Married 28 years. Mostly separate beds these days unless my eldest is back from uni. Wife snores since menopause and I can't tune it out very easily. My German Shepherd occasionally comes in at about 530am but normally he gets too hot and only stays for half an hour. Seems common. I'm resigned to it.
How do you go to sleep with your partner?
- Thread starter SexyGreyFox
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Most of the time at the same time. We have two double duvets, so each person has a separate duvet doubled. That was she can’t steal the duvet, she can can have multiple layers of duvet, 7kg over blanket (filled with glass beads) etc and I can vary the layers for me - usually a single layer. I know if she’s cold as she snuggles up leaving me with about a foot of bed of bed to sleep on.
She used to snore but since doing a load of exercise that’s gone thankfully.
She used to snore but since doing a load of exercise that’s gone thankfully.
Married 35 years (where did all that time go...? 
). Pretty much always gone to bed together (between 11pm-midnight nowadays) and slept together - apart from when I've been working away, illness, occasionally during menopause/night sweats (her, not me 
and thankfully behind us now).
I often wake up earlier in the morning than her now though - guess I don't need as much sleep nowadays.
). Pretty much always gone to bed together (between 11pm-midnight nowadays) and slept together - apart from when I've been working away, illness, occasionally during menopause/night sweats (her, not me and thankfully behind us now).I often wake up earlier in the morning than her now though - guess I don't need as much sleep nowadays.
Married 15 years and same bed and essentially same time (she takes a while getting herself ready with lotions and potions compared to tooth brush strip naked and jump in)
we do have a superking and find with small beds on holiday that sleep is often poor.
She offers to sleep in another room if bad cough or something, but I think I’d sleep worse without her overall so I always decline her offer
we do have a superking and find with small beds on holiday that sleep is often poor.
She offers to sleep in another room if bad cough or something, but I think I’d sleep worse without her overall so I always decline her offer
We mostly go to bed and sleep at different times but always same bed , unless my snoring is extremely bad then she will shift to the spare room , if she’s sick the I will spend time in bed with her until she’s nodding off but then I will head to the spare room to ensure she has a good chance to get a decent sleep
We have a super king bed but the missus still manages to invade and occupy my side leaving me a tiny slither
We have a super king bed but the missus still manages to invade and occupy my side leaving me a tiny slither
Soldato
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Scandanavian style
i suffer from sleep apnea so have a CPAP machine keeping me breathing while i sleep which annoys her. She snores like a brass band anyway. We stay in the big bed together chatting, watchign tv or "other" but when its sleep time i sleep in the small room.
Caporegime
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Never, apart from loads of times!Ten years together....
Never seperate, maybe a few nights because of business trips, arguments, falling asleep on the sofa
Can't believe how many people don't sleep in the same bed as their spouses, didn't even realise this was a thing. Married the wrong pussy is my assumption. Just get a massive emperor zip and link bed and a good comfortable set of ear plugs, and you can carry on actually sleeping in the same room as your wife.
When I stop wanting to I'll just divorce her and find someone younger / hotter.
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mostly at the same time, in the same bed...
don't see the point of a relationship if your sleeping in bed alone..
maybe when your 60+ sure but anyone in there 40s 50s sleeping in separate beds, should probably have just separated imo.
can't be all that compatible
don't see the point of a relationship if your sleeping in bed alone..
maybe when your 60+ sure but anyone in there 40s 50s sleeping in separate beds, should probably have just separated imo.
can't be all that compatible
Soldato
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Wife and I decided to see if we slept better separately about 5 years ago and we did, so we carried on. Mainly during the week when we need better sleep. We kip together on the weekends.
I know loads of parents that do the same, 40's / 50's.
I know loads of parents that do the same, 40's / 50's.
Caporegime
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But how do you bang in the week? I bet she locks her door.
physical intimacy is all one sided no doubt when separate beds are needed.
if both parties had the savings and could afford to easily move out then would one of them?
is it going through the emotions in a dead relationship? and now living as room mates? just too much hard work to move out.
to me it doesn't seem like the signs of a healthy couple, am I misunderstanding?
do you feel less loyal sleeping in separate beds? or is the actual commitment still there?
I don't mean this personally to papalazaru just generally if anyone who sleeps in separate beds can explain it.
outside of someone being a terrible snorer I can't fathom it
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Caporegime
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We have been together 18 years and go to bed most nights at the same time.
Exceptions when the footie is on late night I might stay up a little later.
In our early years juggling our first born I worked nights and she worked days for about 4 years. That was a bit like ships passing in the night but it had to be done as we had no family support with the child. Once we both ended up working on days we did end up buying a super king bed as we got used to having a double all to our own.
When I worked nights I used to cuddle up with my dog sleeping through the day but the missus put an end to that when we both went back together on days. I do miss that a little as dogs are just incredible to cuddle up to unless they have had the runs all tangled up in their bum fur.
Exceptions when the footie is on late night I might stay up a little later.
In our early years juggling our first born I worked nights and she worked days for about 4 years. That was a bit like ships passing in the night but it had to be done as we had no family support with the child. Once we both ended up working on days we did end up buying a super king bed as we got used to having a double all to our own.
When I worked nights I used to cuddle up with my dog sleeping through the day but the missus put an end to that when we both went back together on days. I do miss that a little as dogs are just incredible to cuddle up to unless they have had the runs all tangled up in their bum fur.
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Soldato
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The genreal stresses of life and her working US hours put paid to that!
Soldato
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That is a pretty short sighted view. People are busier than ever before whether you want it or not, and sleep deprivation helps nothing. Our relationship is no doubt better for the fact that we both sleep better and are less tired. That's the way I see it. Sharing a bed is an old concept. Like I said, I know plenty of other couples in solid relationships that do the same. We still 'bang'
Soldato
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I've long argued for separate beds/rooms to be accepted, and seems like more and more it is.
We've never shared a bed other than at the beginning when she first would stay over, or the one time we tried a super king for a week before sending it back.
I used to want my own room, but have got used to sharing a room. We do however have completely separate beds. 2 doubles, pushed right up against each other, so it just looks like one massive bed.
We also go to bed and wake up as vastly different times, with a difference of about 3/4 hours each end.
Someone pointed out about how you get benefits from having good sleep and it honestly is such a bonus. The difference in moods for us is so clear after having good sleep.
I should add we do however nap together a lot, at least on weekends but also in the week day if we match being home early enough. And this we do snuggled together, so still have time to bond while asleep.
I strongly suggest people try sleeping in 2 beds and see how they get on and if their sleep improves.
We've never shared a bed other than at the beginning when she first would stay over, or the one time we tried a super king for a week before sending it back.
I used to want my own room, but have got used to sharing a room. We do however have completely separate beds. 2 doubles, pushed right up against each other, so it just looks like one massive bed.
We also go to bed and wake up as vastly different times, with a difference of about 3/4 hours each end.
Someone pointed out about how you get benefits from having good sleep and it honestly is such a bonus. The difference in moods for us is so clear after having good sleep.
I should add we do however nap together a lot, at least on weekends but also in the week day if we match being home early enough. And this we do snuggled together, so still have time to bond while asleep.
I strongly suggest people try sleeping in 2 beds and see how they get on and if their sleep improves.