Family dispute incoming

Nothing makes family and friends show their true colours like money does.

Selling a house for less than market value will quickly have the tax folks and the financial police knocking on your door and the solicitor involved (who’s paid by the state) will be asked to explain themselves as well.
 
Terminal_Boy said:
Nothing makes family and friends show their true colours like money does.

Selling a house for less than market value will quickly have the tax folks and the financial police knocking on your door and the solicitor involved (who’s paid by the state) will be asked to explain themselves as well.
Click to expand...

Never would have thought 10 years ago that my extended family would be torn up over money. But here we are.
 
I honestly don't care about any inheritance, I've even told my mother a few times to sell her house and downsize to something smaller, this would leave her with more money. Told her then she can go on cruises and enjoy life while she can.

I'll just let my brother and sister fall out about it. Far too much drama for me for a few quid!
 
Last edited:
potatolord said:
This is my worry- I have to talk about it, but am worried it will go very badly indeed.

It's the lying that gets to me.
Click to expand...
Why do you HAVE to? Move on.

The lying is probably because the fear of this level of reaction.

Who cares? I don't give an arse what my parents do with their property or assets. Give them to charity for all I care. It's theirs to do with what they want.

It sounds like you feel something is "unfair" but it just is what it is... why do you feel so deeply bothered by it?
 
ivrytwr3 said:
But a good parent shouldn't favour one over the other. Hopefully a chat between them will get this out in the open. What comes of that chat remains to be seen.
Click to expand...
I disagree. A good parent isn't about favouring one or another, it's making sure your kids are ok. The fact that people see this as something that has to be "fair" is just all in their own heads. Why does it matter? Oh, you get an ice cream, so I better get them one too so they don't feel I don't love them?! I think people need to grow up in their emotional maturity a bit.
 
Aren't families great? We have an issue where the executor of a will has kept a load of the money and not adhered to the deceased's wishes. Problem is the sums involved would be swallowed up by legal action so nobody wants to follow it up.
 
potatolord said:
What a good post, just really thoughtful. Thanks for that.

I can't let it go, unfortunately. I have to know why she couldn't talk to me.
Click to expand...
From your reaction here, it sounds pretty obvious why she couldn't tell you. The fact that you can't let it go and refuse to gives some level of indication as to her thoughts on your response if she told you prior.

Answer this: If she had told you before it happened, what would your response have been?
 
sprite1275 said:
All I know with my mum is she can do what she wants with her money I'd rather her enjoy it. I'll never expect anything from her.
Click to expand...

This is fair, it's her money she can spend it how she likes, my issue would be if the inheritance angle meant that she was "spending" it by unfairly distributing it to people without good cause/discussion/reason.

If she's spending it on herself then sure, go for it.

Freakbro said:
Long story about why, but it ties in with the other family thread where I said my siblings are ****s (imo) and I have nothing to do with them.

I think my folks only have contact with 1 of the others nowadays and they're just a waste of space.
Click to expand...

Right, so this is the usual sort of reason for this.

In the case of the OP though this doesn't sound like the issue here, and if anything he does more for his parents than his sister, who was gifted the house for cheap.
 
HungryHippos said:
my issue would be if the inheritance angle meant that she was "spending" it by unfairly distributing it to people without good cause/discussion/reason.
Click to expand...
Its the parents money. They can spend it or distribute it how they want and they dont need to justify any cause, reason or have any discussion if they dont want to.
 
This is one of those threads that make me embarrassed of OCUK and 1000x worse than anything on Facebook with some of the replies with Magnolia being an absolute are as usual.
OP was told he was getting 50% and then finds out the house is gone, he has every right to ask why.

Like I said earlier, I'm exactly the other way, I can't ask my Mum why she went back on her word of giving me nothing to suddenly giving me 33% in the will and it's been a constant source of mental anxiety since because my Sister should have had everything.
 
Last edited:
200sols said:
Its the parents money. They can spend it or distribute it how they want and they dont need to justify any cause, reason or have any discussion if they dont want to.
Click to expand...

Sure but then you may reap what you sow.

My parents have always treated all of us fairly, if they help one of us out with money they'll send all of us some!

I mentioned it earlier in the thread but my younger sister probably needs help the most, as she has no property/means of getting one, but I've made sacrifices to get mine, and she has spent all of her wages almost as fast as they come in.

I'd not mind helping her out if needed when push comes to shove, if it's an uneven split to get there then I could be OK with that, but I'd like to be part of that discussion.

Above all by the way, I strongly feel that money can't replace people, and this is all theoretical, I'd much rather have my parents than their money.
 
randomshenans said:
Why do you HAVE to? Move on.

The lying is probably because the fear of this level of reaction.

Who cares? I don't give an arse what my parents do with their property or assets. Give them to charity for all I care. It's theirs to do with what they want.

It sounds like you feel something is "unfair" but it just is what it is... why do you feel so deeply bothered by it?
Click to expand...

I'm so bothered as my mum has lied to me. I'll have to talk to her about it now and am not sure how that's going to go. That could have been avoided with a chat before.

If she had given it to charity, I would have less of an issue.

It's her money and her decision, but I don't know why she made it or couldn't tell me. If she'd told me, I could have asked her why. If she'd said "she needs it more than you", I would have had to accept that. As it stands, I have no idea.

Bit of background: around ten years ago, my mum gave my sister around £20k of jewellery (family heirlooms) on the grounds they go down the female side of the family. I accepted that and it's never been an issue. This is why I don't understand why she didn't tell me this time.
 
SexyGreyFox said:
This is one of those threads that make me embarrassed of OCUK and 1000x worse than anything on Facebook with some of the replies with Magnolia being an absolute are as usual.
OP was told he was getting 50% and then finds out the house is gone, he has every right to ask why.

Like I said earlier, I'm exactly the other way, I can't ask my Mum why she went back on her word of giving me nothing to suddenly giving me 33% in the will and it's been a constant source of mental anxiety since because my Sister should have had everything.
Click to expand...
No.

Read the thread properly.
 
potatolord said:
I'm so bothered as my mum has lied to me. I'll have to talk to her about it now and am not sure how that's going to go. That could have been avoided with a chat before.
Click to expand...

If I were you I would consider finding a way of asking the question without going in guns blazing, because there *could* be more to this than you are aware of.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom