Family dispute incoming

SuperElectric said:
Bars :cool:

It's fascinating to me to see other people's perspective on inheritance. I couldn't imagine resenting my parents over something like this :confused:

A parents legacy isn't, imo, their estate value. They can burn it all, if that's what they want.

EDIT: You already have a home that you expect to pay off before retirement age? And you want more? Sounds a little greedy to me, just saying.
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Funnily enough, two weeks ago I was around a friend's house on a games night and inheritance came up. Friend 1 told a horror story about his nan's death and the fall out from that. Then everyone else chipped in with similar.

I told them it was all sunshine and lollipops with my mum and it was a simple 50/50, though with my sister living in the holiday home, I'd probably have to write it off or do a deal.

Well, it's up to you if you think it's greedy. As I've said, I got lied to. That's what's getting to me.
 
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Stumble Bum said:
And people aren't obliged to maintain a relationship with their mother. You're deluded if you think this is normal behaviour from a parent. It's completely immoral to treat one child vastly different to the other without very good cause. Especially to hide the fact as well.
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You're deluded if you think parents are obligated to discuss their financial decisions with their children just 'because'.

All the people involved here are fully grown adults, with their own lives, free to make their own decisions for their own reasons without having to run it past an uninvolved party.

If my parents wanted to sell my sister a half price house, that's between them, it has nothing to do with me and I have no right to have any say or even be informed that they've chosen to do that. The same would be true in reverse. Maybe they already have, I wouldn't know because it has absolutely **** all to do with me.

All this "it's not fair" talk feels more suited to toddlers arguing about who had more chicken nuggets for dinner.
 
potatolord said:
My mum has told me her will is 50/50, which is pretty annoying given this...
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I was the other way, I was told I was getting nothing then got 33% which I felt guilty about because I would say my sister deserved 80% at least.
My sister was OK with it and wouldn't have anything back.
I understand why you're upset, take no notice of Magnolia, he comes here to s*** post.
 
Let it go.

There is nothing good comes from confronting her about it. There is no answer she can give that will make you happy. Perhaps she lied was because she knows how you would feel about her decision, and turns out she is right.

May be she gave it to your sister knowing she will never be able to afford it in the current climate and this takes care of one children. If you have your own house then she thinks you can take care of yourself fine. It can be simple as that.
 
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Raymond Lin said:
Let it go.

There is nothing good comes from confronting her about it. There is no answer she can give that will make you happy. Perhaps she lied was because she knows how you would feel about her decision, and turns out she is right.

May be she gave it to her sister knowing she will never be able to afford it in the current climate and this takes care of one children. If you have your own house then she thinks you can take care of yourself fine. It can be simple as that.
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What a good post, just really thoughtful. Thanks for that.

I can't let it go, unfortunately. I have to know why she couldn't talk to me.
 
SuperElectric said:
A parents legacy isn't, imo, their estate value. They can burn it all, if that's what they want.
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100% agree with this, it's the fact there is the potential that one sibling has been given a significant sum while the other hasn't.

My dad gave me a decent sum when i had a young family, but he made sure to give my brother the same.
 
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My mates dad was a welder at tvr. He died his wife git dementia and the house has some sort of government lean on for her care. So he will likely get nothing.
 
potatolord said:
I have to know why she couldn't talk to me.
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Consider in advance what your response will be if the answer is "because what I decide to gift/sell to your sister is between me and her, it's not your business and you're not entitled to be told or asked about it".

"but it's not fair if she gets more than me" will just come across as petty/bitter/jealous and probably serve only to reinforce the idea that she was better off not involving you to start with...
 
Raymond Lin said:
Chances are your mother does not see the dollar sign on the property, rather than simply the question of "are my children taken care of".
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But a good parent shouldn't favour one over the other. Hopefully a chat between them will get this out in the open. What comes of that chat remains to be seen.
 
Raymond Lin said:
Let it go.

There is nothing good comes from confronting her about it. There is no answer she can give that will make you happy. Perhaps she lied was because she knows how you would feel about her decision, and turns out she is right.

May be she gave it to your sister knowing she will never be able to afford it in the current climate and this takes care of one children. If you have your own house then she thinks you can take care of yourself fine. It can be simple as that.
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On the other hand maybe the feelings would be different if it was all in the open before decisions were made?
 
Kenai said:
Consider in advance what your response will be if the answer is "because what I decide to gift/sell to your sister is between me and her, it's not your business and you're not entitled to be told or asked about it".

"but it's not fair if she gets more than me" will just come across as petty/bitter/jealous and probably serve only to reinforce the idea that she was better off not involving you to start with...
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Yeah, i do have to think out a few scenarios. That's one of them.

As I said, I want to get to the bottom if why she didn't want to tell me/ has been lying to me. It may be I'll hear things I don't like, but that's life, eh?

I also need to not drop my auntie in it, so need to come up with a reason for bringing it up.
 
My mother did something similar but with a less amount. Hurt a bit because she new i was having problems at the time and needed some money.

Think you just have to suck it up. It wont change anything
 
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