The Banter Thread

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Biz.Kid09 said:
Just saw this...
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepag...vile-e-mail-storm-over-Nedum-Onuohas-mum.html

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepag...dum-Onuohas-mum-devastated-by-vile-email.html

I am reading this email as Cook telling off Marwood for not dealing with the contract situation.... "how can you sleep at night" in reference to wasting time when his mother has cancer and so cannot do a lot of negotiations and so Marwood should just get it sorted?

Or am i reading it wrong???

Being sent this email is worse than being told you have cancer?

and also


So you just go to a national newspaper?

The sooner Onouha is gone the better, this bit of "news" was likely done by his "advisor" Jobrachin. The sooner he takes Onouha and Tevez the better.
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I think you're reading it wrong as in, thats the content of the message but its not telling him off, its sarcastic.

But honestly, I get his point, she's using cancer as a reason to negotiate, and now leaking this e-mail which wasn't meant for her and calling it the worst day of her life, theres no way on earth anyone could possible think thats worse than hearing you have cancer.

He sent a funny e-mail and almost certainly he screwed up who he sent it to and is lamely blaming someone else. But the whole situation is coming across as her using her illness, and now shaming Cook into a better contract.

People send e-mails like that all the time, thats life, Cook pretending someone else did it is a bit childish but then that kind of thing is used by people like The Sun to compare you to the lowest of scum on the planet, when theres barely anything in it.
 
drunkenmaster said:
I think you're reading it wrong as in, thats the content of the message but its not telling him off, its sarcastic.

But honestly, I get his point, she's using cancer as a reason to negotiate, and now leaking this e-mail which wasn't meant for her and calling it the worst day of her life, theres no way on earth anyone could possible think thats worse than hearing you have cancer.

He sent a funny e-mail and almost certainly he screwed up who he sent it to and is lamely blaming someone else. But the whole situation is coming across as her using her illness, and now shaming Cook into a better contract.

People send e-mails like that all the time, thats life, Cook pretending someone else did it is a bit childish but then that kind of thing is used by people like The Sun to compare you to the lowest of scum on the planet, when theres barely anything in it.
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Well apparently he didnt send it at all as he was in South Africa on holiday. So if it was indeed sent by him then there is a record of where it was sent from.

Had Nedum gone this summer this never would have got out but because he is actually a decent player and we wanted some money for him and no one paid it she has now thrown this out or more likely his "advisor" Kia Joorabchian. The same advisor who constantly spouts about Tevez and is now engineering a move for De Jong unless we give him a new contract.

The sooner he is gone the less we will be in the papers and the less utter stupid footballers we have at the club.
 
The "I wasn't in the office" excuse is so obviously crap...... because you can't send an e-mail these days from an e-mail account unless you are on the computer. its not even bad, its just being twisted as being extremely bad.

Its not "funny" really, its a bit of banter between friends, no one would send it as a practical joke as it makes no sense.

But yes, it feels like nothing more than trying to get the "upper hand" in contract negotiations, and on Kia, the FA should step in and ban him somehow from being involved. I mean to be fair agents have a job and he's doing his well, I was going to call him scummy but then, if thats how he makes money and he's allowed to, why would being very good at his job make him scum, his only interest is his player and his fee's. The FA should make it harder for agents to be able to have such control though, but then again players should be "better". De Jong has every right to tell his agent to stick it, that he's happy where he is and happy to sign a reasonable contract, De Jong has all the power really and could put a leash on his agent if he wanted to.

Its all pretty silly, with Onuoha, I don't rate him in the slightest I can see City wanting to give him next to nothing to stay as backup. De Jong is just fantastic though, irreplaceable but I can also see City having issues with FFP and now they have the squad they need, starting to reign in contract spending somewhat. Thats what Chelsea wanted to do, spend to establish themselves then backtrack on the big wage offers, and they found that increasingly hard to do as they gave a bunch of players 150k a week then when they renewed lower paid players, those guys weren't happy with sub 100k a week offers. De Jong will expect serious money and City will want to make a stand and keep wages lower now.
 
drunkenmaster said:
The "I wasn't in the office" excuse is so obviously crap...... because you can't send an e-mail these days from an e-mail account unless you are on the computer. its not even bad, its just being twisted as being extremely bad.

Its not "funny" really, its a bit of banter between friends, no one would send it as a practical joke as it makes no sense.

But yes, it feels like nothing more than trying to get the "upper hand" in contract negotiations, and on Kia, the FA should step in and ban him somehow from being involved. I mean to be fair agents have a job and he's doing his well, I was going to call him scummy but then, if thats how he makes money and he's allowed to, why would being very good at his job make him scum, his only interest is his player and his fee's. The FA should make it harder for agents to be able to have such control though, but then again players should be "better". De Jong has every right to tell his agent to stick it, that he's happy where he is and happy to sign a reasonable contract, De Jong has all the power really and could put a leash on his agent if he wanted to.

