Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!

[paradisiac]

You are putting yourself down at every point and making an issue of SIMPLE things like taking a photo. I mean really "How do I do this, do I lose half my face from being side on" (paraphrased). Goodness grief, just get on with it man! Your face now looks 10x better without the goatee, but the pics still look bad... your pose it just awkward in every photo (first photo is awful in the way it frames your features, the second photo you're not even looking into the camera) and you need more close-ups of your face, from the side profile as previously suggested. It really is not rocket science to look at other peoples photos on POF, and Facebook and emulate what they are doing.

Also in my amended profile (which I know wasn't perfect, I was in a rush) I made a couple of spelling and grammar errors "along way from Paul McCartney". Change it to "a long".

I really had my confidence knocked by my ex, I suppose I am a lot more self conscious now.
I still don't know about the lack of goatee, I think it makes my face look huge, and photos seem to give me a magic extra chin (I swear I cant see it in the mirror).

 

[Narj]

I didnt even know the Guardian have a dating site

How many pesetas is is?

I'm sure there are some "interesting" people on there.

I tried dating someone who had political views along those lines once. It didn't last long.

 

[The Funktopus]

Snip

That's really helpful, thanks. I've been able to come up with the below based on your advice, I was just wondering how you thought that would go down as a first contact message?

Spoiler

Hi there,

I’m Mike, I’m 28 and I from salubrious Widnes too, and from reading you profile, I was hoping I could perhaps find out a bit more about you.

I too can’t say I’m exactly a fitness fanatic, but I do go to the gym under sufferance (which sadist called it the leisure industry eh?). I haven’t been around the world three times either, but about 2/3rd’s of the way, which took me just under four months and consisted of me breaking things, then frantically going about fixing them before anyone else found out!

So, whereabouts do you like heading out to on your nights out then? Personally, I’m more of a Liverpool man, I love the pubs on Dale Street, but if I’m out and about in Widnes, there’s a certain inevitability about starting in Wetherspoons, moving onto the then the Corner House, and finally, Beat Bar. That’s the problem with such a small town, a lack of choice. However, it’s still home and I do miss it when I’m away.

Cheers.

 

[Richdog]

I really had my confidence knocked by my ex, I suppose I am a lot more self conscious now.
I still don't know about the lack of goatee, I think it makes my face look huge, and photos seem to give me a magic extra chin (I swear I cant see it in the mirror).

Your face is too young-looking and boyish to pull off a goatee, it really didn't suit you at all. If you are bothered about your face looking fat, then go on a diet for a couple of months and lose some weight.

 

[paradisiac]

Your face is too young-looking and boyish to pull off a goatee, it really didn't suit you at all. If you are bothered about your face looking fat, then go on a diet for a couple of months and lose some weight.

I am on a diet, have been now for 7 months so its a lot better than it was.

I never know how to take 'young-looking' comments. obviously I don't want to be 29 and look 50, but I don't want to look 18 either.

 

[Richdog]

I am on a diet, have been now for 7 months so its a lot better than it was.

I never know how to take 'young-looking' comments. obviously I don't want to be 29 and look 50, but I don't want to look 18 either.

Trust me, when you get to your early thirties you will be whooping and punching the air for having a young looking, unlined face.

 

[Narj]

Trust me, when you get to your early thirties you will be whooping and punching the air for having a young looking, unlined face.

Hrm, I'm in that position and quite young looking (people think I'm about 23-25) and I'm not sure if I like it or not tbh.

 

[HummuH1]

Well, after meeting a girl 11 days ago, we've seen each other 10 times and things are becoming more relationshippy.

Can't quite believe I've met someone so quickly who pretty much ticks all the boxes.

I can only **** it up from here.

 

[Kimi]

Thats the spirit, only ways down from here mate. lol

 

[ljt]

I really had my confidence knocked by my ex, I suppose I am a lot more self conscious now.
I still don't know about the lack of goatee, I think it makes my face look huge, and photos seem to give me a magic extra chin (I swear I cant see it in the mirror).

