Living with men 'makes women fat'

Piggymon · 7 Apr 2006 at 12:07

Been busy at work so been unable to reply

I will admit to being a touch sensitive to any " fat " remarks because at the moment I weigh heavier than I used to and I am trying really really hard to get back to what I was before ...

Women really are under so much pressure these days to look a perfect size 6 or 8 !!!

We blame it on the media to make ourselves feel better and rest safe in the knowledge that the men in the world prefer curvy to stick thin but then there are comments made where real live men seem to be saying you HAVE to be that size 6/8 or else you're fat and overweight

I'm not overweight but I am bigger than what I used to be so therefore I feel overweight

It does seem sometimes that feelings are forgotton in this place and that this is not a private boy's club or a conversation down the pub .. real women ( yes they do exsist on the interweb ) can and do read these comments and be hurt and upset and then think themselves as not good enough

I do apologise for being snappy this morning and I do accept that I am being sensitive about these things but I just can't help it

Davey_Pitch · 7 Apr 2006 at 12:09

Sinead, I know that you feel overweight and nothing anyone can say will change that, but rest assured I don't think anyone on this planet would look at you and think you're fat. You've got a lovely figure, I personally don't think it needs changing. Though, if you could manage to grow a little, that wouldn't hurt

theleg · 7 Apr 2006 at 12:12

fatiain said:
So if MB is a Feminazi, does this make you a Fat-scist?

I dunno what I am hehe...

Ive always had a problem with my weight...Im currently a fat biffer, but the last few years ive learnt to keep it off...It will drop off again soon..

I dislike the attitudes of the vast majority of fat people in the UK..I dislike how being fat has become acceptable and people constantly try and justify it. If its a choice between hurting someones feelings and them not dying of heart failure at 40, ill choose the feelings..

Having lived abroad in a culture where overweight people pretty much dont exist, ive seen what the UK is these days...and it scares the hell out of me.

Ive no idea what youd class me as

Piggymon · 7 Apr 2006 at 12:14

Davey_Pitch said:
Sinead, I know that you feel overweight and nothing anyone can say will change that, but rest assured I don't think anyone on this planet would look at you and think you're fat. You've got a lovely figure, I personally don't think it needs changing. Though, if you could manage to grow a little, that wouldn't hurt

I feel like Orville except I'll never grow instead of never flying

With the weight thing , I am getting there and last night down the gym I wore my funky new combat work out trousers and * shock horror * a bra top and I didn't feel bad about my belly

I'm just sensitive at the moment about it all :/

Matblack · 7 Apr 2006 at 12:15

Davey_Pitch said:
Sinead, I know that you feel overweight and nothing anyone can say will change that, but rest assured I don't think anyone on this planet would look at you and think you're fat. You've got a lovely figure, I personally don't think it needs changing. Though, if you could manage to grow a little, that wouldn't hurt

I agree

and I agree with Sinead, the majority of REAL pressure to be thin is put on women BY women, if it wasn't perpetuated by womens magazines and fashion then its likely that mens interpretation of the perfect figure would change as fashion changed to accomodate a larger figure. It will never swing the other way but if you look at the 40/50s thin wasn't 'in' the sex symbols had proper woman bodies.

I have seen in some of the young people I work with and speaking to older women the damage that media pressure can cause. Women who are a perfectly nice shape and size reduced to emotional wrecks by the pressure put on them to be thin.

Its not guys on the internet which cause the damage but they do perpetuate it.

I'm not bidding for a world where everyone is overweight, I just want a world where people are not judged as being beautiful based on being drastically under weight which is what we have at the moment. It would be nice if people could walk down the street and not have people post on the internet that they saw a fat person today and have people laugh along with the joke, or someone suggest that we should post pics of fatties so we can all have a laugh. I'm with you on the health thing Balddog I really am, but the venom that people attack overweight people (who aren't nessesarily morbidly obease) is very depressing.

MB

Davey_Pitch · 7 Apr 2006 at 12:22

Piggymon said:
I feel like Orville except I'll never grow instead of never flying

With the weight thing , I am getting there and last night down the gym I wore my funky new combat work out trousers and * shock horror * a bra top and I didn't feel bad about my belly

I'm just sensitive at the moment about it all :/

Heh, you can stand by me for a while in Essex, if that doesn't make you feel thin, nothing will

SexyBetty · 7 Apr 2006 at 12:23

Shoseki said:
As I said, be more active. Burn those calories.

