The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

paradisiac · 6 Jul 2012 at 08:26

well found out today my ex wife IS with the guy I thought she had left me for, and that they are going away together (she was really pushy for me to take the kids on holiday that week), it kinda felt like my heart had been ripped out as we have been getting on so well, and now it seems like she was just a cheating biatch all along

Mat · 6 Jul 2012 at 10:26

paradisiac said:
well found out today my ex wife IS with the guy I thought she had left me for, and that they are going away together (she was really pushy for me to take the kids on holiday that week), it kinda felt like my heart had been ripped out as we have been getting on so well, and now it seems like she was just a cheating biatch all along

Well that's a kick in the teeth. I suppose you have probably reached the bottom of the cess pit now so time to start building anew

No doubt the new chap will find how much of a biatch she is, in time

paradisiac · 6 Jul 2012 at 10:31

Mat said:
Well that's a kick in the teeth. I suppose you have probably reached the bottom of the cess pit now so time to start building anew No doubt the new chap will find how much of a biatch she is, in time

dunno, I just feel rubbish now, I knew we were over, but yeh. she is still secretive about it and hasn't told me, but she took him out for a meal with her family, which I am close to, so maybe that was her 'I will let him find out from someone else so I don't have to tell him' way of doing it. thing is, im not supposed to know, so cant really say owt. I just feel so empty now

Mat · 6 Jul 2012 at 10:45

paradisiac said:
thing is, im not supposed to know, so cant really say owt. I just feel so empty now

Rubbish. Speak up, speak out if you want to! Try not to make an ass out of yourself but don't ever feel as though you have to keep quiet in situations like this. Protect the kids but don't give in to her, she doesn't deserve it.

Feeling empty can make you feel small and like you want to hide but you need some mental armour bud and having a voice is a good way to get it

robgmun · 6 Jul 2012 at 10:51

I'm happy and in love at the moment but i'm being seriously temped by this girl that goes to the same gym as me, she's showing signs of interest and she's stunning, not to mention an ex-burlesque dancer!

paradisiac · 6 Jul 2012 at 10:53

Mat said:
Rubbish. Speak up, speak out if you want to! Try not to make an ass out of yourself but don't ever feel as though you have to keep quiet in situations like this. Protect the kids but don't give in to her, she doesn't deserve it.

Feeling empty can make you feel small and like you want to hide but you need some mental armour bud and having a voice is a good way to get it

cant say owt, she is the kind of person that would then poison the kids against me, so will just let it be.

I dunno, I always knew deep down, but you know, you always hope it was wrong, and the way we have been getting on, I kinda felt like things were getting good between us, when really, she was just getting laid.

paradisiac · 6 Jul 2012 at 20:54

right, I need something to get this outta my head, its horrible. any ideas?

grudas · 6 Jul 2012 at 21:05

paradisiac said:
right, I need something to get this outta my head, its horrible. any ideas?

get something to do so you don't have time to think about it..

paradisiac · 6 Jul 2012 at 21:07

grudas said:
get something to do so you don't have time to think about it..

yeh, I tried to get my head down at work, but its always there just niggling away

I hate it soo much, the thought of her and him, like, well, yeh.

agnes · 6 Jul 2012 at 21:12

I have lost all skills! Without sounding like a tool, I never really had issues chatting up girls. But these days, since me ex and my ex ex (first 2 proper relationships) I'm struggling lol.

Any ideas?

dante6491 · 6 Jul 2012 at 21:15

paradisiac said:
right, I need something to get this outta my head, its horrible. any ideas?

Got a gym membership? Pick up some cheap gloves and do some major work to a punching bag. I went till my knuckles bled the other day. The cuts hurt a bit but I couldn't give two hoots about the ex getting with someone new now.

grudas · 6 Jul 2012 at 21:25

agnes said:
I have lost all skills! Without sounding like a tool, I never really had issues chatting up girls. But these days, since me ex and my ex ex (first 2 proper relationships) I'm struggling lol.

Any ideas?

lol im the same..

its too soon for me tho.. women seem to get into relationship ASAP which is just odd in my eyes as no way are most of them over the previous one that quick..

paradisiac said:
yeh, I tried to get my head down at work, but its always there just niggling away I hate it soo much, the thought of her and him, like, well, yeh.

just don't think about.. i know my ex is trying to make it my fault etc and making it sound as if its worth having another shot at it.. and it is in my head but i just try to get it out of my head by doing something

and at the moment its even harder! broke my elbow so sitting at home for the past 2 weeks its just getting me down!!! i can go out and i do but still its in my head..

paradisiac · 6 Jul 2012 at 22:47

grudas said:
just don't think about.. i know my ex is trying to make it my fault etc and making it sound as if its worth having another shot at it.. and it is in my head but i just try to get it out of my head by doing something

and at the moment its even harder! broke my elbow so sitting at home for the past 2 weeks its just getting me down!!! i can go out and i do but still its in my head..

I have the kids over the weekend so makes it difficult to do much. I don't have any friends either which don't help lol

grudas · 6 Jul 2012 at 23:00

paradisiac said:
I have the kids over the weekend so makes it difficult to do much. I don't have any friends either which don't help lol

same here man ! i've no idea where all of my friends went! one big mistake people do when they get into relationship is forget everyone else! :/

paradisiac · 6 Jul 2012 at 23:02

grudas said:
same here man ! i've no idea where all of my friends went! one big mistake people do when they get into relationship is forget everyone else! :/

yeh, its odd how women seem to take all your focus until its too late.

MisChief · 6 Jul 2012 at 23:17

grudas said:
same here man ! i've no idea where all of my friends went! one big mistake people do when they get into relationship is forget everyone else! :/

That was one mistake I made. Not going to let that happen again

Raymond Lin · 6 Jul 2012 at 23:21

grudas said:
same here man ! i've no idea where all of my friends went! one big mistake people do when they get into relationship is forget everyone else! :/

Human nature tbh.

paradisiac · 6 Jul 2012 at 23:28

well I asked her outright, she said they were only friends, and not very good ones at that :confused:

I explained I didn't mind if she was and nothing would change with us, but she still refuses to admit it

Captain · 6 Jul 2012 at 23:36

I've started dating again, i feel like ive waited the appropriate amount of time before jumping into a relationship

2nd date was tonight, went wicked

Spent the day together, went ice skating, had a picnic, just getting to know each other

Went for a meal at 8.30 and just got back, shes lovely

MisChief · 6 Jul 2012 at 23:42

paradisiac said:
well I asked her outright, she said they were only friends, and not very good ones at that I explained I didn't mind if she was and nothing would change with us, but she still refuses to admit it

Without reading the last few pages.... So you split with your wife, then realised she was cheating on you, you have two kids together, and now you're trying to find out for sure if she has cheated on you or not?

Don't really know the whole story... but what is the point in dwelling on it when you've split up already? How do you feel about her now? What do you want to happen exactly?

(Sorry for the questioning, just curious

)