**The Mental Health Thread**

They were the only person I have ever been totally honest with, for a start. I can talk to my mum about a lot of things, but there are things I've done in the past that I wouldn't be comfortable with her knowing. Other people in my life know other things, but there are things I would hold back from them for fear of being vulnerable. I'm not going to say that just talking helps, but I don't think anybody can help you solve problems unless you can be truly open and honest about what all those problems are, and for me a professional with a binding agreement of confidentially was important to being able to open up.

Aside from that, she start to help me trying to change my behaviors. The key one that stands out was changing my internal monologue, that voice inside that was constantly berating myself and telling myself that I wasn't good enough, that I'd never be good enough. It sounds like such contrite advice, but I would never let anybody else speak to me like that, so why was I doing it to myself?

I'm not saying therapy is a golden bullet, and in 3 months all your problems will go away, but it put me on the right path - there were other factors that contributed, but if it hadn't been for the professional help in the first place I wouldn't have been in a position for those other scenarios to arise.

I didn't want to go to therapy, before I did it I was very dubious, but I was at the point where I had nothing to lose by trying it. In an ideal world, I think I'd still like to go once a month or so, just for 'mind maintanence' as I heard somebody put it, and thats something I will consider in the future.
 
I've been fighting myself all day. I have an impending panic/ head ****/ anxiety attack just brewing. Stress is the major factor, but past events coming to bite me in the ass and my wife hasn't specifically reminded me of that, but due to my own guilt (previous debt essentially) it's weighing so heavily on me and everything she says feels like resentment. Feels like a lead blanket stopping me breathing. I try to talk myself out of it, but everyone knows it's never that easy to shake off. I will try and go for a ride tomorrow. At least for 30 mins to just try and straighten myself out and lift this cloud.
 
randomshenans said:
I've been fighting myself all day. I have an impending panic/ head ****/ anxiety attack just brewing. Stress is the major factor, but past events coming to bite me in the ass and my wife hasn't specifically reminded me of that, but due to my own guilt (previous debt essentially) it's weighing so heavily on me and everything she says feels like resentment. Feels like a lead blanket stopping me breathing. I try to talk myself out of it, but everyone knows it's never that easy to shake off. I will try and go for a ride tomorrow. At least for 30 mins to just try and straighten myself out and lift this cloud.
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This hit home with me, been lurking in this thread for a while now as I've been struggling for a few weeks, new job, new systems, new people. Having a least one minor wobble a day but the constant fear/panic/stress is taking it's toll.

Work are fine with it and know I'm learning the systems, I have delivered projects and people know my skillset but I feel like a fraud, imposter and my own anxieties are crippling me.

Been talking it through with my wife but she has enough to deal with and I'm beginning to feel like a burden.

Never had this before but keeping busy is the only thing that seems to shut my brain down.

I'm in no position to help or say anything remotely useful but keep your head up bud.
 
JOSH said:
Been talking it through with my wife but she has enough to deal with and I'm beginning to feel like a burden.
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I get this. I also have this, but the sense that my wife doesn't cope well with stress and if I were to offload what's in my head, she'd probably not deal with it well. The flip side is I end up bottling it up and being the "sane/ strong" one, who just finds solutions and deals with stuff but it needs an outlet sometime.

JOSH said:
I'm in no position to help or say anything remotely useful but keep your head up bud.
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Thanks man, and you too. You will be fine, everyone feels a bit like they don't belong when in your position. It's called imposter syndrome, but you'll also find everyone around you is most likely useless anyway, eventually :D
 
randomshenans said:
I've been fighting myself all day. I have an impending panic/ head ****/ anxiety attack just brewing. Stress is the major factor, but past events coming to bite me in the ass and my wife hasn't specifically reminded me of that, but due to my own guilt (previous debt essentially) it's weighing so heavily on me and everything she says feels like resentment. Feels like a lead blanket stopping me breathing. I try to talk myself out of it, but everyone knows it's never that easy to shake off. I will try and go for a ride tomorrow. At least for 30 mins to just try and straighten myself out and lift this cloud.
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It sounds more like you need an honest chat with your wife, explain how you feel and ask her out right if she resents you. It's better to know than guess, we're all guilty of making things worse than they actually are. Even if she is, talking to her will help both of you.

I know how you feel though, had the same thing last night, a proper crying heart to heart with the wife about a lot of issues. A lot of issues are down to her, but really, they aren't, it's my BPD and mental health, she gets that but it's not easy for her.

I'm back at work and all I can think of is just picking my stuff up and walking out, going home and staying there.
 
burtie said:
Do you Have any holiday you could take, even if it's just a week?
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I've a week off with the family in 3 weeks. The first week of the summer holidays which will help a lot.

I think it may just be this job, there's an internal move that has come up at move. Probably less money as I lose shifts but it's in infosec... going to become a hacker for a living lol
 
FoxEye said:
@Rids Out of curiosity, how did the professional help you to overcome your situation? Obvs don't need to post anything personal you can generalise, if you are OK with that.

I just wonder how they can help is all.
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You've gained a bit of respect from me by laying it all out in this thread, I was guilty of a bit of character assassination in your 50k thread and I guess I hadn't realised the level of your issues. If you are asking how a professional helps..

Well you are posting quite open and honest messages on this forum and you are sharing your issues because its giving you that release. Imagine talking to someone who has experienced hundreds of people in a variety of personal situations, someone who has a way to help make sense of it all. That's what you pay for. See someone, speak your mind. If it feels a bit better then good. If it doesn't, you've lost a relatively small amount of money. No drama.

Just give it a go.

It's all about small steps. I gave you grief about the living with parents thing and seeming to not make big moves but now I realise you really just need to gain a bit of confidence by achieving even the most minor of positive things. Maybe make a list of very small insignificant steps and aim to achieve one a day/week/month. Bit by bit you will move forward.
 
