**The Mental Health Thread**

[AHarvey]

Sorry to hear that, I had something similar in which I ended a 6-year relationship and I think meds contributed to my state of mind at the time. I ended it in the worst possible way and caused her and others a lot of hurt. She is a much stronger person now which feeds into the flow I had in that people are better off without me.

I'd guess that she's not a stronger person, she's a harder person. People become harder when they've been damaged but that's not always a good thing.

 

[Cromulent]

Does anyone take Kalms for anxiety at all? Do you find it helps or is it just another one of those useless herbal medicines that has sod all evidence to back up its intended use?

 

[Noxia]

I'd guess that she's not a stronger person, she's a harder person. People become harder when they've been damaged but that's not always a good thing.

You are right but I hope it's the former. I wish nothing but the best for her, she truly deserves it .

 

[LuckyBenski]

Depression is a ****. Sometime Friday I entered the sourest mood and it's stuck with me the whole weekend. After work drinks, seeing a mate, trying to do DIY, and even doing father's day dinner for the in-law. I've been a handful for my girlfriend and uncomfortable in my own skin to the point of panic attacks and I don't even know why I'm depressed

I swear I just have hormonal cycles! Unexplainable mood swings totally unrelated to life circumstances.

 

[CircleFaust]

Does anyone take Kalms for anxiety at all? Do you find it helps or is it just another one of those useless herbal medicines that has sod all evidence to back up its intended use?

i think it has more of a placebo effect. it will work in the short term but thats about it
anxiety will always be around but hopefully in lesser degrees as you learn to live and cope with it

 

[AHarvey]

Depression is a ****. Sometime Friday I entered the sourest mood and it's stuck with me the whole weekend. After work drinks, seeing a mate, trying to do DIY, and even doing father's day dinner for the in-law. I've been a handful for my girlfriend and uncomfortable in my own skin to the point of panic attacks and I don't even know why I'm depressed

I swear I just have hormonal cycles! Unexplainable mood swings totally unrelated to life circumstances.

I've been a bit like this since I came back from our holiday. I had a week off 4 weeks ago, we spent 3 days in a yurt, no electricity, gas hot water, fire's for heat.

Popped out a couple of times to local towns for ice and food, an afternoon out but most of it spent in a meadow next to a large wood. Collecting firewood and playing with the family.

Before I went my PsA was killing me, I had swollen feet and psoriasis over my face. By the end of the 3 days, I had no pain, no swelling, no psoriasis, I'd dropped 5lbs in weight, I'd been getting decent sleep. Best of all, no depression, no black cloud or just feeling meh.

Since coming back I have worked every day apart from 1, I have loads to do at work, home, and my business. My joints are aching again, swelling and **** skin are starting up again.

I am desperate to get a simpler life. I'm 37 in a week and my kids are growing so fast. If we went for the lifestyle I wanted my photography/SEO/web work would easily keep us afloat. We could both spend more time with the kids. I think wanting that and not being able to get it is causing me more grief. My wife keeps asking what's up but she wants a 4 bedroom house in the country with some land, I'd start with land, a yurt and a converted bus if it was up to me.

I honestly believe that stress and lifestyle are some of the biggest cause of mental health. everyone focuses on the wrong things, things that don't actually improve our lives.

 

[Daff_Duck]

I often wonder at how the older generations take on Mental Health was. Today, it’s one of the biggest expenditure of NHS resources. I have Bi-Polar and have done for over 40 yrs. in the late 70s it was still really a taboo subject and their was little, in fact no help available. I have self harmed almost killed myself 2 times

Now their is a “mini” explosion of Mental Health and I often wonder “why?” I have come to the conclusion that there are a lot of factors involved and not all for the better

Social interaction < when was the last time you spoke to neighbors built relationships

Internet/ Media and the “ false desire to promote the idea that you should have a perfect life, because that is what everyone else has, right?

Access to specialist advisors and support agencies - post code lottery here the services over the years, speaking from first hand knowledge are over stretched and under funded

The belief that everything can be fixed with a pill, here today gone tomorrow mind set - NOT the truth

The people who like to “ label” themselves because they have looked it up on the Internet, providing them with an excuse not to do anything about the fundamental cause

GPS who have become too easily accustomed to handing out drugs

I could go on but in the past the saying was “ you just get in with it” that is life it’s hard but it’s what you do

Obviously there are no statistics to show how many people took their own life, but having endured a world war no “ modern drugs”. Was / is their attitude a better way?

