Post your past or recent Chav Stories...

dowie said:
female celebrities get mocked sometimes for their looks, most posters on here clearly only ever date models
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Well :D

We no longer go to Gloucester town centre, it's so chavtasic! Sit down for a minute for a bite to eat and one will come along "u got a quid m8". Last time we was walking around Gloucester cathedral and a fat chavette shrieked about my wife "OMG she's so skinny"
 
wazza300 said:
chavs are hot though tbf:eek::p
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Right?

I mean, wearing all those layers of Adidas, knee high socks with the trackie-bs under them, along with the classic baseball cap employing the old switch-a-roo angling... I'd be pretty toasty under there too.
 
Dimple said:
You only get internet points if you can explain that sentence
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There was a gang of about 20 of them (mostly kids who like to be part of a crowd chanting 'get him boss' or something like that), the 2 ringleaders/cheif fighters being the usual bantamweight hard lads.

I'm no cage fighter, but pretty sure 17st of me vs 7 st of one of them could have easily ended in me successfully doing some serious harm with the locale's handily placed cast iron railings, which would have been the only option as if it wasn't severe enough to scare the other 20 away then it wouldn't have ended well for me either.

So i figured a light kicking from 2 was better than getting murdered by 20, or facing a murder charge myself.
 
dowie said:
salary related threads demonstrate that loads of posters on here earn huge sums
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Spec Me threads also suggest this - "Hey, I need new shoelaces and have roughly £4,000 spare... Spec me?"

dowie said:
most posters on here clearly only ever date models
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And with ^that, my wife now thinks you're fantastic!! :cool:

I always thought a Keyboard Warrior was where the volume of one's written 'expertise' on fighting methods (inlcuding, but not limited to; martial arts, military tactics, firearms, melee weapons, historical combat, urban combat, self defence, improvised weaponry, The Anarchists' Cookbook and Krav Maga) was inversely proportional to their actual understanding and ability with said examples...?

Then again, I mostly encountered them on Martial Arty forums anyway... :rolleyes:


The Funktopus said:
It 'Qwert', if you will.
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No, it was more like "йцукен"... It was a Dvorak!!
 
mrk said:
Right?

I mean, wearing all those layers of Adidas, knee high socks with the trackie-bs under them, along with the classic baseball cap employing the old switch-a-roo angling... I'd be pretty toasty under there too.
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Nothing wrong with a woman in a track suit to be honest, as long as they aint sporting the big earings/big necklace with clowns on and baseball caps.

Example:

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How does one become a chav? Are there exams, membership fees? A chartered institute of chavs?

Sounds fascinating.
 
Never been jumped, attacked, verbally abused etc ever. Had a skinhead phase (I know I know..) and had the odd comment here and there but never got spoken down to, shouted at etc then.

Where I used to live near Elvington in Kent i lived on the corner in an ex pub, one lad knew me when I moved in, didn't like me. So the rest got told I lived there. Nearly every day/night were rocks at the windows, kicking the doors, cars screeching up and down the hill and a police car nearly EVERY day, no word of a lie.

One more memorable moment was coming back from Canterbury at about 8pm and the bus HAD to stop at Elvington (it's the route) just wondered what the hell was gonna happen, bit nervous as always mind.. sat there for 10 minutes fine, then 20ish guys in balaclavas stormed the bus, did the windows, pulled the emergency engine stop so everything shut down and threw live chickens on the bus...
 
dowie said:
it isn't like it is irrelevant... in a thread about chavs!
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Actually the true Chav tends to live in property owned by private landlords or in hotels as they long ago breached council or housing asoc tenancy agreements and kept their housing benefit rather than paying rent.
 
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digitalx said:
One more memorable moment was coming back from Canterbury at about 8pm and the bus HAD to stop at Elvington (it's the route) just wondered what the hell was gonna happen, bit nervous as always mind.. sat there for 10 minutes fine, then 20ish guys in balaclavas stormed the bus, did the windows, pulled the emergency engine stop so everything shut down and threw live chickens on the bus...
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W... T... F...? :eek:
 
Tosno said:
Well :D

We no longer go to Gloucester town centre, it's so chavtasic! Sit down for a minute for a bite to eat and one will come along "u got a quid m8". Last time we was walking around Gloucester cathedral and a fat chavette shrieked about my wife "OMG she's so skinny"
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That's a shame as the cathedral and the vicinity are really nice! I don't like the shopping area either though for said reason.
 
adolf hamster said:
Got jumped once, just took it as it was hospitalise one of them to scare the rest off then get jail, or just let the 2 ringleaders gently stamp against the half inch of russian wool i was wearing and remain a free man.

Mate didn't get it so good though ended up with 2 cracked ribs and a broken nose, he was still livid enough i tried to hold him back from the rest of them and he tried to carry 17st of me down the street.

Do i get internet tough guy points?
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You wouldn't have went to jail for self defense, you really wouldn't one blow kill them.
 
Haggisman said:
You mean in a "probably do/let you do anything you want for a bottle of White Lightning and a 10 pack of fags, but you'd probably end up with every STD known to mankind (and a few that aren't)" way? :p
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Three finger Tracey or one pound a blow Jo, oh the memories.
 
i was once in a club and there was this gay lad, he kept touching all me mates bums so we told him to stop. He then proceeded to say and i quote "If I ever see you in here again I'll stab you, I'm going die in the army in september by stepping on a land mine so i don't care" If he was talking about stabbing us in the bum i do not know.

And the funny thing is, none of that was a lie
 
powelly2010 said:
i was once in a club and there was this gay lad, he kept touching all me mates bums so we told him to stop. He then proceeded to say and i quote "If I ever see you in here again I'll stab you, I'm going die in the army in september by stepping on a land mine so i don't care" If he was talking about stabbing us in the bum i do not know.

And the funny thing is, none of that was a lie
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So did he died?
 
ttaskmaster said:
You sure that's not just because he was American? :p

Nah, I used to live in Harrow, where Chavvy/Gangstah/Wannabe/whatevertheyare encounters occurred hourly. It's all blurred into one Vicky Pollardy mess that I have long since banished to the darkest corners of my memory.
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I still live in Harrow :( really is a cesspit that pretends to be a classy suburb.
 
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