#MeToo - is it just different for men and women?

Rifte said:
Perhaps my comment did not come across the way I intended.

My point is (similar to what you mentioned) that there are a vast number of woman now equating anything they see fit as 'sexual harassment' because its the flavour of the month and will guarantee them some air time.

These women are genuinely dangerous to this whole **** show we are seeing unravel in the media. It dilutes credibility and integrity. The fable of boy that cried wolf, and when it does really happen no one takes them seriously.

In respect to the leg touching, this was in reference to Fallon. From the information that we have so far he briefly touched her leg. How he did this, why he did this....who knows? Perhaps he read her signal the wrong way, perhaps it was accidental, perhaps he was trying to comfort her, perhaps he is on the spectrum and struggles with how to interact correctly?Perhaps he is a pervert? Or maybe she is a lying b**** with some sort of attention seeking disorder. So many variables to this and if it makes Fallon 'guilty' or an innocent bystander caught in the headlights of the media fury.

To come out and call it how it is though, that a significant proportion of these #metoo ladies are just chancers automatically puts you in the headlights as some sort of enabler to stuff like this when that simply isnt the case.

This always tends to happen with whatever makes the headlines. How dare we question the media tsumani!!!!!
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And that’s where we fundamentally disagree. Do you have any evidence that of those vast numbers, and significant proportion?

There will be a small number of people that lie or overplay their situation, like in any part of our lives. A lot of those are usually quite vocal, but that does not mean vast numbers or significant proportions of the women talking about their experiences are lying.

And as already mentioned in Fallon’s example he appears to have done a lot more than just accidentally brushed someone’s leg.

That leads on to the next point. Why do people suddenly come out of the woodwork? Perhaps because this sort of thing is systematic, and if someone’s done it once then it’s likely they’ve probably done it a lot more, especially if they’ve got away with it in the past. It’s one of the reason the police release the names of suspected rapists, to see if anyone other victims come forward.

Yes I’m sure occasionally someone pretends they’re a victim, but it doesn’t happen often. A lot of the time the floodgates open after media report because people suddenly realize they weren’t an isolated case. Strength in numbers also helps. A single report could be dismissed as overexaggeration/lies, but systematic abuse of multiple people is harder to shuffle under the carpet. That’s especially relevant when they are powerful people.

Rifte said:
On a less serious note (for me anyway), have I had my bottom groped? Yes by a homosexual man and a MILF. Did it bother me?The first punchlined example is in fact a long and elaborate story that always breaks the ice at parties, and it didnt bother me.
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So we all have our stories about how we have been touched/groped inappropriately, and most of us are men. Why do you think then that most of the comments by women are lies? If you’re thinking it’s because groping and slapping of bums isn’t a big deal then that’s a personal matter and related to your ethics, not the law or the ethics/feelings of others. It’s already been explained why many women find this sort of thing significantly more troublesome.

Personally, the real question is alluded to in the OP, why does society seem to deem it acceptable for women (and other men) to act inappropriately towards men. Much like domestic abuse - as much as in both cases it generally is women being affected more - or shouldn’t matter about the sex of the perpetrator or victim.
 
DrToffnar said:
Anyone who thinks that females should just 'take it on the chin'... despicable really.

Yes, spurious claims will be made. Some people are just ****ed up like that. But to suggest that it's all part and parcel of any given working environment is so unbelievably archaic. Then to further suggest that women who don't receive those sorts of remarks need to reflect on who they are... that's just unbelievable to me.

Don't make pig headed, unwarranted advances, verbally or otherwise. Be a decent human being who thinks before they speak. That's about the long and short of it.
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Ironically it’s post like that that give creedance to all the complaints made by so many women, and an example of why complaints by women are taken so seriously in some places.

Edit: Ahh, remember the old days when “banter” used to be when you took the pee out of your mates and got it back in return, rather than being insulting and abuse to random strangers and people you hardly know?
 
NewGamer11 said:
You're conflating two things. Chris is talking about 'comments'. In the case of physical assault or repeated harassment nobody is saying anyone should 'get over it'.

Part of the problem is wooly definitions. 'Harrassment' seems to cover everything from a 'you look nice today' comment all the way up to full blown stalking.
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What’s the definition of “repeated harassment”? Sure, you said once or twice that ‘they looked nice’, but so did the other 30 guys in the building, day in, day out, along with the other less savoury comments.

That’s the situation many women (and men in offices full of predominantly women) face. Not jus the occasional isolated comment from “you”, but a myriad number of “isolated” comments that day, week and month.

Again, the reality is the majority of the issue is not because of a “you look nice” comment, but rather cruder comments, along with perhaps more unsavoury actions.
 
Chris Wilson said:
With this being the 200th post on the subject why do you sound sceptical similar discussions don't take place elsewhere? And why is Vonhelmet working in Dollars? :) I would have expected Euros to be his de facto currency....
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I guess your wife probably does work in Shropshire, which seems to basically be a Narnia of cobblers.

As for euros... I'm not aware that Jeopardy! has been broadcast in a country using euros, but I could be wrong...
 