Its all pretty silly, with Onuoha, I don't rate him in the slightest I can see City wanting to give him next to nothing to stay as backup. De Jong is just fantastic though, irreplaceable but I can also see City having issues with FFP and now they have the squad they need, starting to reign in contract spending somewhat. Thats what Chelsea wanted to do, spend to establish themselves then backtrack on the big wage offers, and they found that increasingly hard to do as they gave a bunch of players 150k a week then when they renewed lower paid players, those guys weren't happy with sub 100k a week offers. De Jong will expect serious money and City will want to make a stand and keep wages lower now.
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Were not living in 1990 you know? you can send an email from a phone :eek:

FIFA have banned him, thats how corrupt he is :o. Banned him from being an agent.

He is no longer an Agent though but an "advisor". You cant ban someone who is his "mate".

Well Mancini really wants De Rossi so De Jong could be moved on quicker than he thinks. No one in the team is irrepleacable anymore. Look at Tevez.

Our wages are being reigned definitely. Weiss/SWP/Bellamy/RSC/Adebayor/Numerous youngsters are cutting nearly 500k a week off the wage bill now they have left.
 
Didn't think this Cook email thing was as bad as the headlines made out, basically he tried to send a tongue in cheek email to Marwood from his blackberry or whatever and messed up the recipient. The way the Sun was making out you would think he had launched some deeply offensive assault on the woman, all it was was an inappropriate jibe to his colleague at the fact the first thing the woman came out with was about being riddled with cancer. He didn't say "god I hope she suffers" or anything like that.

However the worrying thing is this coverup story about being hacked, that doesn't really wash with me, why would somebody hack into an email account and send an email in that fashion, instead of doing something far worse.
 
Gooner14 said:
Thomas Vermaelen is out for at least 2 months. He's had surgery. Last time that happened it was the whole season.
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Just for accuracy's sake, he didn't have surgery until Jan-March last season, they kept trying various things up until then and he was in training not "that" long afterwards, which is a little different to thinking he had surgery in August and played his first game in May......

Problem being the surgery was supposed to be a little dramatic but a complete fix as they supposedly removed the offending and not particularly required part of the achilles....so the question is, wtf is going on now if the thing that was a problem literally isn't there anymore. I was slightly worried when I knew Verm was out, the second I found out it was his achilles I thought theres no chance he's back anytime soon :(

HangTime said:
Didn't think this Cook email thing was as bad as the headlines made out, basically he tried to send a tongue in cheek email to Marwood from his blackberry or whatever and messed up the recipient. The way the Sun was making out you would think he had launched some deeply offensive assault on the woman, all it was was an inappropriate jibe to his colleague at the fact the first thing the woman came out with was about being riddled with cancer. He didn't say "god I hope she suffers" or anything like that.

However the worrying thing is this coverup story about being hacked, that doesn't really wash with me, why would somebody hack into an email account and send an email in that fashion, instead of doing something far worse.
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To be marginally fair, afaik its the mother of Onuoha whose making out "the day I got the e-mail was the worst day of my life, worse than hearing I had cancer", not the Sun. This is why my take is she was trying to use her cancer as a sympathy/bargaining tool, and is now using the e-mail for much the same. As with you if someone broke in and sent a practicle joke e-mail, it would be a joke, not a bit of banter between friends, the BS "I was away from my computer" excuse is laughable.

When papers want to twist something, or a cancer ridden woman says its the most offensive thing she's ever seen, I'm not sure what position he should take, "shut up woman, its clearly not that bad", how would papers react to that? He made a pretty dumb mistake but in todays society its left him between a rock, and the unemployment line, when frankly people should be realising what she's up to and being a little disgusted with the way she's trying to negotiate.
 
HangTime said:
Didn't think this Cook email thing was as bad as the headlines made out, basically he tried to send a tongue in cheek email to Marwood from his blackberry or whatever and messed up the recipient. The way the Sun was making out you would think he had launched some deeply offensive assault on the woman, all it was was an inappropriate jibe to his colleague at the fact the first thing the woman came out with was about being riddled with cancer. He didn't say "god I hope she suffers" or anything like that.

However the worrying thing is this coverup story about being hacked, that doesn't really wash with me, why would somebody hack into an email account and send an email in that fashion, instead of doing something far worse.
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It's an easy mistake to make and I've made it myself in the past. To be fair though the worst I've ever accidentally copied a customer in to is me telling a member of staff to deal with the customers issue an report back to me. If I had made a joke about a customer and it was reported then I'd fully expect disciplinary action even if I'd only meant the joke in a lighthearted manner.

Saying that I hope he doesn't get asked as he's good for the lols.
 
Not sure that anyone cares,

However NUFC board have decided to answer 14 fan questions as voted for by the fans. Could be some interesting replies.

The Questions

1. Where has the money that was pledged to be reinvested in the squad after the sale of Andy Carroll gone?

2. Why is there such a lack of communication with the fans from Mike Ashley and his board?

3. In 2009 you outlined your plans for the club at a fans forum. Can you give us an update on how you see our position now against that plan and if it has changed? What is the long-term plan for Newcastle United?