Accept life is hard spend time with your family they are all you need

don’t judge yourself against the “ fantasy “.

Accept yourself for who you are and embrace it. There is no silver bullet. I could go on.

Am I talking $$ or does anyone else agree

 

[JonnyT]

I agree with a lot of what you say @Daff_Duck

The power and influence of the media, and more recently social media on mental health cannot be underestimated. There is such pressure nowadays to have the 'perfect' life; job, house, kids, possessions, exotic holidays, but also there is the constant pressure to 'promote' your life via Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat etc. Any sign of weakness shown in public or social media is very quickly judged negatively, leading people who suffer from issues to shy away from any form of interaction.

As a society, we've become increasingly demanding and impatient, wanting 'quick fixes' for anything, including our mental health. Whereas many years ago 'time is a healer' was a well-used maxim, these days GPs will hand out tablets for almost anything. Questions also need to be asked about adolescents and children being recommended for gender reassignment without significant long-term psychological help.

Now speaking personally:

I suffer from depression, anxiety, quite bad checking OCD and chronic low self-esteem. Accepting yourself and your issues is hard, but is an important first step. The trouble is I get terribly lonely; I moved out of town last year to buy my first house and have struggled to make a new life for myself here. I really struggle to talk to new people, especially women.

I'm currently in the midst of a big 'downer'; perhaps it had been masked for a while because I'd thrown myself into a big work project which required lots of overtime (180+ hrs in 3 months) but now it's over, I'm struggling to find the motivation to do much - if anything - outside of work. I'll freely admit that I've been drinking more than I could/should on weeknights, but all I seem to be motivated to do when I get home from work is blob on the sofa, watch NetFlix and occasionally swipe on Tinder/Bumble, to see if there is possibly anyone out there that might find me attractive. My mood isn't helped by the fact I was seeing someone during my 'busy' period at work, which was going well until she randomly decided to list a diatribe of everything that was wrong from her point of view out of the blue, and didn't like it when I exercised my right of reply to try and give my side of the story.

 

[Gabbatek]

Hang in there everyone

 

[valve90210]

Went to meet a counsellor yesterday to get a feel for what they're like for talking to and to see if we both felt we could work together. It was good meeting and I'm going to start working with her soon. I was feeling really positive about it yesterday but today I'm feeling really down and struggling to see that things will one day be better and I'll be able to cope with life and be happy.

 

[Ayahuasca]

I was feeling really positive about it yesterday but today I'm feeling really down and struggling to see that things will one day be better and I'll be able to cope with life and be happy.

I wouldn't put much emphasis on that, it's a perfectly normal response to an upcoming change in your life

 

[valve90210]

I wouldn't put much emphasis on that, it's a perfectly normal response to an upcoming change in your life

I guess you're right, and a friend of mine who recommended the counsellor has had great outcomes from work she did with the counsellor when her life went to pieces but I just look at it and see that before things fell apart she was a happy person with ambition, drive, a good career and lots of friends so she was just getting back to where she had been before. I've never had any of those things so I feel like I need to entirely change as a person because I don't know that I've ever been happy.

 

[LuckyBenski]

I guess you're right, and a friend of mine who recommended the counsellor has had great outcomes from work she did with the counsellor when her life went to pieces but I just look at it and see that before things fell apart she was a happy person with ambition, drive, a good career and lots of friends so she was just getting back to where she had been before. I've never had any of those things so I feel like I need to entirely change as a person because I don't know that I've ever been happy.

I would highly recommend going ahead with it, at least on the premise of "just take one small step". These little moments taking the next step in front of you are what become looking back a year/s later and realising you moved forward.

In terms of having never been happy, and your friend getting "back to normal" as motivated and positive, I'll say this: sometimes mental health, like physical health, can get worse and change. We often spend time chasing "back to normal" or becoming how you used to be. But people change over time and also serious incidents, physical or mental, can create a permanent shift in circumstance. It's a fallacy to think we can go back, but it's completely achievable to make ourselves change, and grow, with effort. And it's very much true that you can steer and drive that change if you apply yourself. So rather than putting yourself down via saying your friend was just recovering back to her old ways, why not see it as you choosing to create change in your life?

