Man of Honour
I typed a reply against my better judgement before I realised engaging with someone who initiates in bad faith is pointless. Ciao.
Do you charge your children "keep" or rent? Do/did you pay it yourself?
- Thread starter jaybee
- Start date
Nice, I applaud that, you have a good attitude that I'm sure has given you a good options in life.When I was fifteen I'd already had a few jobs. One was a petrol station attendant, wiping down windscreens for tips. Another one was stacking shelves at a seven-eleven (yes, we had those back then) for their out of date crisps / snacks.
Oh and at school I used to sell everything I could get my hands on. I would literally sell used erasers to other kids for 50 cents. It was ace
I'm really careful about bringing up my son to appreciate everything, I hate entitled people! He would def have to earn his own money if he wanted lots of stuff but he actually is very contented and has enough from events like Christmas, Chinese New Year, his birthday and Eid!
Soldato
That wasn’t my point:
I.e. I already knew in your situation there would be perfectly good reasons, I just was bolstering the point above with an example.
Which was based on:
Demon said:
You seem to want to desperately validate your parenting decisions and just throw this idiotic assumption that asking kids to pay rent is terrible, and worse, you claim is selfishly motivated..
I know how difficult parenting is and you can be torn not knowing what to do when your individual circumstances and individual children’s personalities are so varied.. If there was scientific consensus that showed various things are detrimental to a child, the sure, get on your high horse.
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Soldato
i have made that clear with my family also. I have actually mentioned to my parents previously that i would be willing to give them the cash to purchase their 4bed council house on the right to buy scheme as they have been there for 25 years so the discount is astronomical. I offered this with two things noted. They can live there comfortably and enjoy the rest of their money in retirement on the condition that the house is left to me in the will and that he would not be staying there after that.
![[FnG]magnolia](/styles/overclockers/avatars/9.png){kind=avatar}
Caporegime
I was not arguing in bad faith. I have two daughters and your views, well let's say they raised an eyebrow. Apologies if it came across as antagonistic but again, not arguing in bad faith.
Soldato
My son is 20, he pays £80 a month, works part time in Yates, whilst waiting to join the RAF later this year.
His £80 a month is being saved to give him when he wants to buy something big. He doesn't know this though.
His £80 a month is being saved to give him when he wants to buy something big. He doesn't know this though.
Man of Honour
Congratulations, it transpires we have matching credentials in this regard, and conversely views that oppose to mine (as in, encouraging women to focus on careers and discouraging them from focusing on family) raise an eyebrow. I explained my views in the way I did, using the words I did, for a reason. Summing them up in a willfully/accidentally on purpose reductive manner is something you do quite often and I think it's unlikely something that can be explained away as anything other than antagonistic/bad faith.
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Caporegime
I can disagree with your view - very strongly, actually - without it being in bad faith. I can understand you used the words you did but I didn't reduce your argument further than you already had.
These traditional gender roles are the same one's exclusively adopted by every single generation of humans that have ever existed, the arrogance and stupidity that we should just say 'men and women are exactly the same', and disregard them like they're some offensive racial slur is mental. It's also damaging to the untold number of women who forego having children to focus on a career, only to realise when it's too late that working 60 hours a week to become a Lawyer isn't very fulfilling when you're going home to a cat, and you're compartively less happy than a woman who works part time but has 3 children and a hard working husband.
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Caporegime
Imagine being so edgy that you can throw 'men and women are exactly the same' into a conversation where people - adults I mean, not you Roar87 - have not said that and are trying to work their way through a discussion.
And LOL at your made up female lawyer/oh no I should have worked on the farm analogy, Jesus Christ you have simple views (and I bet, I ******* BET - no daughters)
e: swearing redacted, not necessary, apologies mods if it pinged any buttons.
And LOL at your made up female lawyer/oh no I should have worked on the farm analogy, Jesus Christ you have simple views (and I bet, I ******* BET - no daughters)
e: swearing redacted, not necessary, apologies mods if it pinged any buttons.
