she has a new boyfriend, some flashy fool with loads of money, so no wonder why shes with him lol, i still think about her everyday and always have that thought in my head about us getting back together, but i honestly dont think we ever will, which is sad, but im sure in time i will find someone who i love as much as my ex :)
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yeh, my biggest problems is i gave up everything for her, and now im left alone. but time is a healer so they say.
 
things are going pretty well for me right now :D Everywhere I look people I know are in relationships that they clearly aren't happy in. At the moment, I'm smashing the pasty of someone who I get along with really well, and the situation is perfect - I know I'm off to uni in 4-5 months, so I don't intend on starting a relationship, I'm just having fun, and it's working :D Plus I'm still good friends with my ex, so there's nothing lost or awkwardness there, everything is just generally working out, and I'm coasting along making the most of it all :) I'm certainly living a lot better when I don't care about the little insignificant things.

I see too many couples arguing about the tiniest of things and I just think to myself, chill. If you take a step back and talk about things with a rational mindset, be honest, be open, say what you feel, in the end things will only get better. If it's a relationship issue, being honest and open will either end up with the issue getting talked about and fixed, or you breaking up, which is tough, but ultimately better for you, if it was that big of a deal.

You can quantify anything and everything when it comes to how it benefits you. I used to think that all I wanted to do was to please somebody else, and while that opinion hasn't changed massively, I do enjoy helping and pleasing others, I've come to realise that at the end of the day, it's still MY life, and if making somebody else happy comes at my greater unhappiness, it's not worth it. I'm a mathematically minded person, so a lot of things I say or do seem quite cold - that's not true, I'm just very matter of fact and weigh up the pros and cons of everything I do. Unless I'm drunk, in which case that all goes out of the window.

Anyway, I'm rambling - in conclusion:

Too many people, give too many ****s about **** that they shouldn't give a **** about (I'll let you take your pick of expletives). Chill out, take a step back, do what YOU want. And for ****s sake quit whinging about things. If you can't fix it, quit worrying about it. If you can, do something!

edit: I'm also probably very pretentious and egotistical, I've not exactly experienced a lot of the world so until I have, I truly cannot compare to some of the situations in this thread. What I will say though is best of luck, I hope things work out for you all! :)
 
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Here's my input lol.

Split up with my girlfriend of a year last weekend, it was on the cards and it was for the best as i'm moving abroad next year. Decided that I really don't want another relationship for a good while as i've been in one pretty much since I was 16,

But since breaking up with her, i've just found myself being bored and lonely when i'm not seeing friends and stuff.

Literally just come in from work, am shattered so can't be bothered to do much, but within 5 minutes im just sitting refreshing Facebook and OcUK over and over again, just need to vent really and ask for any tips on dealing with being mind bogglingly bored :(

Also,

There's a few ladies i'm talking to at the moment, but as said earlier, I don't really want to be in a relationship, but would like to get to know them better etc, what's the best way to approach this situation. This doesn't meant I just want to pound and run, if anything it's the opposite cause they're just my type lol :p

fml.
 
Megahurtz400 said:
Here's my input lol.

Split up with my girlfriend of a year last weekend, it was on the cards and it was for the best as i'm moving abroad next year. Decided that I really don't want another relationship for a good while as i've been in one pretty much since I was 16,

But since breaking up with her, i've just found myself being bored and lonely when i'm not seeing friends and stuff.

Literally just come in from work, am shattered so can't be bothered to do much, but within 5 minutes im just sitting refreshing Facebook and OcUK over and over again, just need to vent really and ask for any tips on dealing with being mind bogglingly bored :(

Also,

There's a few ladies i'm talking to at the moment, but as said earlier, I don't really want to be in a relationship, but would like to get to know them better etc, what's the best way to approach this situation. This doesn't meant I just want to pound and run, if anything it's the opposite cause they're just my type lol :p

fml.
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As much as we used to argue on here (under my old username, many years ago) my situation actually mirrors yours - word for word. It's like reading what's in my head apart from the abroad bit.

Hope you sort it mate.
 
Clov!s said:
Absolutely :)

Did you invest everything you had into her? Because that's why it can take longer to get over things :/
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i moved away from everyone i knew so she could be closer to her family and friends. i worked hard so she could buy nice things and start her own business. i stayed at home looking after the kids so she could go out with her mates. then she leaves me with nothing :(
but im not bitter, its the way things go. and like i said, love her to bits and always will.
 
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