The reason you have an "extra chin" is because of the harsh flash from the camera, it casts shadows everywhere, its also why you get that "rabbit caught in the headlights" look too. You need a well lit room with plenty of natural light so you can switch the flash off.

 

[paradisiac]

The reason you have an "extra chin" is because of the harsh flash from the camera, it casts shadows everywhere, its also why you get that "rabbit caught in the headlights" look too. You need a well lit room with plenty of natural light so you can switch the flash off.

my latest pics are without the flash, and I don't think its as noticeable now, but the pics are a bit more grainy.

 

[ChroniC]

Grrrrr getting anry with the hot and cold nature of the women on POF. Met a veru nice girl, perfect for me, spent two dates together, both long, both really great. Things going very smoothly and was prepared to meet again, she cancelled the 3rd one and said she had to help her mum then no reply to texts....
On to the next one it seems.

I find it terribly rude not to tell someone the truth.

 

[Narj]

I find it terribly rude not to tell someone the truth.

It's also odd when conversation seems to be flowing, quite a lot of laughs, then you suggest meeting up and then it goes deathly silent.

I've deleted anyways, it was only out of curiosity and it's more entertaining to read other peoples' stories.

 

[ChroniC]

This was worse than that, we had go most of the way! Had been under the stars etc, everything you'd want for a whirlwind romance. She text me saying we should rearrange for this week, then nothing. I haven't pestered as I find that off putting, text once then waited a day, text again then nothing so have given up.
I sacked off two other potentials as well I was so confident. Grr, going to have to try and see if I can reignite those, serves me right for not playing the field too.

 

[Narj]

I sacked off two other potentials as well I was so confident. Grr, going to have to try and see if I can reignite those, serves me right for not playing the field too.

I suppose this is one thing that's massively different between "normal" dating and "online" dating. With the online equivalent, people are constantly looking so you're possibly going to get "gazumped" when they think they've found a better prospect, regardless of how well it seems to be going.

If you met someone at a club where you have a common interest, for example, chances are they aren't actively being chased by hundreds of other members of the opposite sex while you're dating, which will improve your chances of it going somewhere somewhat.

 

[ChroniC]

Your probably right, I often go on several first dates, but if I see potential and it hits a good second with plans for a 3rd, I normally don't then go on others.

 

[InKursion]

I'm sure there are some "interesting" people on there.

I tried dating someone who had political views along those lines once. It didn't last long.

The 'political views' of the Guardian? The Guardian is one of the most central, liberal papers in the entire country. It's hardly a bastion of far-right opinion, or some lefty progressive Marxist pamphlet. I'm not sure how you could really disagree with anyone that reads the Guardian because of their politics... isn't it just the generic, metropolitan middle-class liberals? Very middle of the road.

Anyway the women on there are generally better educated, better looked after / better looking, and have actual interests. Half of the munters on sites like POF are posing in their tracksuit bottoms with half of their gross appendages hanging out everywhere. Plus their interests mostly revolve around Geordie Shore and spray-tanning.

Also it's £30 a month! That's the bad part.

 

[regulus]

Trust me, when you get to your early thirties you will be whooping and punching the air for having a young looking, unlined face.

That's right. I'm 32 and when I ask new people I meet to guess my age, the invariably say 'well I'm going to be nice and guess on the low/safe side. 37?'

It's the greying hair man. It's the hair.

 

[regulus]

On another note. I noticed my profile on OkCupid is having the desirable effect. Have 5 messages to service. Hoping to nail at least 3 of them.

 

[paradisiac]

On another note. I noticed my profile on OkCupid is having the desirable effect. Have 5 messages to service. Hoping to nail at least 3 of them.

what sites (ideally free) do you recommend?

im starting to go grey too, its scary, im not even 30