I had a bloke at work tell me, to burn more calories, I had to be more "Cowgirl" Took me a minute to twig what he was on about

Bloody pervert

Kell_ee001 · 7 Apr 2006 at 12:32

SexyBetty said:
Took me a minute to twig what he was on about

Yeah, sure, we believe you

theleg · 7 Apr 2006 at 12:32

Matblack said:
I'm not bidding for a world where everyone is overweight, I just want a world where people are not judged as being beautiful based on being drastically under weight which is what we have at the moment. It would be nice if people could walk down the street and not have people post on the internet that they saw a fat person today and have people laugh along with the joke, or someone suggest that we should post pics of fatties so we can all have a laugh. I'm with you on the health thing Balddog I really am, but the venom that people attack overweight people (who aren't nessesarily morbidly obease) is very depressing.

I dont believe we do class beautiful as drastically underweight...Fashion models are not our ideals of beauty...I dont know ANYONE who thinks they are. Ask any guy on the street whether hed rather have rachel stevens or someone like jodie kidd, id put money on 99% saying stevens.

I dont know what you mean about laughing on the net...There are so many fat people in england that seeing one on the street is nothing out of the usual...I see hundreds on a daily basis when im home.

Murf · 7 Apr 2006 at 13:29

Balddog said:
I dont believe we do class beautiful as drastically underweight...Fashion models are not our ideals of beauty...I dont know ANYONE who thinks they are. Ask any guy on the street whether hed rather have rachel stevens or someone like jodie kidd, id put money on 99% saying stevens.

I dont know what you mean about laughing on the net...There are so many fat people in england that seeing one on the street is nothing out of the usual...I see hundreds on a daily basis when im home.

I agree. I don't know anybody who prefers size 6 models over 'real' women. If women are targetting that kind of size cos they think that's what men want then they're wrong. Give me the hour glass figure anyday.

Matblack · 7 Apr 2006 at 13:35

Murf said:
I agree. I don't know anybody who prefers size 6 models over 'real' women. If women are targetting that kind of size cos they think that's what men want then they're wrong. Give me the hour glass figure anyday.

Unfortunately this is not what is portrayed by womens magazines, as I said these are a major component in the problem.

You've seen the headlines

Posh gains an gram

How to look like a supermodel in 3 days with our vomit yourself thin plan

laxatives: the fool proof method to weight loss

I don't think the blame lies at the door of ordinary blokes but the media image of beauty and that of normal men is very different, the problem is that some women base the ideas of 'fat' on these supermodel examples and think that when a bloke says 'fat', it applies to them.

Makes it very hard to use the work fat because there is a disparity in its meaning across the sexes

MB

Murf · 7 Apr 2006 at 13:40

Matblack said:
Unfortunately this is not what is portrayed by womens magazines, as I said these are a major component in the problem.

You've see the headlines

As I said I don't think the blame lies at the door of ordinary blokes but the media image of beauty and that of normal men is very different, the problem is that some women base the ideas of 'fat' on these supermodel examples and think that when some one says fat, it applies to them.

MB

A lot of mags these days appear to rip down the models who look anorexic, so I think the 'ideal size' portrayed by mags is changing though. The hour glass figure is making a comeback, albeit a slow one.

I see mags with photos of men, who quite frankly look a million times better than me. It certainly doesn't get me as bent out of shape as women get over photos of females. Why is that?

Matblack · 7 Apr 2006 at 13:44

Murf said:
A lot of mags these days appear to rip down the models who look anorexic, so I think the 'ideal size' portrayed by mags is changing though. The hour glass figure is making a comeback, albeit a slow one.

I see mags with photos of men, who quite frankly look a million times better than me. It certainly doesn't get me as bent out of shape as women get over photos of females. Why is that?

We just don't tend to react in the same way, in adition to this women have it drumed into them from all angles, TV ads, car ads, clothing sizes, in fact just about any media image a woman will be exposed to the 'attractiveness' of the woman will be proportional to their lot in life, a few more mens magazines publicising being hunky just doesn't compare.

Have a wander down the high st and you will see what I mean, the male form appears very infrequently the female form is used to sell just about everything.

