1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by mattyprice4004, Apr 23, 2012.

  1. Hades

    Capodecina

    Joined: Oct 19, 2002

    Posts: 23,950

    Location: Surrey and London

    No offence intended but she sounds a lovely person just deciding something so big for the pair of you without reasonable discussion. Right now is not a time to take on any financial commitments. As mentioned above it's also not fair on the dog when you eventually return to work. For me the answer would be "No we're' not getting a dog." I wouldn't even entertain a discussion on it until the world settles down again.
     
  2. Steeps

    Soldato

    Joined: Nov 8, 2003

    Posts: 5,042

    Location: Bedfordshire

    It's bad enough your holidays are limited by school terms for cost and availability, but adding a dog into that mix will add further limitations to when and where you can holiday or weekends out. It's a big life changing commitment.
     
  3. 413x

    Capodecina

    Joined: Jan 13, 2010

    Posts: 18,351

    Location: Cardiff

    If you want a dog because of being house bound it's a bad decision
     
  4. A2Z

    Sgarrista

    Joined: May 9, 2005

    Posts: 8,179

    Location: London

    How about get a cat instead? Then a dog in the future when the timing is better.
     
  5. malachi

    Sgarrista

    Joined: Jun 27, 2006

    Posts: 9,982

    Location: Earth

    Still an unnecessary bill when they have bills coming out their ears right now.
     
  6. mrbell1984

    Capodecina

    Joined: Aug 9, 2008

    Posts: 24,251

    Don't do it. Not the right time by the sounds of it.
     
  7. RobDogDog

    Wise Guy

    Joined: Aug 8, 2011

    Posts: 1,376

    I think she's just gone a bit stir crazy and didn't think it through properly. We've had a chat about it and she understands my reservations. She basically said that she was thinking with her heart and me with my head. Think my reasoning was logical and just enough that she realised that it wasn't the best time. Put on hold.
     
  8. koolpc

    Capodecina

    Joined: Dec 2, 2004

    Posts: 11,654

    Location: Under The Desk, Wales

    She is barking mad to want a dog at this moment in time!
     
  9. Combat squirrel

    Capodecina

    Joined: Aug 7, 2004

    Posts: 10,176

    Both self isolate for 14 days, make sure both all clear, then you go isolate at her house or she yours?

    I don't see the issue with that tbh, sensible approach.
     
  10. Hades

    Capodecina

    Joined: Oct 19, 2002

    Posts: 23,950

    Location: Surrey and London

    She'll be wanting a kid next. A puppy is just the first step towards that.
     
  11. Hades

    Capodecina

    Joined: Oct 19, 2002

    Posts: 23,950

    Location: Surrey and London

    Although that solves the issue of a dog alone during the day (get a cat flap) it can still be expensive. I had to take my cat to the vets last week after she got into a fight with another animal. £330 later the cat hates me.
     
  12. UnLuckyBenski

    Mobster

    Joined: Dec 28, 2017

    Posts: 4,299

    Location: London

    What if one of you is an asymptomatic carrier and the other gets ill? It's a nightmare.
     
  13. 413x

    Capodecina

    Joined: Jan 13, 2010

    Posts: 18,351

    Location: Cardiff

    Noooooo

    Run away!
     
  14. Blackvault

    Mobster

    Joined: May 5, 2004

    Posts: 3,825

    Location: Northern Ireland

    We've just decided to keep apart from each other for the time being. I share a house with my sister who is a nurse and will be working in the Nightingale hospital here in Belfast so if she brings anything back, I'd rather not pass it onto anyone, including my girlfriend. Not sure what the PSNI are like but I doubt I'd get to my girlfriend's house without being stopped.

    So far things have been good. We would video chat a few times a week and even had a virtual date the other night watching Murder Mystery on Netflix. She currently lives alone, although with two dogs for company but it is still lonely for her.
     
  15. Diagro

    Sgarrista

    Joined: Jun 3, 2012

    Posts: 9,058

    Very Very bad advice. It's as if you have no idea how woman think. oh dear
     
  16. Hades

    Capodecina

    Joined: Oct 19, 2002

    Posts: 23,950

    Location: Surrey and London

    The danger is that if he doesn't push back now, then her making unilateral decisions will become the norm. I long ago learned that the easy way of just giving in to the small issues creates bigger problems long term. But it does risk the relationship early on.
     
  17. malachi

    Sgarrista

    Joined: Jun 27, 2006

    Posts: 9,982

    Location: Earth

    I'm not a woman so of course I don't know how they think :p

    But no, its not bad advice, you need to put boundaries in place so they don't go and do stupid things which end up screwing you both over. If you don't, then don't complain when they do something else and it escalates into something bigger you disagree with.

    I learnt that lesson a few years ago.

    If she respects you then it wont, if she doesn't then you know she wasn't the right one. Weeds out all the trouble makers if you nip it in the bud early on.
     
  18. 413x

    Capodecina

    Joined: Jan 13, 2010

    Posts: 18,351

    Location: Cardiff

    Agreed.

    Its flat out rude and doesn't show much of a partnership
     
  19. malachi

    Sgarrista

    Joined: Jun 27, 2006

    Posts: 9,982

    Location: Earth

    Rude, how?

    Its got nothing to do with partnership, its about thinking what you are doing first before making rash decisions. Especially when times are tough as it is.
     
  20. .Lethal

    Soldato

    Joined: Jun 8, 2005

    Posts: 6,494

    Location: United Kingdom

    You're getting the guys girlfriend confused for a dog.