More than her? If so, break up.
The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
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More than her? If so, break up.
18 months into a relationship, we're both in our 40s, she has a child, I don't. She basically wants me to move and get married.
She is absolutely crap with money, so if we got married I would be worse off, even though she earns more. I enjoy my computer games and like my own time. The other side of the coin is we get on well and I like the companionship.
Do I break up or marry her?
Do you want to get married if money/children wasn't an issue. If marriage has never appealed to you then it could be a break up.
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Do I break up or marry her?
Marry her ofc it's all a girl wants.
Make sure you have no money though otherwise if you ever split up she's going to take you to the cleaners.
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18 months into a relationship, we're both in our 40s, she has a child, I don't. She basically wants me to move and get married.
She is absolutely crap with money, so if we got married I would be worse off, even though she earns more. I enjoy my computer games and like my own time. The other side of the coin is we get on well and I like the companionship.
Do I break up or marry her?
Are you happy alone? If so I'd break up. If this is the best her and you already have doubts things are likely to get worse.
You obviously don't have to answer these here. But a few things to consider to yourself:18 months into a relationship, we're both in our 40s, she has a child, I don't. She basically wants me to move and get married.
She is absolutely crap with money, so if we got married I would be worse off, even though she earns more. I enjoy my computer games and like my own time. The other side of the coin is we get on well and I like the companionship.
Do I break up or marry her?
Before meeting her would you have wanted to get married? Is she the sort of woman you could have seen yourself getting married to?
Would she expect you to cut back on your computer time? Are you prepared to do that?
How old is her child?
Why did she not marry the father and what does that say about her life choices in the past?
Is he still in the child's life? If so then are you OK with another man being in the picture? It may never just be a family with you, her and the child. It may include him too.
Are you prepared to be second place to her child (nothing wrong in that - just be aware you will never be #1)
Do you want to be a father to her child?
Would she allow you to discipline the child as its father in the future or would that cause problems?
Are you prepared to financially subsidise her and her child? I know she earns more but it sounds like you have far more dispossible income.
What reasons does she give for wanting marriage? What are you bringing to the table that she wants ("wants" includes love of course, not just material things)?
What would you be getting out of the relationship if you marry? In other words what would she be bringing to the table?
Ha, quite the opposite. I normally warn people off shouting "Leave me behind... save yourselves!"Don't listen to married people for advice - they just want to drag everyone else down to their level of misery.
Does she play computer games or have creative pursuits? I ask because my wife plays games, so she understands it if I disappear for a couple of hours a day to do so. One of my exes was a sculptor and had no issue with my gaming because she'd be in another room playing with her clay for ages.
By the sounds of it though, you can expect a reduction in your you-time which will only lead to resentment unless it's replaced by 'fun quality time' with her or her kids
At 18months together you should certainly be considering to move in together (moving in is completely separate from marriage IMO).
Then when you live together, you can start to resolve the financial issues before getting married.
You're both in your 40s, she wants some safety and routine and someone to come home to. Move in and be that person, or break up and continue your bachelor lifestyle.
Then when you live together, you can start to resolve the financial issues before getting married.
You're both in your 40s, she wants some safety and routine and someone to come home to. Move in and be that person, or break up and continue your bachelor lifestyle.
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She wasn't playing with clay...
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18 months into a relationship, we're both in our 40s, she has a child, I don't. She basically wants me to move and get married.
She is absolutely crap with money, so if we got married I would be worse off, even though she earns more. I enjoy my computer games and like my own time. The other side of the coin is we get on well and I like the companionship.
Do I break up or marry her?
Do want to be married to her and have an instant family? Does she want more kids?
If you have to ask, then definitely break up with her.18 months into a relationship, we're both in our 40s, she has a child, I don't. She basically wants me to move and get married.
She is absolutely crap with money, so if we got married I would be worse off, even though she earns more. I enjoy my computer games and like my own time. The other side of the coin is we get on well and I like the companionship.
Do I break up or marry her?
You don't sound like you are into her at all. Find someone who is a better match.
My girlfriend plays the same mobile game as me. Sometimes we sit in the bath for a couple of hours playing it together. Can't wait to marry her
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Hope you don't plug your phones in while you are both in and drop the phones into the bath...
By the sounds of it though, you can expect a reduction in your you-time which will only lead to resentment unless it's replaced by 'fun quality time' with her or her kids
This is the crux of it, I work 20 days a month, see her 7 days and have only a couple of full days to myself. I'm one of those weird people that likes my own company. If I do break up then things will get lonely, but I will have time to play computer games. The thing is I could easily play games 16 hours a day.
Ha nah off course not, make sure they are charged beforehand.
I say bail. You have a future of permanent freedom interspersed with a lot of gaming, no nagging and occasional moments of loneliness and despair.
Or work, some companionship, less sex, taking her kid to school "for her", brunches with her friends and DIY at weekends.
mcast's last Steam login - 77 days ago
"mcaaaaaaaaaast..... have you finished grouting the bathroom yeeeeeeeeeet??"
If you really wanted to marry her then you wouldn't be asking this question.
You are happy going round, getting some sexy time and going back home. Which is fine. We don't need women the same way they need us.
I bet if she was in her 20s, had no kids. You would be engaged by now, think about that
On a serious note, sounds like you don't want to. Not to her anyway.
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If you really wanted to marry her then you wouldn't be asking this question.
You are happy going round, getting some sexy time and going back home. Which is fine. We don't need women the same way they need us.
I bet if she was in her 20s, had no kids. You would be engaged by now, think about that
On a serious note, sounds like you don't want to. Not to her anyway.
Hell of a lot of truth there. I think I needed some random Internet strangers to see it.
The thing is, can you be single and happy?
Depends on the individual. I think most people would want a life with a significant other, but to have a good degree of control and personal freedom at the same time. It's about balance. As Iman said, the secret of her successful marriage to David Bowie was "privacy and respect". It's important to be with the right person for you.
It sounds to me that this woman will increasingly encroach on your personal life and take it over like knotweed. I wouldn't be surprised if she already has ideas of how to do so.
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18 months into a relationship, we're both in our 40s, she has a child, I don't. She basically wants me to move and get married.
She is absolutely crap with money, so if we got married I would be worse off, even though she earns more. I enjoy my computer games and like my own time. The other side of the coin is we get on well and I like the companionship.
Do I break up or marry her?
You get married because the two of you want it together, not because one of you pressures the other into it. If you're not there yet, you are not there.
The fact that she wants you to move and get married, and you don't want to means that you shouldn't tie yourself to her with a home, a marriage, and her poor finances. If that's a dealbreaker for her after 18 months, then let her move on. It honestly sounds like she just wants you to help finance her life.
If a man insisted on a woman moving in and marrying him after 18 months, we'd all be telling her to run from the crazy.