Poll: Were you Smacked as a child?

[[ASSE]Hinchy]

But if many of us on here who are encouraging these smacked bottoms have been smacked ourselves when we were younger, surely it shows that it is an effective method. Possibly THE most effective method. I don't feel abused or anything for having endured it, and from the sounds of things no one else has.

Sure you don't like it at the time but in saying that, you don't like school at the time. Looking back on it, I want to go back to school as I had some great times there and things were so much more simpler then

 

[theleg]

Originally posted by MindYerBeak
In that case there is either something wrong with the child or the parenting is at fault.

Im sorry but you are wrong.

Children do not have the reasoning and understanding of adults. Some things, children just cant understand. That doesnt make them defective children, nor does it make the parents failures.

I would understand if you explained to me that putting my in the waste disposal was dangerous but would a 4 year old?

a child may not be able to understand your explanations while it will be able to understand that hand in waste disposal is associated with smacked botty.

 

[Markjcj]

I have two kids of my own, and two step kids in my care, they're mother now lives abroad, I'm the sole carer for these children. I have found that a measure of raising my voice in disapproval and the removal of privileges can be very effective as ways of getting through to the kids when reasoning fails. I feel no need to physically abuse my children to teach them right from wrong.

The elder two are far better behaved than the average child that you encounter today, my younger two are two of the best behaved kids in the school according to the headmistress of the school that they attend. If that can be achieved without resorting to smacking why should smacking be necessary?

I know from personal experience that if you bring a child up to respect the rules that you lay down for them or it will result in them losing out on things they want or like to do then the child will learn to behave in a decent manner.

 

[[ASSE]Hinchy]

That is down to good parenting on your part though, knowing how to deal with any situation properly when it arises.

But some children are different unfortunately, and do need disciplining. Sure, shouting and raising your voice at them will help from time to time, but with some children it doesn't help, so the need for them to be smacked arises.

When I was smacked, I had always been warned not to do what I was doing first. It was never a smacking for a first time offence unless it was something really bad that I had just done. Shouting was always the first thing but I remember thinking that shouting wasn't so bad. It was the smacking I didn't like just because it was a little embarrassing.

 

[Lostkat]

Originally posted by MindYerBeak
The mind of a hardened criminal, as I've stated previously, is different from ours. If your child has a normal brain he won't resort to criminal activity. Encouragement is the key, not a whacking.

Sorry but that is utter rubbish! What you are highlighting has been proved in SOME serious criminals such as serial killers. However, some are perfectly "normal" (as you put it) brainwise.

Genes alone cannot and do not determine our behaviour and personality. We grow into seperate individuals by a combination of our genes and our ENVIRONMENT. If that environment is one of no discipline, then how are children supposed to learn right from wrong?

A serial killer with a serial killer's 'brain' will only become a serial killer under a specific set of circumstances. You don't have a perfectly normal childhood and good upbringing to turn out an axe wielding maniac. Sorry but it just doesn't happen that way. There is always something to trigger it off.

And for the last time, smacking is not violence in 99.9% of cases. maybe in your day, but not anymore!

 

[MindYerBeak]

Originally posted by Markjcj
I have two kids of my own, and two step kids in my care, they're mother now lives abroad, I'm the sole carer for these children. I have found that a measure of raising my voice in disapproval and the removal of privileges can be very effective as ways of getting through to the kids when reasoning fails. I feel no need to physically abuse my children to teach them right from wrong.

The elder two are far better behaved than the average child that you encounter today, my younger two are two of the best behaved kids in the school according to the headmistress of the school that they attend. If that can be achieved without resorting to smacking why should smacking be necessary?

I know from personal experience that if you bring a child up to respect the rules that you lay down for them or it will result in them losing out on things they want or like to do then the child will learn to behave in a decent manner.

And with that I rest me briefcase, m'luds. Carry on whacking your children in the belief your're not being violent at your leisure. All the fancy words in the kingdom won't convince me of your denial. Herewith is a parent who doesn't resort to violence and has obtained better results than all of you so far. Retain your animalistic behaviour, denounce me as a DoGooder, maintain your smacks are not violent if that makes you feel good. We're on our way to Nirvanah, Mr. Markjcj, sir.

 

[Lostkat]

Originally posted by MindYerBeak
Raising your voice and shouting can have a very dramatic effect on children. The primordial scream was designed to warn others of danger and at the same time request assistance. A loud shout can achieve more than a smack could ever achieve. Your senses are immediately on the alert for danger, you're stunned and you look around for the explanation and the source. It's also nature's way, whereas a smack is not. No animal smacks it's kids, but it does do a lot of shouting and roaring. A smack is man's interpretation of confused "love".