Caracus2k said:
I do hope you include yourself in that arguably rather disparaging assertion?
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I've already explained my generalisation about men being stronger than women in the majority of cases... I note you didn't respond to that post once I made my comment a bit less general.

As for the other bit, I'm not going to backtrack on that. This thread does certainly feature a bunch of men basically bragging about not being women.
 
SpeedFreak said:
Well at the current rate of attrition the Tory party could be a minority government quite soon.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-41866970
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One way to reverse brexit, or make someone else claim responsibility.
I do not understand how the defence minister can say he has fallen short, yet remain an MP.
Ridiculous, you are either guilty or not, you stay or you go.
Preferably go, remove the DUP power.
 
Vonhelmet said:
I've already explained my generalisation about men being stronger than women in the majority of cases... I note you didn't respond to that post once I made my comment a bit less general.

As for the other bit, I'm not going to backtrack on that. This thread does certainly feature a bunch of men basically bragging about not being women.
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Ah yes that strange fetish where when some men want to talk about how life affects them or want to discuss their opions in forums either entirely or mostly populated by then that it's socially acceptable to denigrate them..... should have just come full out with a 'what about the menz' comment....

It's really very simple... I full well understand that in general terms unsolicited sexual advances/ harassment affects women more then men.... I'm not excusing sexual harassment but I believe the reason for the disparity in the occurrence of such activity is almost solely explained by inherent sexual dimophism between the sexes (for much the same reason as there are far more men in prison for violent offences - sexual dimophism explains the disparity it doesn't excuse the individual for bad behaviour) . Basically women, in generalised terms are not rewarded (in the biological sense) by being more sexually aggressive/ forward... Most men on the other hand have to take more chances to secure a womans attention... In a similar vein, in general terms, men and women value different things when looking for a partner. Men generally place more emphasis on youth and looks and women more generally place more emphasis on power and money when looking for a partner....

The inherent biological landscape is therfore a fertile breeding ground for more male sexual harassment of women then men by the opposite sex....

The problem I have with a lot of modern thought is a belief that differences in behaviour between the sexes can be explained by societal constructed 'edifices' like the 'patriarchy' and not inherent sexual differences.

I also think we are in a period of a bit of moral panic where the prevalence of sexual harassment and certainly the actual effect it has is being overplayed and it's starting to look a bit like a witch hunt....

This thread attests to a truth that men do receive unwanted or at least unsolicited sexual advances from women...

It just doesn't effect men as much generally it would seem
 
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I see what you mean about a moral panic, bit this sort of correction often manifests in that way. As awareness of something comes to the fore there will be a mixture of reactions, some over the top, some understated, some more balanced. The point is that there is a problem, and mocking or deriding those attempting to deal with it only perpetuates it. But hey, it's not surprising. Men are being told they can't misbehave and they don't like it because it's a disruption to the status quo. Men are losing some power that they never deserved to have in the first place, that they had taken by force over thousands of years. It's all progress, but it takes time, and people will buck against it. That's what this thread is, a bunch of men scared that they might have some inappropriate behaviour if there curtailed at some point.
 
Vonhelmet said:
I see what you mean about a moral panic, bit this sort of correction often manifests in that way. As awareness of something comes to the fore there will be a mixture of reactions, some over the top, some understated, some more balanced. The point is that there is a problem, and mocking or deriding those attempting to deal with it only perpetuates it. But hey, it's not surprising. Men are being told they can't misbehave and they don't like it because it's a disruption to the status quo. Men are losing some power that they never deserved to have in the first place, that they had taken by force over thousands of years. It's all progress, but it takes time, and people will buck against it. That's what this thread is, a bunch of men scared that they might have some inappropriate behaviour if there curtailed at some point.
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the issue here is it now seems that simply making an advance towards a woman is being classed as some kind of sexual harassment. Society seems to insist that men make the move but we are now treating people making a move as some kind of sex pest.

This seems to be a common theme these days where something serious gets watered down as a way to attack people. It's the same with the people who scream racist at everybody and everything. Doing this doesn't help anybody and will cause more problems in the long run
 
Vonhelmet said:
I see what you mean about a moral panic, bit this sort of correction often manifests in that way. As awareness of something comes to the fore there will be a mixture of reactions, some over the top, some understated, some more balanced. The point is that there is a problem, and mocking or deriding those attempting to deal with it only perpetuates it. But hey, it's not surprising. Men are being told they can't misbehave and they don't like it because it's a disruption to the status quo. Men are losing some power that they never deserved to have in the first place, that they had taken by force over thousands of years. It's all progress, but it takes time, and people will buck against it. That's what this thread is, a bunch of men scared that they might have some inappropriate behaviour if there curtailed at some point.
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Bunch of namby Pamby pc idiots more like
 
Was listening to R4 at work a few days back and pretty much every ten minutes someone was using the phrase "sex pest."

What on earth is going on in the UK?

A few politicians try it on with women a decade ago at work and suddenly they are scum.
 
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