Yeah, but NATO sending weapons into Ukraine is escalating, there are levels to escalation. You're happy with one level of escalation, but not happy with NATO directly intervening, which is simply just another level of escalation. Fighting a defensive war on Ukrainian territory is not declaring war on Russia.
It's escalating because Russia has not removed its forces. Funny that.
It's a bit like if Russia invaded Leeds, people would initially push back but if that was met with resistance then more force would be applied until the Russian forces were captured or retreated. Ukraine has asked for that, if that means the targets in russia that are part of the infrastructure in prolonging the attack are targeted then so be it.
You fail to accept that the physical aggression is all attributed to Russia, it's attempting to annex a sovereign nation.