Hedge said:
You've gained a bit of respect from me by laying it all out in this thread, I was guilty of a bit of character assassination in your 50k thread and I guess I hadn't realised the level of your issues. If you are asking how a professional helps..

Well you are posting quite open and honest messages on this forum and you are sharing your issues because its giving you that release. Imagine talking to someone who has experienced hundreds of people in a variety of personal situations, someone who has a way to help make sense of it all. That's what you pay for. See someone, speak your mind. If it feels a bit better then good. If it doesn't, you've lost a relatively small amount of money. No drama.

Just give it a go.

It's all about small steps. I gave you grief about the living with parents thing and seeming to not make big moves but now I realise you really just need to gain a bit of confidence by achieving even the most minor of positive things. Maybe make a list of very small insignificant steps and aim to achieve one a day/week/month. Bit by bit you will move forward.
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And fair play to you for acknowledging his issues :)

That's what I love about this thread, we've had a few idiots in early on but overall, it's a bunch of strangers being extremely open and honest about how **** they are feeling at that moment in time and by being honest, you're all encouraging others to be the same, and supporting each other.

It's so rare to find online now, Social media is all about "look how great my life is" and even here on OCUK, there's a lot of oneupmanship in nearly every thread.

Thanks to each and every one of you for making this safe space for each other :)
 
I think the best thing this thread does is show that it's not abnormal to feel like this. I think we worry about what people will think, and everyone thinks that everyone else is living this life with no worries, when it's not at all like that. I think everyone to a degree suffers in some shape or form.
 
Yep, i think a lot of sit in silence suffering, keeping it to ourselves but the reality is that it is the worst thing we can do. So many of us are in similar circumstances and it's vital that is recognised so we don't feel ashamed or cut off.
 
I’m 4 weeks into medication (50mg Sertraline) and whilst my mood hasn’t really improved I haven’t had any bouts of anxiety that have spiralled out of control. I seem to have been fortunate with no side effects after the first few days and I don’t want to increase my dose yet as I’ve heard it can take up to 8 weeks to fully take effect.
 
JOSH said:
This hit home with me, been lurking in this thread for a while now as I've been struggling for a few weeks, new job, new systems, new people. Having a least one minor wobble a day but the constant fear/panic/stress is taking it's toll.

Work are fine with it and know I'm learning the systems, I have delivered projects and people know my skillset but I feel like a fraud, imposter and my own anxieties are crippling me.

Been talking it through with my wife but she has enough to deal with and I'm beginning to feel like a burden.

Never had this before but keeping busy is the only thing that seems to shut my brain down.

I'm in no position to help or say anything remotely useful but keep your head up bud.
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You and me both bud! :(
 
Ayahuasca said:
I’m 4 weeks into medication (50mg Sertraline) and whilst my mood hasn’t really improved I haven’t had any bouts of anxiety that have spiralled out of control. I seem to have been fortunate with no side effects after the first few days and I don’t want to increase my dose yet as I’ve heard it can take up to 8 weeks to fully take effect.
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It does take a while to get going, i felt proper crap for the first 7 weeks then it seemed to ease off a bit. I'm on 100mg but might need 150mg soon as the doctor wants me to come of my valium.
 
I'm having one of 'those days' today. Feeling really down and keep pointlessly crying (Yes, I'm a girl) :(

I don't know why, I just feel sad today and mourning the person I used to be. I feel stronger in ways now but there's parts of the old me that I want back.

I know I'm being ridiculous and need to shake it off, I'm just struggling I guess. No real point to this just needed to get it out somewhere without having someone telling me to "cheer up"
 
secretspy said:
I'm having one of 'those days' today. Feeling really down and keep pointlessly crying (Yes, I'm a girl) :(

I don't know why, I just feel sad today and mourning the person I used to be. I feel stronger in ways now but there's parts of the old me that I want back.

I know I'm being ridiculous and need to shake it off, I'm just struggling I guess. No real point to this just needed to get it out somewhere without having someone telling me to "cheer up"
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You're not being ridiculous at all, they are valid feelings and it's absolutely ok to be having them and expressing them.

It's keeping them all locked up that's the real issue.

What is it about your old self you want back and what is stopping you?
 
AHarvey said:
You're not being ridiculous at all, they are valid feelings and it's absolutely ok to be having them and expressing them.

It's keeping them all locked up that's the real issue.

What is it about your old self you want back and what is stopping you?
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Thank you. It gets a bit frustrating when I've tried reaching out to people in the past and all I get is a sad face emoji back or told "cheer up"

I guess I do bottle a lot up especially around my mum but lately I've been a bit more open with her. (She is a vault when it comes to showing emotion so I've always felt I have to be the same around her)

I guess I just look back at old pictures etc and see that I seemed happier back then. It's hard to explain but nowadays I just feel really lost. I feel like there is so much stress and my minor health problems seemed to get worse in the past couple of years. They are improving again but it's taking time.
 
I find that although society in general treats mental health as a less taboo subject, people still struggle with talking about it, it makes them uncomfortable and some just shut down completely.

It's always easier looking back, rose-tinted glasses, "look how slim, brown and healthy I looked back then", the problem is i find that often when you look back you forget to keep an eye on the future, where you want to be. If we don't have a destination we're bound to feel a little lost.

I've set myself goals, fitness, health, lifestyle etc. I've no idea if I'll achieve them but trying gives me something to head towards, I feel less lost when I know the destination. I still have **** days, I've been having a pretty meh last few weeks really, lots of ups and downs. Some i've posted about in here, I posted the "do you have passion" thread in GD as I was low.

Remember, a journey, no matter how slow can always be completed, you just have to keep moving forwards :)

Have you got a destination?
 
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