#MeToo - is it just different for men and women?

[BowdonUK]

Sometimes its how you say something. If you were nervous then it might not have come across in the joking way you meant it.

But then there is always that one woman who will find offense at anything i.e. some women like being called babe, while others will instantly turn around and say "you calling me a pig!?"

 

[stockhausen]

Is it different for men and women?

If you have to ask, you are too immature (or too stupid) to understand.

 

[Angilion]

If you have to ask, you are too immature (or too stupid) to understand.

Or you agree with the radical and extremely unfashionable idea called "sexual equality" and think people should be judged not by their sex but by the content of their character.

 

[G J]

I think the dentist needs reporting to the IRS HM Revenue and Customs.

 

[Clearcut]

As an example of how it’s possible to drop yourself right “in it” without realising it, and with your eyes wide open, I went for a routine dental check-up yesterday.
The dentist, an attractive thirty something young woman, who I’d never met before, said she needed to check some things before examining my teeth.
She asked if I was on blood pressure meds, blood thinner meds, was I diabetic, had I had a heart attack, or stroke in the past, etc. etc., did I drink alcohol, how many units........
Finally, she asked if I smoked, I told her no, and she asked if I had ever smoked.
At this point I saw the opportunity to lighten the mood, so I said, “No, I only ever got into booze and women, two out of three ain’t bad!”
She said, “I’ll let that go, as I think that you’re being humorous, but you should choose your words carefully when speaking to women.”
Ouch! Do I need to turn myself in, for re-education?

I would have got up and left. A visit to the dentist is traumatic enough without that going through your head whilst she's rummaging around in your mouth.

 

[Hades]

As an example of how it’s possible to drop yourself right “in it” without realising it, and with your eyes wide open, I went for a routine dental check-up yesterday.
The dentist, an attractive thirty something young woman, who I’d never met before, said she needed to check some things before examining my teeth.
She asked if I was on blood pressure meds, blood thinner meds, was I diabetic, had I had a heart attack, or stroke in the past, etc. etc., did I drink alcohol, how many units........
Finally, she asked if I smoked, I told her no, and she asked if I had ever smoked.
At this point I saw the opportunity to lighten the mood, so I said, “No, I only ever got into booze and women, two out of three ain’t bad!”
She said, “I’ll let that go, as I think that you’re being humorous, but you should choose your words carefully when speaking to women.”
Ouch! Do I need to turn myself in, for re-education?

I would have asked her what was so special about women that I had to talk in a different way to them. Then got up and left and written a letter of complaint to the practice (not that it would make any differemce as the dentists often co-own the practice).

 

[stockhausen]

Men greatly underestimate the level of sexual harassment experienced by women, according to a new survey. (LINK)

I imagine that many of the lonely, frustrated, acned male posters on this forum suffer greatly from sexual harassment as they are forced to divide their attention between viewing porn and playing games online.
Poor lambs, how fortunate that they can call on the support of their fellow sufferers

 

[Nitefly]

As an example of how it’s possible to drop yourself right “in it” without realising it, and with your eyes wide open, I went for a routine dental check-up yesterday.
The dentist, an attractive thirty something young woman, who I’d never met before, said she needed to check some things before examining my teeth.
She asked if I was on blood pressure meds, blood thinner meds, was I diabetic, had I had a heart attack, or stroke in the past, etc. etc., did I drink alcohol, how many units........
Finally, she asked if I smoked, I told her no, and she asked if I had ever smoked.
At this point I saw the opportunity to lighten the mood, so I said, “No, I only ever got into booze and women, two out of three ain’t bad!”
She said, “I’ll let that go, as I think that you’re being humorous, but you should choose your words carefully when speaking to women.”
Ouch! Do I need to turn myself in, for re-education?