4. Can you justify why it took seven months to pursue a striker before failing at the eleventh hour to secure a signing?

5. Public opinion on Tyneside from large sections of fans is that they no longer trust statements coming out of the club after several empty promises. What assurances can you give fans that they can believe what the club tells them?

6. Given that level 7 was deserted in some parts at the Fulham game, is there any reason why those who want to sing can’t all be sat together rather than upsetting fans who don’t want to sing, which appears to be the problem in the Strawberry corner? What has caused the club to fundamentally change its stance to standing in the stadium?

7. Many fans clamoured for a marquee signing on the striker front. Are those days gone and can we expect more continental-based players coming in in January, if any?

8. Are you concerned about the 10,000 drop in attendance and that fans are either not renewing season tickets or have headed to support local non-league teams instead?

9. Is Ashley considering putting the club up for sale?

10. Newcastle United has the third highest attendances in the country, Sky TV and income from merchandising, plus a lower debt position than many in the EPL. Why in terms of player recruitment can Newcastle not compete with smaller clubs like Stoke, Fulham and QPR?

11. Are you aware of fans’ disgruntlement with the away ticketing policy given the Toon Army are amongst the most loyal fans in the UK, and will you consider reviewing the policy?

12. Alan Pardew said he was 100% convinced he would get a new number 9. What changed?

13. Why was Joey Barton allowed to leave for free and join a club that could be considered to be a rival in the Premier League?

14. Many fans now consider us to be a “selling club” after the departures of Nolan, Enrique, Carroll and Barton. How do you respond to this?
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I'll do their job for them:

1. Where has the money that was pledged to be reinvested in the squad after the sale of Andy Carroll gone?
A: Sports Direct bonuses; how else is Debbie the Sales Assistant going to get her fourty grand?

2. Why is there such a lack of communication with the fans from Mike Ashley and his board?
A: Because we don't want to face questions like these.

3. In 2009 you outlined your plans for the club at a fans forum. Can you give us an update on how you see our position now against that plan and if it has changed? What is the long-term plan for Newcastle United?
A: Staying in the Prem long enough to recoup some cash and then sell to Tommy from Timbuktu.

4. Can you justify why it took seven months to pursue a striker before failing at the eleventh hour to secure a signing?
A: Unlike you so-called 'fans', we have faith in our players. Leon Best proved he's as good as any striker in the league on his last outing.

5. Public opinion on Tyneside from large sections of fans is that they no longer trust statements coming out of the club after several empty promises. What assurances can you give fans that they can believe what the club tells them?
A: We promise to be as honest and open as Freddy Shepherd was, you can't say fairer than that.

6. Given that level 7 was deserted in some parts at the Fulham game, is there any reason why those who want to sing can’t all be sat together rather than upsetting fans who don’t want to sing, which appears to be the problem in the Strawberry corner? What has caused the club to fundamentally change its stance to standing in the stadium?
A: Standing creates a bad image for the club, next thing we'll have louts downing pints in the stands...

7. Many fans clamoured for a marquee signing on the striker front. Are those days gone and can we expect more continental-based players coming in in January, if any?
A: No, the days of fans clamouring for a marquee signing on the striker front are not gone. As for January, we don't want to give any information away about potential targets in case Fulham get wind of it.

8. Are you concerned about the 10,000 drop in attendance and that fans are either not renewing season tickets or have headed to support local non-league teams instead?
A: The only people who can turn round that statistic are you, the fans. If Geordies cannot be bothered to turn up and support their team then maybe we are better off without those fair-weather followers who were happy to revel in the glory of (almost) winning trophies in the 90s but jump ship as soon as the going gets tough.

9. Is Ashley considering putting the club up for sale?
A: As a PLC we are always for sale.

10. Newcastle United has the third highest attendances in the country, Sky TV and income from merchandising, plus a lower debt position than many in the EPL. Why in terms of player recruitment can Newcastle not compete with smaller clubs like Stoke, Fulham and QPR?
A: Stoke and Fulham are bigger clubs as both have been in the Premiership longer than Newcastle in recent years. As for QPR, they just take our rejects and are no competition.

11. Are you aware of fans’ disgruntlement with the away ticketing policy given the Toon Army are amongst the most loyal fans in the UK, and will you consider reviewing the policy?
A: The loyalty of fans is highly questionable given the information you yourselves put forward in question 8.

12. Alan Pardew said he was 100% convinced he would get a new number 9. What changed?
A: Nothing has changed - Alan Pardew is still convinced he will get a new number 9...

13. Why was Joey Barton allowed to leave for free and join a club that could be considered to be a rival in the Premier League?
A: Another baffling question. In Q10, you stated that QPR were a "smaller club", yet now they are a rival. So which is it?

14. Many fans now consider us to be a “selling club” after the departures of Nolan, Enrique, Carroll and Barton. How do you respond to this?
A: It was inevitable that some of the deadwood would have to move on to allow us the capture of Manchester United superstar Gabriel Obertan.
 
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