The Rise of Lonely Single Straight Men

NVP said:
Very strange, this expected pairing based on appearance ratings thing. Much more viable prior to "equality", but today it's a fools game.
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Genuine question, what should it be based on then?

The two sexes for the most part find different things attractive, or the order of things they find attractive is different. The majority of men for example don't care how much their partner earns. For women, the data clearly shows that they date along or up on the socioeconomic scale.
 
Quartz said:
I wonder if the reduction in family sizes is relevant? Until very recently large families - 8+ children - used to be common if not the norm, so boys grew up among girls. But for the past 2-3 generations 1-3 children has been the norm, which increases the chances of all the children being one sex.
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I was an only child and had no problem. I think the issue is kids now do not go out like we used to. Getting drunk and shuffling over to some hot girl was a lot easier and you were not competing with thousands of others.
 
Ayahuasca said:
Genuine question, what should it be based on then?

The two sexes for the most part find different things attractive, or the order of things they find attractive is different. The majority of men for example don't care how much their partner earns. For women, the data clearly shows that they date along or up on the socioeconomic scale.
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The enlightened tend towards compatibility of friendship to ensure prolonged happiness, however the viability of a mate from an animalistic sense is probably the leading initial attraction.
 
Ayahuasca said:
Genuine question, what should it be based on then?

The two sexes for the most part find different things attractive, or the order of things they find attractive is different. The majority of men for example don't care how much their partner earns. For women, the data clearly shows that they date along or up on the socioeconomic scale.
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We don't always agree on this sort of stuff, but it's very much more common that although it's cringe you do find people matching up in generally "predictable" ways.

More money for a guy means you can be a bit less hot and still bag a good looking girl.

Good looking girls (by that I mean by general consensus) get the pick of the men.


And opening up to pretty much nationwide competition (ie dating apps) the pick of the bunch (men and women) are seen as available to the average person. They aren't in reality available. But the perception is that they are. No longer do the cream of the crop have to settle for average Jo because of geography.

But you have the flip side of the candy shop affect for everyone. With unlimited options why settle for 9/10 when a 9.5 might come up tomorrow!



I'd actually be interested if online dating has made "leagues" actually more present? Because from my experience, generally, people seem to match thier partners. I don't know many 3/10s matched with 8/10s.
 
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I know it sounds like a fantasy to be in a relationship with a page 3 stunner. But if shes as dumb as a door mat you'll get bored quickly.

I think there is a correlation between objectification and marriage failures. People are getting married for the wrong reasons.

I noticed in a post I made in the height thread a few were making fun of the post I made were I said for me she should have an interest in computers. This is an important point.

If you don't have a mutual interest then you're relationship will be unstable as there is nothing mutually holding you together. There will be a highter chance of growing apart.
 
subbytna said:
I'd hazard a guess that today the use of phones to communicate with people, instead of the face to face contact that my and previous generations did, is a cause of younger men not having social skills to attract a woman. Younger adults are like little zombies walking with their faces in their phones and not taking in the world around them.
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These are my thoughts too. The use of social media, dating apps, whatsapp etc.. means that social interaction skills are on the decline. Combine this with the emphasis being on the man being the one to do the approaching and instigating dating and you've got a recipe for decline.

I think there's sympathy to be had for women too. If women do start asking men out and they do the instigating, they're seen as bossy, pushy or potentially being a ****. Women are looked down upon should they try and break that tradition of being passive in the dating rituals.

With the use of computers , social media etc.. comes with the internet echo chambers of other lonely men without social skills and you get the whole incel community who convince themselves all of their problems are caused by women. It's a receipe for what the survey in the original post describes.
 
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BowdonUK said:
If you don't have a mutual interest then you're relationship will be unstable as there is nothing mutually holding you together. There will be a highter chance of growing apart.
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I hear this point being made quite often, but from an anecdotal point of view, the marriages I've seen last involve two people who have little to no mutual interests. Unless you're talking about generic things like going out for a meal, going to the cinema, the odd holiday here and there or watching repeats on Netflix.

If you think about the things the average man and woman like to spend their time doing, they don't often align. Also, marriage and particularly child-rearing is about duty over your own interests.
 
