CAN YOU BUY A MONKEY???

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Neon said:
the only reason you want a monkey is to make you laugh, and not to bring it up properly... theres something really really wrong with that.
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I agree, adopt a baby instead. Far more malleable to your comedy needs, plus you can teach them to recite hilarious jokes while fetching your beer from the fridge. :cool:
 
Rich_L said:
I agree, adopt a baby instead. Far more malleable to your comedy needs, plus you can teach them to recite hilarious jokes while fetching your beer from the fridge. :cool:
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Dont forget how they are a magnet for girls :cool:
 
Zip said:
Dont forget how they are a magnet for girls :cool:
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Totally, then you can teach THEM to recite hilarious jokes while fetching your beer from the fridge! And use them to breed more babies, who can then be taught to recite hilarious jokes while fetching your beer from the fridge, who can then be used a girl magnets, who can then....

Genius!
 
Rich_L said:
Totally, then you can teach THEM to recite hilarious jokes while fetching your beer from the fridge! And use them to breed more babies, who can then be taught to recite hilarious jokes while fetching your beer from the fridge, who can then be used a girl magnets, who can then....

Genius!
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The circle continues :D
 
You can have my high maintenance piece of ****

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I saw an organ grinder in Germany once. He had no monkey. I was disappointed. I mean, seriously: becoming an organ grinder and *not* having a monkey? It's just lazy! He could at least have painted a small child brown and clothed it in a red waistcoat and fez.

What's the world coming to? I blame Tony Blair. Depriving us hard-working, tax-paying citizens of monkey-based street entertainment. I remember when I were a lad, there were *hordes* of monkeys roaming the streets. But since they confiscated their rollerskates and slapped ASBOs (antisocial baboon orders[1]) on them, Britain has become a soulless place. Now the uncouth youth rule the streets, and the citizens live in fear. Now's the time to take back the streets! To the zoos! Release the monkeys!


[1] I'm sorry. Truly. For this entire post. It's just... monkeys... in my brain... they can go anywhere! Argh.

/random
 
If you get a monkey, don't buy it any cymbels.

I hate them puppets, scare the bejeesus outta me. :(
 
Rich_L said:
I agree, adopt a baby instead. Far more malleable to your comedy needs, plus you can teach them to recite hilarious jokes while fetching your beer from the fridge. :cool:
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Only reason I had kids.

Zip said:
Dont forget how they are a magnet for girls
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Lies tbh, last time I took my boy out on a lads day out, the only females who talked to me were grannies. Mind you, I do look like a robbers dog licking pee off a thistle.
 
~J~ said:
If you get a monkey, don't buy it any cymbels.

I hate them puppets, scare the bejeesus outta me. :(
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Ok. But if i get an evil one i think they come with cymbels as standard.

By the way how old do monkeys get? As i have never seen an old monkey before.

I hope I have proven my critics wrong so far with why I want a monkey and that he will be fully taken care of. I agree that a lot of research is involved for the correct upbringing of a pet monkey(Monkey sized clothes are very hard to find).
 
I knew someone with a spider monkey, not sure what happened to it though.
Everynight he had a little cup of tea and a biscuit to dip in it, then it went to bed and pulled it's ickle blanket over himself.

So cute :p
 
Come on, everyone knows Bubbles ain't a monkey! Sure she liked to chew on Michael Jackson's banana, but she don't got a single hair on her goddamn body (if you know what I'm talking about, shamone!)
 
Melm0 said:
I knew someone with a spider monkey, not sure what happened to it though.
Everynight he had a little cup of tea and a biscuit to dip in it, then it went to bed and pulled it's ickle blanket over himself.

So cute :p
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Do you think I could train it to make my dinner? Obviously I would get it little gloves.

What does a spider monkey look like? Ideally I would like a organ grinding kind of monkey.

I didnt think that it would sleep in a bed. I thought maybe a parrot cage would be ok but I have a spare double bed in his room so he will love that.
 
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