CAN YOU BUY A MONKEY???

[Bennah]

Link works here.

You dont see that very often. There is a small chance of it happening, but it does happen. I wonder if they moved the bear of kept it in there with other apes...

 

[bloodline76]

To be honest the monkey may be better off with him than at a zoo:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060516/ap_on_fe_st/netherlands_bear_eats_monkey


strange. works for me

I agree plus he is going to look so cool watching the football with his England shirt on.

 

[Bakedgoods]

You really have no idea how to care for a wild animal. Primates are not solitary creatures for a start. Nor does it seem you're creating the correct environment. Do you have an acre plus of land that you will cover?

Typically, these monkeys are wild caught, usually trapped. Then they're either exploited for the tourists or exported in terrible conditions. Those that survive the exportation to another country get put in an alien environment. Personally, I'd hate to be treated like that and hope this thread is a joke.

Sorry for just quoting yours but I can't believe how seriously a lot of people take everything on this forum.

Cracking up at some of the posts, 5*

 

[da_mic_1530]

If you give me 6 grand I'll be your monkey!

only if you do a dance for me each day, make tea at any interval and record top gear on the video

 

[loopylou]

I had a monkey but it ate all me fags so I threw it in the sea.

Did you once work in a hotel as a handy man. Friends with that guy who used to be on telly?

 

[bloodline76]

Onto a more serious note. Following your question about doing research i would like to know the following, just to prove that i am serious about being a monkey owner:

What rights does a monkey have?

Can i for instance take him into town. I know that some shops dont allow dogs but is that the same for a monkey?

Can I take him to the zoo so we can mock the other monkeys about running around naked and being in a cage?

And if i take him on the bus does he only pay half fare?

If he wants to dance/perform/entertain in the street for money do i need a licence?

 

[MrWhippy]

OP, you are class, i'm in tears.
needed a giggle, thanks. have 5 stars...

 

[Usher]

I wish people posting pictures of chimps realised that they are not monkeys but apes which are an entirely different species .



EDIT: immediately followed by a picture of a chimp LOL

 

[Von Smallhausen]

That is a bad ass mo fo monkey !

I think people should consider the merits of a helper monkey as the OP says. Think about it folks, get the monkey, kit it out in mini rockports and burberry tracksuit and a gold mooring rope chain to go around his neck. You could call him Devvo or Bobba.

Bobba could then be trained to fetch beer and tabs from the shop, he could be trained as an assassin monkey to harang burglars or just do simple backflips and somersaults when reruns of Fresh Fields isn't on UK Gold.

What rights does a monkey have?

Monkeys are fully covered since the Labour Government introduced the Monkey Rights Act in 2000. They can't be deported to another zoo where the possibility exists they will be harmed by other monkeys and have their bananas stolen by other monkeys or get kicked in at chimps teaparties .... by other monkeys.

Can i for instance take him into town. I know that some shops dont allow dogs but is that the same for a monkey?

Hmmm, I have never seen a no monkeys allowed sign, but you could skirt the issue by having a day-glo harness on the monkey and wearing dark glasses, thus having a guide-monkey.

Can I take him to the zoo so we can mock the other monkeys about running around naked and being in a cage?

I would say that is fair enough, but he must be distinguishable from caged monkeys so that he doesn't get nabbed.

And if i take him on the bus does he only pay half fare?

Does the bus driver need to know ? You could sneak him on through an open window although he might get caught if he rips the windscreen wipers off and takes a forrest gump on the windscreen.

If he wants to dance/perform/entertain in the street for money do i need a licence?

Gilly dances and I don't think he needs a licence. I would say you need good trainers for you and the monkey so you can fleet foot it away when the council trader inspectors pass by. You could also train the monkey to let their tyres down.

 

[InsomniaCalls]

This thread is awesome.
Its the only thing to make me laugh today

5*'s

 

[Stellios]

Anyone else think of Karl Pilkington as soon as they read this?

 

[MrWhippy]

if it's really naughty though,
will you have to spank it?

 

[ferretmaster]

hmmmmmmmmmmmm

Train him to pick pockets! Also make sure he has the victorian costume as a real pick pocket must wear a brown suit. Soon you will be bathing in IPODS and Mobile phones ahhhh bliss.

 

[riddler]

lol its great...bloodline your a legend

i think this is the kind of monkey hes after...

 

[SexyGreyFox]

Is it me or am i the only one who would like a monkey?

Its been a life long dream for me to have a monkey but I wouldn't dress it in clothes.
After the cute pets thread I've been looking at Pygmy Marmosets.

 

[SexyGreyFox]

Anyone else think of Karl Pilkington as soon as they read this?

After listening to all the Ricky Gervais podcasts and most of the XFM podcasts I'm now of the opinion Karl is a very clever guy. In the XFM podcasts he is a very different character. When Gervais was talking about Chameleons, Pilkington asked what would happen if it was on a mirror - at that point I knew he was very clever.

 

[DarkShadow]

LMFAO !! .. I don't know why but I'm getting the image of a monkey coming with pre packed little clothes like a barbie doll ... HAHAHAHAHA !!

Trust me . . you're not the only one!

LOL

 

[saddler]

A monkey with clothes on? This looks like a job for Batmonkey

 

[Wryel]

Wryel, why the hell did you click?

 

[eidolon]

Best thread I've read in years, had me crying with laughter!

5*