 

[LuckyBenski]

Sorry if I've gone overboard on "advice", maybe this thread is more about supportiveness than that. So, have a hug, which may be more valuable

 

[valve90210]

I would highly recommend going ahead with it, at least on the premise of "just take one small step". These little moments taking the next step in front of you are what become looking back a year/s later and realising you moved forward.

In terms of having never been happy, and your friend getting "back to normal" as motivated and positive, I'll say this: sometimes mental health, like physical health, can get worse and change. We often spend time chasing "back to normal" or becoming how you used to be. But people change over time and also serious incidents, physical or mental, can create a permanent shift in circumstance. It's a fallacy to think we can go back, but it's completely achievable to make ourselves change, and grow, with effort. And it's very much true that you can steer and drive that change if you apply yourself. So rather than putting yourself down via saying your friend was just recovering back to her old ways, why not see it as you choosing to create change in your life?

I am trying to look at it in a positive light and see that I'm doing the right things and trying to get my life on track but I can't shift that feeling inside that it's all in vain. I'm going to keep trying though because I know I can't keep feeling this way forever and something needs to change.

Sorry if I've gone overboard on "advice", maybe this thread is more about supportiveness than that. So, have a hug, which may be more valuable

Advice and hugs are both very welcome for me!

 

[Indigo]

Sorry if I've gone overboard on "advice", maybe this thread is more about supportiveness than that. So, have a hug, which may be more valuable

I personally feel that the advice is needed as much as the hugs to be honest. Carry on with both

I read the thread for any updates and it's always a help, I've got own issues and I'm currently taking medication but it won't fix the problems, it just leaves me feeling less cloudy headed which gives me more time to process things instead and think straight.

 

[LuckyBenski]

I personally feel that the advice is needed as much as the hugs to be honest. Carry on with both

I read the thread for any updates and it's always a help, I've got own issues and I'm currently taking medication but it won't fix the problems, it just leaves me feeling less cloudy headed which gives me more time to process things instead and think straight.

That's really interesting. I had a similar experience, kind of - taking medication for anxiety/depression made me kind of dopey, which forced me to stop worrying about things so much. A lot of the things that would rush around my head and get me hyped up, like commuting, worrying about social occasions - I just had to drop them. Which made room to think about the important stuff.

@valve90210, the feeling sometimes stays forever I think. I still feel like a grumpy, unreliable friend/coworker despite fairly consistent compliments from both. It's almost like we learn to have that feeling and kind of, accept it, but look for some evidence outside yourself and keep trying anyway.

Today I have mostly been cleaning my house before a new housemate moves in. I find it quite depressing, because it reminds me that no one else cleans it but me, but I'm always happier in a tidy home.

 

[AHarvey]

I find one of the biggest things that help me is helping others, doesn't matter what it is, just helping someone anyway I can, neighbours cutting hedges, go and offer a hand, stopping at broken down cars to see if they are ok, talking to people with issues online... It gives you a massive boost of positivity, and the hope that they'll pay it forwards.

 

[valve90210]

I'm currently taking medication but it won't fix the problems, it just leaves me feeling less cloudy headed which gives me more time to process things instead and think straight.

That's pretty much how I used to explain it to my now ex when she would go through spells of not wanting to be on 'happy pills' all her life. I used to remind her that they weren't pills to make her happy, they were pills to bring her back to a 'normal' way of thinking and actually it was changes in her life that would make her happy.

@valve90210, the feeling sometimes stays forever I think. I still feel like a grumpy, unreliable friend/coworker despite fairly consistent compliments from both. It's almost like we learn to have that feeling and kind of, accept it, but look for some evidence outside yourself and keep trying anyway.

I very much experience this and for some reason hearing positive things from friends doesn't tend to sink in , if I hear things from other people that I don't know so well it has more of an impact (much to the irritation of my friends I'm sure)

I find one of the biggest things that help me is helping others, doesn't matter what it is, just helping someone anyway I can, neighbours cutting hedges, go and offer a hand, stopping at broken down cars to see if they are ok, talking to people with issues online... It gives you a massive boost of positivity, and the hope that they'll pay it forwards.

I definitely find this helps too, helping other people is such a positive force in my life and something I need to remember and embrace!

 

[Bassmansam]

I went through a stage of health anxiety and i would have these short spells of chest pains. I had an ecg and was reassured by doctors that was anxiety and it eventually faded.

Strangley sometimes when i feel
My bowels/colon/ stomach maybe something i will sometimes feel some discomfort in the chest area for a few seconds.