That is a bad ass mo fo monkey !
I think people should consider the merits of a helper monkey as the OP says. Think about it folks, get the monkey, kit it out in mini rockports and burberry tracksuit and a gold mooring rope chain to go around his neck. You could call him Devvo or Bobba.
Bobba could then be trained to fetch beer and tabs from the shop, he could be trained as an assassin monkey to harang burglars or just do simple backflips and somersaults when reruns of Fresh Fields isn't on UK Gold.
What rights does a monkey have?
Monkeys are fully covered since the Labour Government introduced the Monkey Rights Act in 2000. They can't be deported to another zoo where the possibility exists they will be harmed by other monkeys and have their bananas stolen by other monkeys or get kicked in at chimps teaparties .... by other monkeys.
Can i for instance take him into town. I know that some shops dont allow dogs but is that the same for a monkey?
Hmmm, I have never seen a no monkeys allowed sign, but you could skirt the issue by having a day-glo harness on the monkey and wearing dark glasses, thus having a guide-monkey.
Can I take him to the zoo so we can mock the other monkeys about running around naked and being in a cage?
I would say that is fair enough, but he must be distinguishable from caged monkeys so that he doesn't get nabbed.
And if i take him on the bus does he only pay half fare?
Does the bus driver need to know ? You could sneak him on through an open window although he might get caught if he rips the windscreen wipers off and takes a forrest gump on the windscreen.
If he wants to dance/perform/entertain in the street for money do i need a licence?
Gilly dances and I don't think he needs a licence. I would say you need good trainers for you and the monkey so you can fleet foot it away when the council trader inspectors pass by. You could also train the monkey to let their tyres down.
