What did she do ?
The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
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What did she do ?
Soldato
she was sending messages to her friends about how this guy made her feel, and her friend was making comments about how horrible it must be being married to me and she just put smiles and that as replies.
it was nothing direct, but just little digs and subtle hints.
then she had the nerve to accuse me of cheating, even though I NEVER had a night out on my own as I was always looking after the kids.
thing is, she still means the world to me.
Soldato
Nor do I. Its been two years since i broke up with my one and only Long term GF of 5 years. In the right frame of mind to date again finally but had not luck. Feel like im on the dating scrap heap allready in most women eyes and im only 27
I do try and be positive about this sort of thing but is hard at times.
Soldato
Nor do I. Its been two years since i broke up with my one and only Long term GF of 5 years. In the right frame of mind to date again finally but had not luck. Feel like im on the dating scrap heap allready in most women eyes and im only 27
I do try and be positive about this sort of thing but is hard at times.
until this breakup I have been pretty good, a month tops being single and on to the next one, but my lifestyle has changed now, and I don't think im mentally ready to move on, but if I leave it too long, I will be in that age bracket for desperate women worried their time is running out
Soldato
If I could I would, but it would be too obvious it was me, and she would take my kids away
I saw the signs early on when she met him through work, but whenever I bought it up I was made to feel like a fool.
accusing you of cheating is normally a guilt on her part, which is normal scenario. My honest opinion is to move on, harder cause you have kids, but dont get sucked in and work on yourself. at the moment your confidence must have taken a big blow. nothing wrong with being friends but she sounds a b *** saying it nicely.
Soldato
the thing is, we have split up, we are getting along and we wont be getting back together (she has made that clear). yet she still wont admit to cheating on me or liking the guy (even if nothing happened whilst we were together). but my kids come to mine and tell me about their trips out with him and her, and it tears me up (you know what stuff goes through your mind, stuff you really don't want to imagine you ex partner doing
). I think if she just came out and admitted that, she liked him, nothing happened whilst we were together (or it did if it did) and they are seeing eachother now, I would probably feel less cut up, or maybe I wouldn't, but I would just like to know.Dont dwell on it buddy, she made the mistake not you. im sure theres a good lass out there who would be ideal for you.
If my wife done this to me, i would pack up her stuff and throw her out, not only would she loose the house but have no-where to go, then i would shake the lads hand and say "good luck may your soul burn in hell"
these relationships dont last, i give it 3-6 months and she wont be with him.
If my wife done this to me, i would pack up her stuff and throw her out, not only would she loose the house but have no-where to go, then i would shake the lads hand and say "good luck may your soul burn in hell"
these relationships dont last, i give it 3-6 months and she wont be with him.
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Soldato
no, you have kids, she will have loads of money thrown at her to live, whereas the dads, like me, cant afford to live, and end up struggling and feeling like a waster
and yes, I do work full time but it doesn't pay bills, she doesn't work as much and lives a nice life.i don't want to dwell on it, but i just cant get the thought of those 2 at it. and well, to me she will always be 'the one'.
no, you have kids, she will have loads of money thrown at her to live, whereas the dads, like me, cant afford to live, and end up struggling and feeling like a waster
i don't want to dwell on it, but i just cant get the thought of those 2 at it. and well, to me she will always be 'the one'.
Depends if she "cheated" then i would appeal it in court, that she was not fit for being a parent and that 90% of the time she was out.
Soldato
maybe this is why she wont admit to it?
plus, as much as that would give me pleasure short term, she cant really help the way she feels, if she lost interest then no point dragging it out, and the kids adore her, so wouldn't want them to go through the mess.
Soldato
yeh, never know, she might see the light and come crawling back
seriously though, i just want to move on and find someone who makes me happy again, as i know i do not make myself happy and i am terrible at being single.
Soldato
yeh, that's the thing, its the not knowing that kills.
plus, there is always hope if you live in ignorance. if she admitted it had/hadnt happened and/or is still happening, then i would know that there is no chance i could be with her again, as much as i want to.
and i can move on without feeling like a dick. im kinda semi scared if i find someone she will turn around with the 'see, i told you you didn't love me, only been x months and you have moved on' type of thing.
![[Damien]](/styles/overclockers/avatars/4.png){kind=avatar}
Associate
As a father you do have a right to have access to your children. Don't believe what 'she' says about your rights.
