The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

InKursion said:
My longterm girlfriend stopped using Facebook like 2-3 months ago. Have to say - a huge relief. Have had so many problems in the past with guys adding her and trying to chat her up, facebook stalking her etc. I trust her emphatically but I really can see how certain people use these social networks to creep their way into other's lives in a consequence-free environment. She has a completely high-functioning social life without a need for social networks anyway, so more power to her! Most importantly, I think she is happier for not using it as well. Quite unusual for a university-age person though.
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I'm not very good with bookface but don't you have to accept (or reject) people trying to add you? I can imagine it being extremely creepy if not.
 
Raymond Lin said:
That sounds like every other teenage relationship in 2012. Lol
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In retrospect, I am really glad that social internet was limited to IRC when I was a teen, and only clubbers really used it. Modern day teenage relationships just look like nightmares.
 
[FnG]magnolia;22231531 said:
I'm not very good with bookface but don't you have to accept (or reject) people trying to add you? I can imagine it being extremely creepy if not.
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Which is why I think there is more to it than just deleting facebook.

KaHn
 
krooton said:
In retrospect, I am really glad that social internet was limited to IRC when I was a teen, and only clubbers really used it. Modern day teenage relationships just look like nightmares.
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I know some of my friends are REAL glad they didn't exist when we were teenagers or in uni, because a few was playing away more times than they like to admit and it would've got them in all sorts of trouble. One even admitted to me to the same, at one point, he was seeing 2 girls in 2 continents and still trying it on with others!
 
krooton said:
In retrospect, I am really glad that social internet was limited to IRC when I was a teen, and only clubbers really used it. Modern day teenage relationships just look like nightmares.
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Social Networking is the death of 'normal' relationships as we know it.
 
Yeah, social networking is like having big brother watching everything you do - 6459869456 photos, 12398349578 comments on every single social interaction.

I bet if somebody had a paranoid girl friend it could get ugly very quickly (taking things the wrong way, reading things out of context).

Social networks suck.

Fortunately my GF isn't insane.
 
krooton said:
In retrospect, I am really glad that social internet was limited to IRC when I was a teen, and only clubbers really used it. Modern day teenage relationships just look like nightmares.
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They look a lot better than my grandparent's generation, at least the teens put out these days :p
 
I don't really use facebook. I have like 180 friends, and all of them I would speak to if I saw outside. I just use it to speak to friends easily. I don't upload any photos (all the photos I have are of Roma, even my profile pictures lol).

Also use it as my main hub for sports news :P I liked a lot of sports pages, and they post links to articles and stuff, so I see from there.
 
ok so back to me.. she's on holidays and shes close to begging me to get back with her :/ how the heck do i say it once so she stops getting hopes? i really have made my mind up and i really don't feel like getting back with her so ocuk! cmon one proper sentence that would be fine to say to an ex but not to harsh so she starts hating me or gets hurt( i really don't like getting people hurt even tho i feel this is impossible atm)
 
grudas said:
ok so back to me.. she's on holidays and shes close to begging me to get back with her :/ how the heck do i say it once so she stops getting hopes? i really have made my mind up and i really don't feel like getting back with her so ocuk! cmon one proper sentence that would be fine to say to an ex but not to harsh so she starts hating me or gets hurt( i really don't like getting people hurt even tho i feel this is impossible atm)
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I still love you but I don't have passion for you, you deserve someone who can give you both.
 
grudas said:
ok so back to me.. she's on holidays and shes close to begging me to get back with her :/ how the heck do i say it once so she stops getting hopes? i really have made my mind up and i really don't feel like getting back with her so ocuk! cmon one proper sentence that would be fine to say to an ex but not to harsh so she starts hating me or gets hurt( i really don't like getting people hurt even tho i feel this is impossible atm)
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I think we have been getting along better as friends, and I no longer think of you in any other way.
 
grudas said:
cmon one proper sentence that would be fine to say to an ex but not to harsh so she starts hating me or gets hurt( i really don't like getting people hurt even tho i feel this is impossible atm)
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I'm sorry but I really fancy your mum.
 
loool not with her step dad around who knows me well :D i really don't know how to stop it.. and i thought the hardest part was breaking up? but this is just getting silly now
 
grudas said:
ok so back to me.. she's on holidays and shes close to begging me to get back with her :/ how the heck do i say it once so she stops getting hopes? i really have made my mind up and i really don't feel like getting back with her so ocuk! cmon one proper sentence that would be fine to say to an ex but not to harsh so she starts hating me or gets hurt( i really don't like getting people hurt even tho i feel this is impossible atm)
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The above two still show hope, you need something honest and direct. Dumpees are often looking for hope - even the littlest, smallest piece of hope - that the relationship can be rekindled.

"It hasn't worked out the way I wanted so I can't do this anymore." Take ownership of the decision and use 'I' instead of 'we'.
 
TommyV said:
Social Networking is the death of 'normal' relationships as we know it.
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Social networking has just helped me achieve my 'moment of clarity' and realise I'm actually over her. It's been way too long mind, but I appear to have managed to re-wire my brain into a better place without actually realising until now :)

Been smiling like a **** for a while now, ahhh today was a good day /ice cube.
 
grudas said:
ok so back to me.. she's on holidays and shes close to begging me to get back with her :/ how the heck do i say it once so she stops getting hopes? i really have made my mind up and i really don't feel like getting back with her so ocuk! cmon one proper sentence that would be fine to say to an ex but not to harsh so she starts hating me or gets hurt( i really don't like getting people hurt even tho i feel this is impossible atm)
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"Begging isn't attractive" It's what you'd get if the boot was on the other foot ;)

/edit: If you *really* dont want to be harsh, you have to let it fade away & be her choice, it's the only way. This can take time however.
 
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grudas said:
loool not with her step dad around who knows me well :D i really don't know how to stop it.. and i thought the hardest part was breaking up? but this is just getting silly now
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sometimes you just have to be cruel to be kind. don't do it via phone or text, do it face to face. just sit her down and say that you enjoyed your time together, but it has come to an end and you want to move on. you would like to remain friends, but if she finds that hard, then you understand. but if she continues to pursue the idea of getting back together you will break all ties with her.

spell it out for her what you want, what will happen if she cant respect that, and she cant miss understand.
 
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