I disagree. More often than not, being shouted at upset me FAR FAR more than being smacked on the bum. I felt far more unloved when I was yelled at and it scared me more than if I was smacked. So you could say that shouting 'hurt' more than smacking. It felt horrible.

And actually, lionesses and other big cats tap their cubs in a 'scolding' manner, as do some other animals. So it is nature's way for some animals.

 

[homerio]

all of your evidence always seems to come from single cases. I was probably one of the best behaved children in my school, i always used to get the courtesy badge at my pre-prep school, represented my school many times on away trips and sports matches and was made a senior prefect and house captain. My brother was the same and now hes studying to be a doctor at cambridge and in his first exams hes attained firsts. We were smacked. Surely if you accept his account, you must accept ours too?

 

[[ASSE]Hinchy]

Originally posted by Lostkat
I disagree. More often than not, being shouted at upset me FAR FAR more than being smacked on the bum. I felt far more unloved when I was yelled at and it scared me more than if I was smacked. So you could say that shouting 'hurt' more than smacking. It felt horrible.

And actually, lionesses and other big cats tap their cubs in a 'scolding' manner, as do some other animals. So it is nature's way for some animals.

Originally posted by homerio
all of your evidence always seems to come from single cases. I was probably one of the best behaved children in my school, i always used to get the courtesy badge at my pre-prep school, represented my school many times on away trips and sports matches and was made a senior prefect and house captain. My brother was the same and now hes studying to be a doctor at cambridge and in his first exams hes attained firsts. We were smacked. Surely if you accept his account, you must accept ours too?

Both extremely fair points. Being shouted at did in fact make me feel a little unloved at times, of course it depended on what the incident was and how badly I was being shouted at.

I wanted to say something about lions 'scolding' their cubs, but I wasn't 100% sure it was true hehe.

 

[Lostkat]

Originally posted by [ASSE]Hinchy
I wanted to say something about lions 'scolding' their cubs, but I wasn't 100% sure it was true hehe.

Trust me, I'm a zoologist



Anyway, good point homerio. I was extremely well behaved at school and have only ever been in trouble once when I was actually bullied into doing something. My report cards were always excellent and all my teachers liked me. I've won awards for exam results, got excellent GCSE's, A-Levels and am in my final year of my degree (which I'm also doing well at). Never ever been in trouble with the police or anyone for that matter, not even so much as a speeding ticket. I have many friends and I don't smoke, hardly drink and have never taken drugs.

I have a close relationship with my Mum and Dad and they have done nothing but encourage me to achieve whatever I wanted in life. I feel completely loved and supported, even in times of distress and if there's one thing I can count on, it's my parents being there to help pick up the pieces if it all goes horribly wrong.

I was smacked when I was little.
Social reject? Criminal? Violent? I think not!


Oh and my brother, and his mates and all of my mates also have similar stories.

 

[[ASSE]Hinchy]

What a delightful and happy ending hehe. Its exactly the same in the Hinchliffe family, except I'm worried about my uni exams coming up as I don't like the content of the exams

Oh well!!

 

[Fossil]

No. 4 for me.

 

[NickK]

Only very infrequently - when I really knew I was in trouble. Always happened right then and there though.

Well I seem to be sorta normal

 

[BigB@dJ@y]

4) I was smacked as a child , if I'd been a bad 'un!!

Who remembers being slapped on the back of your legs whilst wearing shorts ...oooooh.
Usually all my mum had to do was raise her arm and that did the trick.
I'll treat my kids the same way too.
Its never affected me, I turned out okay

 

[Chasser]

I was smacked as a child. The few times this happened, as far as I can remember, I deserved it. The ones I remember vividly came about after I chose to ignore my fathers (repeated) verbal warnings.

I now have two children and have smacked one of them. This happended after repeated requests to stop doing something I disapproved of. It worked, but I felt guilty afterwards. In fact I think it affected me far more than the little 'un.

 

[joilet]

there should be another option in the poll:

if you was smacked, did you do something back!

i dont think its right to smack children.
imagine if you did something annoying like leave your cd's everywhere and wouldn't tidy them up and someone came along and gave you a good hard smack. this is based at the age you are now. wouldn't be nice would it. you would probably hit them back. ive know little kids to do this. there are many other ways to tell a child you dont like what they are doing, its just that not a lot of people know how to.

im only 16 so im probably talking aload of crap!