No, you just need to appreciate what she said and move on. She just made the point that your comments could be taken the wrong way. It really doesn’t warrant any retrospective analysis but you compared women to ‘things’, addictive and harmful ones at that, which are the subject of pleasure. She didn’t like the comment but (rightly) suspected that you didn’t mean it other than as a harmless throw away comment but, ultimately, she knows nothing about what you are like so was making you aware of the impression you can inadvertently give with comments like that.

Save comments like that for your friends or ones of which you have an established rapport.

lol at the walking out comments. How hard life must be if you react that way to someone giving a mild negative reaction to something you said.

 

[Avenged7Fold]

Nitefly nailing it.

 

[Clearcut]

No, you just need to appreciate what she said and move on. She just made the point that your comments could be taken the wrong way. It really doesn’t warrant any retrospective analysis but you compared women to ‘things’, addictive and harmful ones at that, which are the subject of pleasure. She didn’t like the comment but (rightly) suspected that you didn’t mean it other than as a harmless throw away comment but, ultimately, she knows nothing about what you are like so was making you aware of the impression you can inadvertently give with comments like that.

Save comments like that for your friends or ones of which you have an established rapport.

lol at the walking out comments. How hard life must be if you react that way to someone giving a mild negative reaction to something you said.

To be fair, a male dentist asking a patient to open her mouth could be taken the wrong way.

 

[VincentHanna]

I think that's being disingenuous, not fair.

 

[Avenged7Fold]

To be fair, a male dentist asking a patient to open her mouth could be taken the wrong way.

I don't think so but to be honest, i don't often have ******* **** on my mind when visiting the dentist

Different strokes for different blokes, eh?


Edit: Are filters broken atm?

 

[doodah]

Lol at the dentist story.

So Lena Dunham - can someone please explain how someone who champions women's causes so vigorously is more and more of a hypocrite? First she said something about wanting to experience an abortion to understand it better, now she's admitted to been less than truthful regarding a rape allegation.

Got a couple of friends that can't help but defend her because of the 'good' she does but boy does she get a free pass with them.

 

[Jean-F]

No, you just need to appreciate what she said and move on. She just made the point that your comments could be taken the wrong way. It really doesn’t warrant any retrospective analysis but you compared women to ‘things’, addictive and harmful ones at that, which are the subject of pleasure. She didn’t like the comment but (rightly) suspected that you didn’t mean it other than as a harmless throw away comment but, ultimately, she knows nothing about what you are like so was making you aware of the impression you can inadvertently give with comments like that.

Save comments like that for your friends or ones of which you have an established rapport.

lol at the walking out comments. How hard life must be if you react that way to someone giving a mild negative reaction to something you said.

Thanks for your reply Nitefly, I appreciate it, sincerely, and I’ll admit that there is more than a grain of sense in what you say, and I was certainly not discomfited to read it, but I think that any woman would have to be an unmitigated ingenue to feel that in saying what I said, I was comparing her, and womanhood in general, with harmful and addictive things like tobacco and alcohol.
You would have to be a very sad person not to see that I WAS being humorous, and intended no denigration of women in saying what I said, perhaps she’d had a bad day.
I didn’t feel admonished by what she said, slightly sheepish perhaps, as I could hardly hit back with some cutting riposte, it would have only served to make her think that she’d been right in suggesting that I should think twice before speaking.
So I just smiled, tried my best to appear rueful and chastened, sat down, opened wide, and let her get on with telling me that all was okay, sincere thanks again.

 

[jpaul]

“No, I only ever got into booze and women, two out of three ain’t bad!”

she may not have got the cultural reference either .. which probably doesn't help.

