Permabanned
icehot said:Player
I probably thought that at the time too. But looking back I'd prefer to use the word Slapper or Tart or similar names for myself.
Thankfully that was a long time ago.
Who has cheated on a partner and why?
- Thread starter cleanbluesky
- Start date
I probably thought that at the time too. But looking back I'd prefer to use the word Slapper or Tart or similar names for myself.
Thankfully that was a long time ago.
Associate
had it done to me... wouldn't do it to anyone else...
The test will be remembering that if you're ever in the position/circumstance where you have the opportunity/will to cheat.SexyBetty said:
Like I say, I've never done it, but I dont think anyone can definitively answer the question - because we cannot predict the circumstance.
Associate
SexyBetty said:
Thats logic talking.
When you meet someone, perhaps by chance, and that person, who could be a complete stranger, makes you feel so special, makes you tingle inside with such excitement, in such incredible ways, all that logic will fly out the window. You can replicate that feeling by closing your eyes and thinking back to the most incredible and magical feeling you've ever had, replaying it over in your mind ................... Feels good doesnt it? Infact it feels absolutely incredible. Now imagine, for arguments sake, I am that stranger, and we met by chance in the Park on a warm and sunny day and the birds are singing and the sky is crisp blue, without a single cloud in sight, and I made you feel that way, again and again and again .. can you now tell me that you would never cheat when you're bubbling over like this?
I don't think many people can swear by that.
Old Turkey said:
If she met you and you made her feel that way then I am assuming she would split up with her boyfriend before pursuing any kind of relationship with you.
Once again Old Turkey I agree with almost everything you have posted but I disagree on one important aspect.
You are completely correct when you say that people never know what the future holds, who they will meet etc. But I do believe people can honestly swear they will never cheat. Simply because they know that if the situation arised where they had an incredible attraction to another person while they were in a steady relationship, they would break it off with the said person before acting on it.
Now I am sure there are many on these forums who are swearing they would never cheat but in fact possibly will during their lifetime, for exactly the reasons you have stated. But there are others who are more sincere. I refuse to believe that everyone on the face of this earth is unable to split up with someone before pursuing another relationship.
To summarise, you cannot control who you fall in love with but you can control whether or not you deliberately decieve somone else to act on this love.
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I was tempted once in a moment of lonelyness / weakness whilst I was away at uni. Booked a train ticket the next day to go see my gf and remind myself why it was worth keeping things going long distance.
Whilst I thought about it I don't think I could have done it though, loved my gf waaay too much.
Whilst I thought about it I don't think I could have done it though, loved my gf waaay too much.
Associate
id never do it, if you need to cheat to make yourself feel good or enjoy yourself then thats a little sad. If its worth more than your relationship then get out of it then you can go and do whatever you like all the time.
There is no real need to cheat, all this justification is merely an excuse. A pretty poor one at that
There is no real need to cheat, all this justification is merely an excuse. A pretty poor one at that
Soldato
GordyR said:
Get out of my head damn you !
You have the exact same thoughts on the subject that I do
If I were to even think about doing stuff with someone else then the relationship I am in is doomed and needs to be ended
Piggymon said:Get out of my head damn you !
You have the exact same thoughts on the subject that I do
Piggymon said:
Exactly my feelings. If I could contemplate cheating on a person then I know that the person I am with isn't right for me and the relationship should be ended for the sake of both parties.
Life is too short to waste time being with someone who is not right for you. The time could be far better spent looking for somone who is.
Anyway I'll have to leave you guys to squabble it out. Far too busy today be posting here. Feel free to tear my posts to bits in my absence Old turkey.
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Like I say... all down to circumstance, imo. I have often read posts, articles, books, and even spoken to parents that have said if anyone harmed their children (sexually, mentally or whatever) - they would kill that person. While I doubt a lot of them would go through with it, I'll bet given the right circumstance (lets take an extreme - rape and murder) - they could very well do it.