My ex tried to use my daughter as a tool to stop me from seeing my new girlfriend after we split (she was unfaithful, I found out and ended it). She was basically stopping me from having my little girl while my new girlfriend was present (I'd been with my new girlfriend for between 6mths-1yr before introducing her to my daughter).
After trying to be reasonable for however long I lawyered up and after a letter from my solicitor telling her to visit her solicitor or I'd initiate court proceedings, her solicitor told her she didn't have a leg to stand on and she accepted defeat and would then negotiate on custody arrangements.
My ex tried to use my daughter as a tool to stop me from seeing my new girlfriend after we split (she was unfaithful, I found out and ended it). She was basically stopping me from having my little girl while my new girlfriend was present (I'd been with my new girlfriend for between 6mths-1yr before introducing her to my daughter).
After trying to be reasonable for however long I lawyered up and after a letter from my solicitor telling her to visit her solicitor or I'd initiate court proceedings, her solicitor told her she didn't have a leg to stand on and she accepted defeat and would then negotiate on custody arrangements.
Soldato
[Damien];22194620 said:
she has left me poorer than poor. i couldn't lawyer up even if i wanted to, i can barely afford to eat.
The system is quite clearly flawed if that really is the case.
In other news, I managed to eat my first proper meal in 5 days today. Since breaking up with my 18 month girlfriend I have had no appetite, instead being replaced with a constant feeling of nausea. Maybe I will be able to sleep for more than a few hours tonight, too.
Well gents I'm back, having yet more problems at home only this time she may have gone too far....
Tomorrow is my birthday, 29th and she knows how important birthdays are to me especially since my Dad died and I'm estranged from my mother, we don't have a lot of money but I had budgeted enough for a semi nice pair of shoes I'm in dire need of for my birthday, however as of today she has apparently gone out with her friend and bought herself a top and had a rubbish meal at some greasy spoon type of place.... She told me tonight not to get so worked up over it, it's just a birthday and its nothing special and then promptly took herself off to bed without so much as a good night!
I hope that it is just some tasteless joke because if she is being serious well that's it for me and her and she can go whistle, I'll go into a hostel if I have too and keep up my studies and be that good role model for my kids, funny thing is yes I will suffer in the short term but hey if I leave then that's her having to drop out of university yet again and a life on the dole awaits as she can't do her degree without my support, I don't mean that in a horrible way I mean she literally has me write her assignments for her and then not to mention that as we live so far away from the university there is no way she can drop the kids off every morning or pick them up in the evening without being late every day and having to finish early something the NHS wont stand for.....
Personally I don't get her logic, if I was so dependent on someone else and my future was riding on getting their help even if I didn't want to be with them any more I would at least try to keep things civil!
Tomorrow is my birthday, 29th and she knows how important birthdays are to me especially since my Dad died and I'm estranged from my mother, we don't have a lot of money but I had budgeted enough for a semi nice pair of shoes I'm in dire need of for my birthday, however as of today she has apparently gone out with her friend and bought herself a top and had a rubbish meal at some greasy spoon type of place.... She told me tonight not to get so worked up over it, it's just a birthday and its nothing special and then promptly took herself off to bed without so much as a good night!
I hope that it is just some tasteless joke because if she is being serious well that's it for me and her and she can go whistle, I'll go into a hostel if I have too and keep up my studies and be that good role model for my kids, funny thing is yes I will suffer in the short term but hey if I leave then that's her having to drop out of university yet again and a life on the dole awaits as she can't do her degree without my support, I don't mean that in a horrible way I mean she literally has me write her assignments for her and then not to mention that as we live so far away from the university there is no way she can drop the kids off every morning or pick them up in the evening without being late every day and having to finish early something the NHS wont stand for.....
Personally I don't get her logic, if I was so dependent on someone else and my future was riding on getting their help even if I didn't want to be with them any more I would at least try to keep things civil!
Soldato
yes the system is terrible. she get Working Tax Credit to top her up (meaning she can do less hours), Child Tax Credit, Child Benefit, Housing Benefit, Council Tax Relief...........
I get just over minimum wage and £30 a year working tax to top it up. I have my kids half the week, so I should really get half the benefits surely?
good news on eating again though, it does get easier, so im told.