***The All New OCUK Anonymous Confession Thread!***

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Burnsey hasn't been on in 3 1/2 hours so lets hope some good ones are waiting for him!

C'mon ppl, keep sending him your confessions!
 
My car was in for service and I had loan car from the dealership, it was brand new with less than 5 miles on the clock. I spent about 4 hours on the night ragging this new car. My best m8 wanted a go and he proceeded tor teararse down a country lane. He broadsided round a long bend, the rear end hit something in the grass verge and that flipped the car on the roof. Not sure how far we skided but it did seem a long way. I was 18 and the car was insured through my dad. I remember being scarred witless telling my dad. I told him 'we' had crashed the car and he assumed I had done it.

When he saw the car on its roof with the lights on and hazards flashing he said '**** me pink' it makes me laugh to this day, I'm not proud of what I done and only myself and my best m8 new he was driving. I lied to the police who breathlised me, my dad and the dealership.
 
Burnsy2023 said:
I seem to become very incontinent when I've had a skinful. Numerous times i've come home and wet the bed... waking up to a damp bed in the morning. Luckily "pee" is less smelly straight after a night out so it's not much of an issue. However a few weeks ago I entered the wrong bedroom and relieved myself all over the bottom of his bed :( I heard a commotion in the morning with my brother asking why his bed was so damp and "musty". I clicked straight away... he never did find out what it was!
Click to expand...

Key is to not drink, if you cant control your bladder when you have had a skinfull then its time to call it a day.
 
I've tried to steal my best mate away from her bf about 3 times now. Not very proud of it due to the fact that he used to be my best mate. But he turned into a prat so i don't care about him and she deserves better. Only time will tell if it was the right decision.
 
I have quite a few that I could relate, but this is probably the sickest/funniest...

When I was growing up, my great grandfather had a volunteer from the church who used to visit him in hospital. You know the sort; they volunteer to visit the sick and dying to bring comfort and provide company etc. That'd have been great, except for the fact he turned out to be a huge cling-on come religious conversion fanatic.

Anyway, when my great grandad died the guy carried on visiting my grandmother (his daughter) at her house. He'd come once a week, bring sweets for us grandchildren and generally yap on and on about how great God was, how great his life was, and we'd go to hell if we didn't "find Jesus". He was also constantly asking us to pray with him.

Years later, once gran had died too, he started coming around to our (my parents') house! We just couldn't get rid of him. Some nights we literally ignored him for four hours straight, and he still came back! He seemed to have made it his mission in life to convert us all, despite the fact my dad only tolerated him because it gave him a chance to argue for hours on end about "aliens created human life as an experiment - except coloured people, who are a result of human/gorilla hybrid experimentation(!)" v "God created us because he loves us".

Welcome to my childhood lol

The church guy started getting a bit creepy tbh. He'd keep touching my little sister on the arm or knee while talking to her, which could have been perfectly innocent but he still creeped us out though.
As it happened, the family dog had just given birth to a litter of 6 pups the last time he visited us... I was about 12 at the time and offered to make the brews when he arrived for his usual Friday visit, fending off his offer to "pray for your souls, so that God might not damn you to eternal hell for your heathenistic ways".
"Want milk with that?"... "Please.."
You know where I got the milk from, right? :D Yup, my heavily lactating bitch. Once I'd all but filled his cup with the creamy goodness, I wiped my finger down the crack of my backside and smeared it around the top of his cup for good measure.

I'll never forget the look on his face when he took the first sip. It was ZOMFG, followed by "Erm, that's a lovely cup of... that's a lovely cuppa..."
It was coffee, but I don't think he could really tell. It sat there for a good 45 mins, while he occasionally took polite sips so as not to appear rude. He finished it as well, in the end. Didn't see him for quite some time after that, though. Winrar \o/
 
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