 

[homerio]

Originally posted by joilet
there should be another option in the poll:

if you was smacked, did you do something back!

i dont think its right to smack children.
imagine if you did something annoying like leave your cd's everywhere and wouldn't tidy them up and someone came along and gave you a good hard smack. this is based at the age you are now. wouldn't be nice would it. you would probably hit them back. ive know little kids to do this. there are many other ways to tell a child you dont like what they are doing, its just that not a lot of people know how to.

im only 16 so im probably talking aload of crap!

Yup

I know I wouldnt smack a child for leaving things lieing around, its not one of those situations where it would be neccessary. Crossing the road before I said and not holding my hand however, I would be more inclined to.

 

[Lopéz]

Excellent debating in GD everyone - the likes of which we don't see too often.

Originally posted by Dogbreath

You are now making accusations that are simply not true. The 140 people see smacking as an effective last resort in disciplining a child, not as condoning physical abuse.

It's clear to me that a violent childhood has strongly affected your perception of violent behaviour. If responsible parents smack a child, they are not taking any kind of pleasure from that, they are simply reinforcing the concept of right and wrong.

You said: "if banning smacking a child saves just ONE child from becoming a model of it's insane parent, then that, to me, makes the banning worthwhile".

If saving that one child creates thousands of uncontrollable, undisciplined scrotes, would it still be worth it?

Once again, you've managed to read my mind and convey my exact thoughts on the matter. Nim is capable of doing this too - has my brain been hacked?

This is a real archive-worthy thread

 

[Phoolf]

3.

I sorta disagree with MYB and his no violence thing, it's when parents actually abuse their children it changes them, I have big boughts (sp?) of depression and hate both my parents. To trhis day my dad still threatens me quite a lot and even though I really want to stand up to him sometime it's not going to happen, I'm so scared of being the defenseless 3yr old I was hiding under my bed sheets trying to get away while he carries on hitting me. Instead when he threatens me I cry and cover my face and run to another part of the house. So don't say that smacking doesn't affect children, I used to be quite an extravert and I've gotten shyer and shyer and more depressed oevr the years and I blame my parents. Surprisingly I resent my mum for letting it happen, which is totally illogical but that's how my brain works. I remember once, was the first time my dad hit my mum, which wasa provoked attack but anyway - He hit her and she kinda went across the room and I ran in and immediately stopped it, getting smacked in the process. But atleast I stopped it happening again and I hate it how my mum never did that for me, ever. I was about 3years old and it made me think no one gave a stuff, I don't trust people anymore and I won't let anyone get close.

Sometimes a good smack wouldn't hurt a child, it would teach them not to do things again and againa, but when they abuse you for no reason or for tiny things, that's when it's wrong. MYB, you said that you'd learn from being sat down and talked to, but sadly most children wouldn't learn sod all from this seeing as they have no respect for their elders and would nod and say yes hten go and do exactly what they've been told not to.

Sorry if this didn't make sense, I've never talked about this to anyone properly so it probably didn't make sense.

 

[Slime101]

Originally posted by Lopéz
Excellent debating in GD everyone - the likes of which we don't see too often.

This is a real archive-worthy thread

- and i thought i was opening a can of worms but it seems to have worked quite well



A few more views from myself, firstly i would like to say how it is quite disturbing to hear form MYB and others who were beaten and abued as kids - this is definatly not the way to bring up kids and has obviously had a lasting effect.

However - i dont feel that smacking and beating are the same, smacking isnt violence in the same way as beating, it is done because we love our children, yes violence through love, sounds strange but its for the good in the longrun as long as it is the sort of controlled smack used appropriatly as is widely recognised by most in this thread.

Banning smacking wont help anyone - it will cause more trouble than good and those who resort to beating their children, well its not smacking and its already illegal (child abuse, GBH, ABH, assult etc.) and it doesnt stop them does it?? NO
Those who beat their children and take the discipline too far, including verbal abuse and i have witnessed a lot of this in some areas does generally come from those in the lower eschelons of society, yes i'm sorry to generealise but the working classes, poorer people do generally have more discipline problems and treat their children worse than the middle or upper class famalies.

EDIT: P.S - for the person who asked how many actually have kids, well - i dont BUT i did live with my niece for the first 2 years of her life, and am her godfather and present a father figure to some extent too as her dad is not around, i am involved in discipline of her as well as the nice things - i went round to see my sis yesterday and ended up playing farms for an hour