£10,000 And I Don't Want It!! Arrghhhh!

placeholder · 21 Aug 2011 at 10:31

semi-pro waster said:
I have imagined myself to be the wealthy one in such a scenario, I can still see why it would cause the recipient to feel uncomfortable.

I have no reason to doubt the donors motives or that he'd feel good about albert receiving the money and spending it on something that he wants but the donor has to remember that they might be putting the recipient in an awkward position. I didn't think that albert got in touch with his mate expecting anything to come from it except to renew an acquaintance but what you're effectively saying that the wealthy persons whims (however well intentioned) should override those of his friend because he finds it difficult to get a kick out of his money now.

I have considered this from more than one angle and I can understand why it's an issue, as I stated before there's not a right or a wrong answer here but it depends on what albert and his wife feel.

No not at all. Sorry, my reply came across very curt when i didnt mean to.

I totally get what you are saying but i would hope that the fact that they are friends would overcome the awkwardness of accepting the cash.

Hyburnate · 21 Aug 2011 at 10:35

Cash it in, and buy him something to say thanks its helped a lot.

That will make you not feel so bad, he wouldn't of done it if he didn't care.

DampCat · 21 Aug 2011 at 10:37

Put it in a trust fund that can only be accessed in the event of some catastrophic event. That way, you're not spending it, but your mate can still turn your life around when you need it most.

Even if you cark it and it goes to your kids (or their legal guardian on their behalf), then he's made a difference that he can be proud of.

ryujinjakka · 21 Aug 2011 at 10:39

Cash the cheque.

If you feel bad about spending the money either put it into savings or open savings accounts for your kids for when they get old enough.

Or treat yourself an family to the best holiday/christmas ever

mmj_uk · 21 Aug 2011 at 10:42

Just stick it in the bank for a few years if you're scared he's going to turn up one day asking for your first born in return.

Richdog · 21 Aug 2011 at 10:52

Hyburnate said:
Cash it in, and buy him something to say thanks its helped a lot.

That will make you not feel so bad, he wouldn't of done it if he didn't care.

What did it have to do with "caring". The OP and his wife have good jobs, they refused the money, and the guy glibly said that he makes 4k a day so its nothing to him. They also haven't seen each-other in 15 years. "Caring" had nothing to do with it, he gave it like a sweetie, there was no emotion.

Im not against the OP cashing the cheque if he wants or needs the money, only if he says he doesnt want it (as said in the title)... and judging from some of the posts in this thread some people need to mature and get out in the world a bit more, if they think that amere 10k is an automatic throwaway of your self-respect and dignity.

OP, rip it up and get on with your life. Problem over.

Dave**** · 21 Aug 2011 at 10:55

If you are that arsed about it split it up between your kids savings accounts for college/uni. It will gain interest in the meantime and your mate can be "high" in the knowledge he is helping your kids out, like any "uncle" would do. This is of course on the basis that you have kids

Or on the other hand, give it to me

SuperTronNarwhal · 21 Aug 2011 at 10:58

JonJ678 said:
Pride is a terrible thing.

I vote for cash it, and put the 10k somewhere safe for a rainy day (such as if his business falls over, and you'd like to be able to return it).

This.

4Play · 21 Aug 2011 at 10:58

Accept it off your friend and put the money to good use

, ask yourself the question would you have done the same in his position ?

StoutMeister · 21 Aug 2011 at 11:00

Bank, now!

Locky · 21 Aug 2011 at 11:01

Life style of the rich always complaining, just cash it in, I would love to have your OMG I can afford not to cash in 10k problems, grief.

d_brennen · 21 Aug 2011 at 11:03

Tear it up if you want to be able to look your mate in the eye again

Phreaky · 21 Aug 2011 at 11:09

Cash it in and then just give the money to charity. He won't be offended (he'll think you kept it) and you do a good thing that could help a lot of people.

craptakular · 21 Aug 2011 at 11:10

Pay some off the mortgage or use it as house deposit!!

cm1179 · 21 Aug 2011 at 11:11

wipe your arse with it, you're not a charity case*

* of course, i am not being serious. take the kids to disney world. you're a fool if you don't.

Hedge · 21 Aug 2011 at 11:11

Richdog said:
What did it have to do with "caring". The OP and his wife have good jobs, they refused the money, and the guy glibly said that he makes 4k a day so its nothing to him. They also haven't seen each-other in 15 years. "Caring" had nothing to do with it, he gave it like a sweetie, there was no emotion.

Im not against the OP cashing the cheque if he wants or needs the money, only if he says he doesnt want it (as said in the title)... and judging from some of the posts in this thread some people need to mature and get out in the world a bit more, if they think that amere 10k is an automatic throwaway of your self-respect and dignity.

OP, rip it up and get on with your life. Problem over.

You seem quite sure about how things were said. Were you there because you come across as knowing all about how his friend conducted himself. Maybe you have never had any good friends if a gesture like this is beyond you.

If the op can use the money to buy his kids somethin nice or go on a family holiday then I bet his friend would get a great kick out of it. Everyone is so pessimistic on this forum, looking for the worst in everyone.

Kelah · 21 Aug 2011 at 11:17

Is your friendship for sale?

I would bury bodies for my friends, and for this reason I pick them very carefully.

I would find it very hard to keep the cash and avoid the feeling of owing this guy something.

Give him a call and talk it over, If he insists there is always the option of donating it to a charitable cause you both agree with. You both get the good feeling from helping others in need and he gets the knowledge that you can not be brought and if he is to re-kindle the friendships he cant just do it with a cheque.

GarethSouthgate · 21 Aug 2011 at 11:18

If you don't want it, cash it in and give it to me.

koolpc · 21 Aug 2011 at 11:21

Tell him how you feel and see what he says. If he genuinely wants you to have it then take it and shower him with thanks. You would do the same wouldn't you?

Soulja · 21 Aug 2011 at 11:21

Open an account for the kids and stick it in there