... The publicized 'survey' https://www.endviolenceagainstwomen.org.uk/major-new-survey-many-still-unclear-what-rape-is/

• 
  

  [*]A third (33%) of people in Britain think it isn’t usually rape if a woman is pressured into having sex but there is no physical violence
  [*]A third of men think if a woman has flirted on a date it generally wouldn’t count as rape, even if she hasn’t explicitly consented to sex (compared with 21% of women)
  [*]A third of men also believe a woman can’t change her mind after sex has started
  [*]Almost a quarter (24%) think that sex without consent in long-term relationships is usually not rape (1).
  .....
  [*]Generation divide: More than a third (35%) of over 65s we asked think that in most cases isn’t rape to have non-consenting sex with your wife or partner, compared to just 16% of 16-24s. 42% of over 65s generally think that in most cases if a woman changes her mind halfway through but the sex continues, it isn’t rape compared with just 22% of the 25-49s.

it's interesting to look at survey and ask if it is credible or the questions were open to different interpretation by different demographics/ages - invalidating results.
the brexit/politics break-out, interesting.

The survey did not show if the over 65's were female biassed (invalidating that conclusion)
I thought question is insufficient in setting the scenario eg. what indication, if any, she gave to express her pressured sentiment, had she, even, reluctantly consented.

Doubtless - the news headline did not reprimand conservative voters or remainers

 

[Deleted member 66701]

No, you just need to appreciate what she said and move on. She just made the point that your comments could be taken the wrong way. It really doesn’t warrant any retrospective analysis but you compared women to ‘things’, addictive and harmful ones at that, which are the subject of pleasure. She didn’t like the comment but (rightly) suspected that you didn’t mean it other than as a harmless throw away comment but, ultimately, she knows nothing about what you are like so was making you aware of the impression you can inadvertently give with comments like that.

Save comments like that for your friends or ones of which you have an established rapport.

lol at the walking out comments. How hard life must be if you react that way to someone giving a mild negative reaction to something you said.

Exactly.

He compared women to a vice and then seems surprised why the woman calls him out on it.

[*]Generation divide: More than a third (35%) of over 65s we asked think that in most cases isn’t rape to have non-consenting sex with your wife or partner, compared to just 16% of 16-24s. 42% of over 65s generally think that in most cases if a woman changes her mind halfway through but the sex continues, it isn’t rape compared with just 22% of the 25-49s.

And this is why there should be an age limit of serving as an MP or judge and enforced retirement in other responsible professions.

 

[Jokester]

Womanising not considered negatively these days then?

 

[Nitefly]

Thanks for your reply Nitefly, I appreciate it, sincerely, and I’ll admit that there is more than a grain of sense in what you say, and I was certainly not discomfited to read it, but I think that any woman would have to be an unmitigated ingenue to feel that in saying what I said, I was comparing her, and womanhood in general, with harmful and addictive things like tobacco and alcohol.
You would have to be a very sad person not to see that I WAS being humorous, and intended no denigration of women in saying what I said, perhaps she’d had a bad day.
I didn’t feel admonished by what she said, slightly sheepish perhaps, as I could hardly hit back with some cutting riposte, it would have only served to make her think that she’d been right in suggesting that I should think twice before speaking.
So I just smiled, tried my best to appear rueful and chastened, sat down, opened wide, and let her get on with telling me that all was okay, sincere thanks again.

Sounds like you dealt with it well in the moment; most people would have felt a little deflated as you did (as happens when jokes fall flat).

By your own story, she noted you were trying to be humorous so I really wouldn’t worry about it other than be conscious of getting that reaction going forwards.

 

[dowie]

So Lena Dunham - can someone please explain how someone who champions women's causes so vigorously is more and more of a hypocrite? First she said something about wanting to experience rape to understand it better, now she's admitted to been less than truthful regarding a rape allegation.

Got a couple of friends that can't help but defend her because of the 'good' she does but boy does she get a free pass with them.

Even some SJWs have turned against her tbh... she's been labelled a "white feminist" - white being the insult/derogatory part not "feminist" part as whiteness is a negative in identity politics.

 

[jpaul]

And this is why there should be an age limit of serving as an MP or judge and enforced retirement in other responsible professions.

LOL - you read the survey - conservatives and leavers are just as 'delinquent' .. they did not report that (rather the survey is poor)