Fr0dders said:
These are my thoughts too. The use of social media, dating apps, whatsapp etc.. means that social interaction skills are on the decline. Combine this with the emphasis being on the man being the one to do the approaching and instigating dating and you've got a recipe for decline.

I think there's sympathy to be had for women too. If women do start asking men out and they do the instigating, they're seen as bossy, pushy or potentially being a ****. Women are looked down upon should they try and break that tradition of being passive in the dating rituals.

With the use of computers , social media etc.. comes with the internet echo chambers of other lonely men without social skills and you get the whole incel community who convince themselves all of their problems are caused by women. It's a receipe for what the survey in the original post describes.
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There is also now I think, for the younger lads, an element of being "scared" to approach a girl in case of "hysteria" (for want of a better word) surrounding unwanted attention of a woman by a man. Back in the day if you wolf whistled at a good looking woman, they were able to let you know it was unwelcome by the look you got back, or if you got a smile, then you chanced your arm by talking to them. It usually never worked out and that was that, but the odd time it worked and you got a date sorted out. No harm done. Even if you didn't get a date, the woman usually took it as a compliment and brightened their day.

Now, if you were to try that it's "unwanted attention" etc and younger men don't want the hassle of being accused of wantanted attention etc.
 
Ayahuasca said:
I hear this point being made quite often, but from an anecdotal point of view, the marriages I've seen last involve two people who have little to no mutual interests. Unless you're talking about generic things like going out for a meal, going to the cinema, the odd holiday here and there or watching repeats on Netflix.

If you think about the things the average man and woman like to spend their time doing, they don't often align. Also, marriage and particularly child-rearing is about duty over your own interests.
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My wife and I have nothing in common, aside from being (I hope!) decent, considerate people.

I see us as complementing each other, rather than mirroring each other.
 
 
subbytna said:
There is also now I think, for the younger lads, an element of being "scared" to approach a girl in case of "hysteria" (for want of a better word) surrounding unwanted attention of a woman by a man. Back in the day if you wolf whistled at a good looking woman, they were able to let you know it was unwelcome by the look you got back, or if you got a smile, then you chanced your arm by talking to them. It usually never worked out and that was that, but the odd time it worked and you got a date sorted out. No harm done. Even if you didn't get a date, the woman usually took it as a compliment and brightened their day.

Now, if you were to try that it's "unwanted attention" etc and younger men don't want the hassle of being accused of wantanted attention etc.
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I'd agree with that too. Some of what I've seen women describe as "creepy" is merely men who are trying to instigate a conversation and get a woman's attention, and aren't really sure how to do it. Today it's become obvious that it's considered completely unacceptable to approach a woman in the street and start talking to her in the hope of striking up a conversation and then asking her out.

There's blame to be had on men here who don't get the hint when a woman says no, and persist to continue to talk, then finally get abusive and rude once it dawns on them that the woman isn't internested. But we as a society haven't progressed to a point where all woman know it's there role to be the one engaging social contacts with men and men must be passive.
We're currently in some kind of limbo where men instigating conversation can be seen as threatening, but women are looked down upon and told they're a **** for doing the same. Resulting in nobody doing the approaching and that's how we get the results of the survey
 
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Plenty of men are lazy. Rather sit on their backside and complain about women. Instead of going out there and doing productive stuff in their lives. Which in return will attract women.

413x said:
If I became single I'd certainly be looking to stay single.

I had a lot more freedom for sure and I actually did a lot more stuff and had less responsibility than now.

As long as you are fairly happy with your own company and actually do stuff then being single is no bad thing.

Its certainly easier.. In my experience!
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Heard plenty of people say that before until it actually happens. Then they are in tears saying how much they want their ex back. As all of a sudden they have so much free time on their hands they don't know what to do with themselves.
 
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It was the best thing i ever did at the time, went on lots of holidays got fit, more hobbies, nicer house everything was better.

Yes their was the odd time when I felt like some company when going out for dinner, after i got used to the general feeling of that coming on i just went on a dating site with zero intention of taking it further apart from a nice dinner. At my age it was nice evening met plenty of thick woman though nothing more off putting to me :)
 
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