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I lived at home until i was 21 (I Joined the RAF 2 weeks before my 22nd birthday), I started paying 'Keep' to my parents once i left full time education after 6th Form and started earning a proper wage. I'll be doing the same to both my Daughters once they're old enough. My eldest is 8 and youngest is 4 so we have a few years yet.
My wife and i opened savings accounts for both our girls when they were babies and we split the child support we get for them into both accounts monthly as we have no real need for it, and in some twisted way I see it as the government giving something back to the children they're screwing over anyways. By the time they're 18 they should have a decent amount to put towards a house deposit or university tuition if they so choose.
My wife and i opened savings accounts for both our girls when they were babies and we split the child support we get for them into both accounts monthly as we have no real need for it, and in some twisted way I see it as the government giving something back to the children they're screwing over anyways. By the time they're 18 they should have a decent amount to put towards a house deposit or university tuition if they so choose.
Soldato
Thats a leap..
From sons and daughters being made to pay something for their own upkeep once earning and still live at home, to suggesting people are arrogant and stupid an saying that men and women are exactly the same...
So much of a leap infact that, are you, can you, leap over a building in a single bound?
Are you in fact Superman?
Don't know about the other fathers in here that have daughters, but my daughter knows she is a girl, knows the difference between the two and knows that they both have their strengths and weaknesses, for you to suggest that we're off on some sort of 'Woke roadtrip' simply for wanting both sexes to pay something to contribute to the house is, well, a leap..
Are you suggesting that once she is of age I should be marrying her off to the first rich guy she meets and start churning out babies?
Soldato
Paid it since i've had a job. Had jobs ever since i was about 12.
A) interest rates were higher in the 80's relatively and my family struggled so hard with my parents working split shifts as couldn't afford babysitters.
B) Used to lend them money if needed and they ALWAYS paid it back even if they needed it more.
C) Gave me a great work and money ethic. The financial crashes, energy crisis etc affected me very minimally because i was taught to plan. Never done the low variable rates because as my parents taught me in the 80's 'all good things come to an end so make sure you are ready for it' because they suffered enormously in the 80's working all the overtime going and multiple jobs if needed. They never took a hand out or claimed anything and that rubbed off on me, if they borrowed they always paid it back. I'd do whatever job going at the time if needed with no shame.
D) They used to charge me a minor amount really - £100 a month in 90's increasing to £200 a month, roughly 25% of my wages at the time. My parents used to pay 50% of their wages so i got it easy. I'd be expecting that to be roughly £300-400 a month nowadays if i had kids.
I was speaking in a more general sense at the derisory tone taken towards traditional gender roles, the general direction of "progressive" culture; which seems to be headed in the amalgamation of women and mens roles by attacking anything and anyone masculine and pushing every woman to be a "girl boss". There wasn't an attack on anyone in here.
Soldato
I was speaking in a more general sense at the derisory tone taken towards traditional gender roles, the general direction of "progressive" culture; which seems to be headed in the amalgamation of women and mens roles by attacking anything and anyone masculine and pushing every woman to be a "girl boss". There wasn't an attack on anyone in here.
There is no 'tone' here, its text, what people mean when they type something is very much taken based on the mood of the person reading it and not always as the typist intended.
There is no general sense aimed at gender roles, but I don't see why sons/daughters should pay a different level of board/keep or whatever you want to call it, its not like its a huge amount of money but it starts to set the offspring up for paying for things when they move out, some people here stick it in a savings account and then it gets given back to them at a later date, usually unknown to them at the time, the idea being that you have a job, you arent in school, there's no reason why you should expect to live under someone else's roof, be kept warm dry and fed, and all this be free when you have a job...
To talk in 'general sense' especially when your comments are so far from what is actually being discussed just comes across as trolling...
Man of Honour
Liar.
Caporegime
No. You said in your first comment that you would set different standards for your sons versus daughters even though you started from a position of fiscal responsibility being important. You were right on the concept but had already reduced your own argument and then kept digging.
I apologised if my tone was antagonistic, which in hindsight it was, and we should all have our opinions. Don't call me a liar for convenience.
Man of Honour
You could have saved us all some time and explained that you are a bare faced liar.