Having actually taken the time to read some of the other comments on the current ‘lipo scandal’... is this the paranoid-olympics or something?
The whiff I’m getting here is that the threat to the ego of having your partner cheat on you is apparently as bad as your partner
actually cheating on you. That is ridiculously fragile and anyone subconsciously holding that view is a silly sausage. Heaven forbid what happens should you actually even have a falling out with your partner about something which hasn’t actually happened - game over man, game over! Meanwhile, in reality, there is always a risk that a partner will be unfaithful in all relationships and that risk is something we have to accept.
If you want to make it as dumb and black/white as some seem to be suggesting, then there is always some element of emotional dishonesty in a relationship because a relationship requires sacrifice and the choosing of a set of actions (i.e. a preferred partner) rather than another. Ideally we’d all have our cake and eat it, presumably ending up in some ridiculously big national orgy. For what it’s worth, I think it’s rather more complicated than that and that people have a huge competing spectrum of what they want and need from different people at different times.
My key point is this: There is clearly a balance to be made but I suggest that a successful ongoing relationship
necessarily requires occasionally acting for your yourself at the expense of the other in the relationship and having the capacity for both individuals to deal with the consequences and forgive each other. Otherwise it’s as I suggest: fragile.
Material perpetual dishonesty in a relationship is clearly a bad thing but if you
cannot recovery from an act of insulting dishonesty because of your fragile ego then the relationship should fail tbh and you should build up a bit more self resilience.
Only the OP can properly gauge if there is any ongoing dishonesty / risk and he is free to decide whether to continue to accept risk or not. There is no wrong outcome or poor choice, only an incentive to make the best choices as they present themselves and a bad decision in hindsight is not a bad decision... merely a choice taken.
