Well that's the thing... I don't know if he was genuinely going through some issues at the time or whether he was actually just being a ****. I'm usually too quick to judge people but with him I've always given him the benefit of the doubt. I do genuinely think he's a nice guy and that maybe he just had too much pressure and stress at the time and didn't know how to handle a relationship.
People keep telling me 'stop making up excuses for him'... and I understand where they're coming from, but at the same time is it so bad to believe that there is good in some people, even if they did wrong in the past? As naive as that sounds.....
Hmm, I had to think whether I was going to post this. As a woman on these forums, I know that you can get treated both better and worse by the usual posters. I also know you've given some quite defensive replies in the past, both for good and bad reasons. I decided in the end that if you were a bloke, I would post the same harsh-sounding words, so I've decided to do so here.
Sorry Mischief, but it's women like you that give women a bad rep by allowing
****** men to take advantage of them - and then go back for more. You like the idea of this guy in your head, you've put him on top of a pedestal, but he's already blown chances over and over, yet you go back and reward his behaviour.
I don't know if you have low self esteem, but not only is that unattractive, it's also pulls in the predators who are looking for someone to emotionally control and play games with. Women often make the repeated mistake of choosing to wrong type of man, you're just going back to the same particular wrong man.
Even if he's great at first and tells you how much he's changed, people nearly always revert to type, and it won't be long before he's doing the same old crap to you, because at his core, screwed up or not, that's how he relates to people. He'll charm you and then get bored of you, like he did last time, and all the while you'll make excuses as to how he was "stressed" and didn't know how to "handle a relationship", as if that excuses treating you like dirt. He's very good at manipulating you to the extent you even defend his poor behaviour towards you.
You treated him as more important than yourself, while he didn't reciprocate, he just took advantage. You were here all upset for quite some time after the last bout of this guy and now you're going back for
more? Are you really so lonely and desperate for companionship that you would go back to this person that was mentally and emotionally abusive to you? You'd have that toxic relationship instead of finding new people or being by yourself?
I'm sorry, but there's no helping you if you won't help yourself. You come here, ignore advice if it doesn't agree with what you want to do anyway, and then come back for commiserations when it all goes wrong. Save yourself the heartache, find someone that treats you well and can "handle a relationship", don't go back to the dog that keeps biting you and then act all surprised when you get bitten again.
Please move forwards, don't go backwards.
And on that note, I feel we need to catch up also! Friendship is what its all about. I'd also like to catch up with Taylor Swift, but that is (literally) another thread.
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