These people, under 'normal' circumstances, would definitely not classify themselves as murderers... Much like, I feel, people here can say that they aren't cheaters, and wouldn't be unfaithful.
To give a case in point - again, an extreme, but in context - I know of someone whose relationship fell apart due to a single act of infidelity. The circumstances, however, could be argued to warrant the deed. Said person had recently been made redundant, been plunged further into a large amount of debt, and to top it off, lost a parent weeks after. This person was absolutely bottom of the barrel, mentally shot. This was obviously putting strain on the relationship, and despite the partners patience in the circumstance, there were a lot of arguments. Taking comfort with someone else one night, in this extreme state - things went too far and this person slept with their confidant.
I cant say that I couldn’t have gone down the same road, in such circumstances.
These people, under 'normal' circumstances, would definitely not classify themselves as murderers... Much like, I feel, people here can say that they aren't cheaters, and wouldn't be unfaithful.
To give a case in point - again, an extreme, but in context - I know of someone whose relationship fell apart due to a single act of infidelity. The circumstances, however, could be argued to warrant the deed. Said person had recently been made redundant, been plunged further into a large amount of debt, and to top it off, lost a parent weeks after. This person was absolutely bottom of the barrel, mentally shot. This was obviously putting strain on the relationship, and despite the partners patience in the circumstance, there were a lot of arguments. Taking comfort with someone else one night, in this extreme state - things went too far and this person slept with their confidant.
I cant say that I couldn’t have gone down the same road, in such circumstances.
Never cheated on anyone, but I can't guarantee it would never happen as I can't predict the future. Have no intention of doing so though. I'd much rather dump the other person first, even if I was already taking my clothes off. Although I could see that being construed as 'worse' in some peoples eyes.
Permabanned
Iv not cheated but my g/f of nearly 4 years has on me..
1 night i went into norwich with some mates for a night out on the way home i drove past her flat about 2am just to see if her car was there, it was but i also see this other car in her drive which iv net seen before.
I stopped outside went to the door had a look could not see no1 and i know she never locks the door when she,s there so i opened it i heard a lot of noise coming from the living room her sister was there and had about 8 people round.
I had to go past her bedroom door to get to the living room it was pushed to and i heard a cough from her bedroom so i slowly opened the door and she was in bed with this bloke
Im sure you can guess what happend next..
Iv been speaking to this nice girl from Ipswich for the last 4 weeks over the net and she is coming down on the tain to see me 2nite So things are looking up for me at last
This is the girl i have been talking to for the last few weeks who im meeting for the 1st time tonight and yes she is staying
1 night i went into norwich with some mates for a night out on the way home i drove past her flat about 2am just to see if her car was there, it was but i also see this other car in her drive which iv net seen before.
I stopped outside went to the door had a look could not see no1 and i know she never locks the door when she,s there so i opened it i heard a lot of noise coming from the living room her sister was there and had about 8 people round.
I had to go past her bedroom door to get to the living room it was pushed to and i heard a cough from her bedroom so i slowly opened the door and she was in bed with this bloke
Im sure you can guess what happend next..
Iv been speaking to this nice girl from Ipswich for the last 4 weeks over the net and she is coming down on the tain to see me 2nite
So things are looking up for me at lastThis is the girl i have been talking to for the last few weeks who im meeting for the 1st time tonight and yes she is staying
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Soldato
Can I take my hat of to octocan, for once someone is actually understanding this thread, I think a lot of people on here like you said have never been in the circumstances, which is good. I for one have and I must say it does suck.
KaHn
KaHn
Soldato
LordSplodge said:
I would define that as a perfect relationship, being with someone who you can get through troubles with and still love. It means that no matter what, you know that you'll still love each other.
Associate
Alright, I really really am intrigued now, Gordy .. Why is it, and this goes for girls as well, that folk harbor this protocol of splitting up first before they act on their new found desire?
