I'm not calling women gold diggers or even saying it's a negative thing, but women care about your job for sure, they aren't "gold digging" - it's just an attractive trait in men.
The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
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I'm not calling women gold diggers or even saying it's a negative thing, but women care about your job for sure, they aren't "gold digging" - it's just an attractive trait in men.
Agreed. I think job goes for guys too.
But a guy is probably more likely to go for a hotty without a job than a girl would!
Job matters. It shows a lot of traits in one simple conversation.
It's not that I care, I'm trying to put myself in the right pecking order. No point me aiming "above my station" as it were. I'm quite flexible on who I go out with myself.
Also salary here isn't as big a concern, women are financially independent and plenty of people in the 150-400k category so it's not a 'big deal' unlike back home where maybe it is
Agreed. I think job goes for guys too.
But a guy is probably more likely to go for a hotty without a job than a girl would!
Job matters. It shows a lot of traits in one simple conversation.
I think most men would date a woman who they liked whether she worked part time as a cleaner or was a high paid Barrister, but it's gonna be more of a deal breaker for women if a guy doesn't have his **** together, unless he looks like Brad Pitt and she's loaded or something.
Women don't care about the status, they care about the money attached to that status such as being an doctor, a lawyer or CEO of a company.
That's true, the more a woman earns, the more their selection of men to date becomes smaller because women rarely date down, sometimes across but mainly higher.
That's why we have so many high earning women who are 30 plus, single and miserable. Thinking if they are high earning, then they will attracted an high earning man. Which is never the case because men don't care about how a women makes, we care about youth and fertility, titz and hips! So you have all the high earning men, dating the slim 21 year old receptionist, janitor, barista who may or may not be part time. Not the 30 plus, earning over 100k a year, strong and independent women.
I think it's also hard for a man to date a high earning woman.
I personally wouldn't want to.
Let's say you want a family. Who's going to look after the kids? Logically, it should be the low earner. I don't pretend to speak for everyone . But I doubt most guys want to be left in that position.
I certainly wouldn't.
If you're looking at 40s+ women it's not an issue as that stage is potentially done and dusted.
£150-400k is top 1%.
Exactly, neither would I. They wouldn't be fun, always carrying that masculine trait and never feminine because that's what you have to be when heading to the top, especially in the corporate world.
Who would men choose....That slim 21 to 25 year old receptionist or Oprah Winfrey?!!?! Every man at ANY age would choose the receptionist.
Not in CHF I don't think... Agree uk different.
I would enjoy having a high earning wife. Would be more than happy to stay at home if required.
In Switzerland it's around the top 5% if you consider that plentiful.
Maybe over the whole country including countryside. But in the large cities the average is drastically skewed. Checking stats site even over whole country and government employres full time employees over 8000 chf a month (after tax) make up 23.6% of population.
Anyway getting off track. It makes no difference having my role on profile. It shouldn't make a difference and at least shows maturity and limited time!
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******* lol
Do you really mean EVERY man? And you choose to apply that to a ridiculously simplified and tailored comparison? Plenty of high earning women who are, er, more attractive than Oprah Winfrey.
I'm using Oprah Winfrey as an example because
1. She's one of the ranked richest women in the world.
2. She's famous.
3. She passed the age of having kids.
Which is my point, to men, youth and fertility in women is more attractive than a women who is older and rich. Biology plays a big part in it.
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As an update we had met up. She felt things had moved to fast. So yeah something to learn for the future...
Found the past while very difficult. I even cried once at night for the first time in my adult life. Only other time was outside hospital after driving my dad to hospital when he had a heart attack.
Surprised it has hit me so hard. Appetite has all but disappeared. Just trying to numb myself and keep focused on work. Think part of the problem is that life is so dull at the moment!
So yeah thanks all for being my agony aunt.
Found the past while very difficult. I even cried once at night for the first time in my adult life. Only other time was outside hospital after driving my dad to hospital when he had a heart attack.
Surprised it has hit me so hard. Appetite has all but disappeared. Just trying to numb myself and keep focused on work. Think part of the problem is that life is so dull at the moment!
So yeah thanks all for being my agony aunt.
Sorry I'm late to this, but I think you just pushed too hard for the relationship to be "something serious" too soon. If you'd spent time with her, not trying to define the relationship as serious, long term, etc, she may have come around on her own. Sometimes you've just got to take each day as it comes and wait for the other person to get where you are in their own time.
If you're the person they always want to be with, the one who makes them happy, then that's enough to start with. Some time down the line they will realise they want to be serious with you too, and make it official, even if it's just an acknowledgement between the two of you. A lot of relationships just take time to go from a casual thing to an important commitment. The people always chasing the Hollywood movie "spark" will spend a lot of time disappointed as they jump from person to person, never giving anyone a chance to become a deeper, more significant relationship.
18 months into a relationship, we're both in our 40s, she has a child, I don't. She basically wants me to move and get married.
She is absolutely crap with money, so if we got married I would be worse off, even though she earns more. I enjoy my computer games and like my own time. The other side of the coin is we get on well and I like the companionship.
Do I break up or marry her?
She is absolutely crap with money, so if we got married I would be worse off, even though she earns more. I enjoy my computer games and like my own time. The other side of the coin is we get on well and I like the companionship.
Do I break up or marry her?
18 months into a relationship, we're both in our 40s, she has a child, I don't. She basically wants me to move and get married.
She is absolutely crap with money, so if we got married I would be worse off, even though she earns more. I enjoy my computer games and like my own time. The other side of the coin is we get on well and I like the companionship.
Do I break up or marry her?
You sound really enthusiastic.