MB

wordy · 7 Apr 2006 at 13:53

People come in all shapes and sizes, and there are people that will find each type attractive and hold them as their 'ideal' type so in an ideal world no should feel unattractive about themselves. But as has been stated numerous times in this thread there is enormous pressure placed upon people to try to achieve the 'ideal' that is promoted by the media.

I have not got a problem with people who are overweight, but my opinion is that we have such a wonderful gift in that we are for the most part able bodied people, and such a gift should be looked after. It is widely known that being obese leads to conditions such as diebetes, high bloody pressure heart disease. Yet people continue to turn themselves from normal sized people into people who are that big they run the risk of encountering these problems*.

If you are not happy with your shape for any reason then you are able to do something about it but this requires effort and a lot of people are not willing to make this effort

Sorry if this appears like a bit of a rant but obese people shouldn't be seeking acceptance if it is making them unheathly, they should be trying to make themselves healthier.

* There are people who cannot help their size but I'm talking about the vast magority of people how are obese due to a sedentry lifestyle and rubbish diet

daz · 7 Apr 2006 at 13:55

Some women can also but their health and their size on the back burner whilst they've got a boyfriend (complacency) but when they're chasing someone, they'll go to all lengths to lose a couple of pounds.

Murf · 7 Apr 2006 at 13:56

Matblack said:
We just don't tend to react in the same way, in adition to this women have it drumed into them from all angles, TV ads, car ads, clothing sizes, in fact just about any media image a woman will be exposed to the 'attractiveness' of the woman will be proportional to their lot in life, a few more mens magazines publicising being hunky just doesn't compare.

Have a wander down the high st and you will see what I mean, the male form appears very infrequently the female form is used to sell just about everything.

MB

Agreed. It's taken us a lot of fairly unpleasant conversation to get to this point though, as I feel people can be way too sensitive on the issue.

Who's buying these magazines that perpetuate the stereotype though? It's mainly the women, so maybe if people stopped buying magazines that made them hate their own bodies they'd be in a better state of mind when it comes to their own size.

theleg · 7 Apr 2006 at 13:59

Matblack said:
Unfortunately this is not what is portrayed by womens magazines, as I said these are a major component in the problem.

You've seen the headlines

I don't think the blame lies at the door of ordinary blokes but the media image of beauty and that of normal men is very different, the problem is that some women base the ideas of 'fat' on these supermodel examples and think that when a bloke says 'fat', it applies to them.

Makes it very hard to use the work fat because there is a disparity in its meaning across the sexes

Sorry mate, but ive gotta ask this, have you ever actually seen one of these womens mags? I grew up with em, having a younger sister and I dunno what youre on about..

Girls mags show normal healthy sized girls...They are not the same as fashion magazines. The fashion industry is a law unto itself. Supermodels are not held up as the ultimate in beauty. Not these days anyway.

and no, ive never seen those headlines or anything like them.

I think youre arguing against something that doesnt exist..

Yes the average girl in a womans mag is fit and healthy, but she isnt a stick or like one of the fashion models you see on catwalks, shes a normal, healthy, not overweight girl..

At what point do we stop moving the bar to cater for peoples feelings and insecurities and start putting our foot down and caring about their health?

In a few years, will we have 16stone girls being criticised for being skinny? If the average girl is 25stone, then I dont see why not.

The average woman is getting fatter and fatter. I firmly believe we SHOULD try and make them think being that size is unacceptable.

Davey_Pitch · 7 Apr 2006 at 14:01

Balddog said:
The average woman is getting fatter and fatter. I firmly believe we SHOULD try and make them think being that size is unacceptable.

So you basically want every girl to conform to your vision of what is right? That's good of you.

alexakasloth · 7 Apr 2006 at 14:02

Murf said:
Give me the hour glass figure anyday.

Huba huba! I personally haven't met anyone who wouldn't find a curvatious size 10 attractive.

Matblack · 7 Apr 2006 at 14:03

Murf said:
Agreed. It's taken us a lot of fairly unpleasant conversation to get to this point though, as I feel people can be way too sensitive on the issue.

Who's buying these magazines that perpetuate the stereotype though? It's mainly the women, so maybe if people stopped buying magazines that made them hate their own bodies they'd be in a better state of mind when it comes to their own size.

Just about every woman I know buys these magazines in some shape or form.

Yes, it would be a good idea, but its not going to happen, even with my Feminazi hat on, I'm not going to claim that women are logical creatures.

MB