I find this whole ritual soooooo ........ whats the word to describe it ..... ceremonial ... its a mere formality if truth be told.
If you're in a relationship and you fall for someone else, what difference does it make whether you sleep with that person before or after you end the relationship you're in now? Chances are you will break their Heart either way. I mean, after all, after you breakup you're going to go and sleep with that person right away anyway. How does it differ from sleeping with them before hand then slinging in the towel with the relationship you were in?
When you're in a relationship, its not something set in stone. You don't own one another. The concept of a relationship is intangible, it cannot be touched physically ... its an idea ... and ideas can be fleeting and changed at will - like a precious lightweight feather dancing in the wind. I think the idea of holding this moral code of breaking up before seeing someone else has complete and utter selfish intent. * everyone gasps *
Yes, thats right! Selfish .. Its a way of the person who is breaking up to absolve themselves of guilt that typically comes along with falling for someone else while in a relationship with another! Its so obvious!
Thats why I feel no guilt. I am comfortable with my own actions. I don't need to console myself with what I have done. Why should I? Do I need permission from anyone for anything? No ....
Falling for someone and sleeping with them while in a relationship; Wrong
Falling for someone while in a relationship, breaking up that relationship, then carrying out what you intended to do all along; OK.
Eh? Even Aristotle would have a hard time getting his head around that one, I reckon.
And another thing, how many people honestly breakup with their partner before getting physical with someone they've been flirting with and given off sexual signals? Its the exception, not the rule.
If only I had a £ for every time I heard “It just happened!” from friends and acquaintances ..........
“Oh well ... I rarely see him ... I was lonely ... and I met this guy in the Park ... and things just sorta happened ... I dunno ...”
Classic.
Oh and Gordy, I agree that we, and men in particular, can control whether or not we deliberately induce (deceive is a word with bad connotations) someone to act on their passion. However, biologically speaking I don't know of many Men that can exercise this amount of self control in these circumstances. Especially if they are single and haven't had female contact for quite some time.
I find this whole ritual soooooo ........ whats the word to describe it ..... ceremonial ... its a mere formality if truth be told.
If you're in a relationship and you fall for someone else, what difference does it make whether you sleep with that person before or after you end the relationship you're in now? Chances are you will break their Heart either way. I mean, after all, after you breakup you're going to go and sleep with that person right away anyway. How does it differ from sleeping with them before hand then slinging in the towel with the relationship you were in?
When you're in a relationship, its not something set in stone. You don't own one another. The concept of a relationship is intangible, it cannot be touched physically ... its an idea ... and ideas can be fleeting and changed at will - like a precious lightweight feather dancing in the wind. I think the idea of holding this moral code of breaking up before seeing someone else has complete and utter selfish intent. * everyone gasps *
Yes, thats right! Selfish .. Its a way of the person who is breaking up to absolve themselves of guilt that typically comes along with falling for someone else while in a relationship with another! Its so obvious!
Thats why I feel no guilt. I am comfortable with my own actions. I don't need to console myself with what I have done. Why should I? Do I need permission from anyone for anything? No ....
Falling for someone and sleeping with them while in a relationship; Wrong
Falling for someone while in a relationship, breaking up that relationship, then carrying out what you intended to do all along; OK.
Eh? Even Aristotle would have a hard time getting his head around that one, I reckon.
And another thing, how many people honestly breakup with their partner before getting physical with someone they've been flirting with and given off sexual signals? Its the exception, not the rule.
If only I had a £ for every time I heard “It just happened!” from friends and acquaintances ..........
“Oh well ... I rarely see him ... I was lonely ... and I met this guy in the Park ... and things just sorta happened ... I dunno ...”
Classic.
Oh and Gordy, I agree that we, and men in particular, can control whether or not we deliberately induce (deceive is a word with bad connotations) someone to act on their passion. However, biologically speaking I don't know of many Men that can exercise this amount of self control in these circumstances. Especially if they are single and haven't had female contact for quite some time.
