Yeah, exactly and all the drama they have with their ex etc. Which 99.9% is all of the time. I haven't got time to deal with that non-sense.
The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
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Yeah, exactly and all the drama they have with their ex etc. Which 99.9% is all of the time. I haven't got time to deal with that non-sense.
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The difference with the ex is it’s unlikely they’ll have regular contact if they’ve not had children.
I’m 55 this year and the last thing I want is a millennial or younger, idea of hell. Some friends a similar age think the opposite so each to their own. I want brains, beauty, aspiration, own wealth and a few other things. Doesn’t grow on trees but it’s out there if you go about it the right way.
No swiping left/right app **** for me.
No swiping left/right app **** for me.
It can't be helped all the time but that's why you make sure you secure a decent relationship into the older years. Being out there in the dating market 50 plus! That's a nightmare! Trying to lock down any woman, older or younger.
I got back into the dating game at 53/54. Can't say it was that bad really, like Housey says there are a lot of good single women out there and I dated an age range between about 30 and 50. Met them "live" or on the likes of tinder, just another tool but would have loved that at 18
There's also a demographic that believe their filters
.
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Well that’s fine, but there is no ‘sure’ when it comes to relationships I’m afraid. I was sure right up until I wasn’t sure.
Then there is observing from afar and doing and only doing can you determine if it’s a nightmare or not. I think it’s 41% who married in 1994 like I did divorced. Just take that in for a moment and ask yourself how many of those people said “this is the one”. I also believe the average age for those divorces was late 40’s so again, not the ideal plan but reality.
I don’t feel it’s a nightmare. I don’t feel I wasted my life getting married, it was a great part of my life that became less great: I’m far from living a nightmare. To quote a line “I pull out of my country house in my supercar asking, where did it all go wrong”. I jest, the far more important and real mindset is “I am happy I woke up this morning and was alive”, all else is a bonus when you nearly died in 2018. Life is about perspective of the individual, you can’t spreadsheet your way to perfection, so stop trying.
With age comes a very different outlook to 20’s, 30’s and 40’s. We had no children through choice then other reasons so that made the divorce part much less complex if not easier. It was painful make no doubts about it.
I’ve found no problem finding attractive women around my age and younger as I’m 54 not 34 to date. I’m no Brad Pitt and never ever lead with my lifestyle. I’ve had 2 relationships since divorce. The first wasn’t going to work as we were both too feisty and alike if on paper perfection, slim, attractive, clever, high powered job, own place and plenty of her own wealth and fun to be around, most of the time. The second, well let’s see but so far so good but I’m not rushing or desperate.
Far from a nightmare but it all comes around to how you go about it and where you look and the mindset. I was an only child so happy in my own company often and I have a great group of close friends. I’m not desperate by any measure and not living a nightmare I promise you. As you age your view of the world WILL change, you think it won’t but it will because it always does.
Ha! Filters tend to be the vehicle of the young and the old chavI got back into the dating game at 53/54. Can't say it was that bad really, like Housey says there are a lot of good single women out there and I dated an age range between about 30 and 50. Met them "live" or on the likes of tinder, just another tool but would have loved that at 18
There's also a demographic that believe their filters
. I avoid both
I did try to secure myself a relationship into the future but life don't always work out like that so some men are still chasing women into there old age. Others just call it a day.
I would have an open mind. A young chav you could educate and help her understand what life is really about... she might be amazed by it all so much you could have a partner for life. You never know. Besides a chav is still a human being.Ha! Filters tend to be the vehicle of the young and the old chav
I avoid both
That's why I am 38 and not married. Coming from my years working in the police force and seeing older people in their late 40's, 50's getting divorced for the 2nd for 3rd time. I am like "WTF! Didnt you learn from your first failed marriage!?!? Why on earth would you go through all of that again!?!?"
If I do get married to my girlfriend, its only to have kids to set the foundation and hold her to a standard. Otherwise I don't see the point of getting married.
Fill your boots to my point, we are all different
Few women will share that mindset the ones that do will seek wealth I suspect. “I’ll put up with that because I’m secure”. Each to their own.
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A guy who I used to work with had at least 4 divorces, didn't marry his last partner though.
Yea that’s a car crash. I’ve no plans and certainly zero need to remarry. Pointless to a non religious individual at my age. If a future partner today/tomorrow wants the big wedding day then she can fund it and I’m fine with it and the stag will be next level immense and likely involve arrest and repatriation if done well.
I was a quick learnerHa! Filters tend to be the vehicle of the young and the old chav
I avoid both
Like you I feel/have no need to remarry and although living with someone else now would be just as happy on my own. It wasn't easy to leave a 27 year marriage but it gradually became a more attractive option than staying where I was. Strangest small thing that finally caused it to go bang, such is life.
Life's too short to take on that sort of project.
We had a boss, she had been married five times......five!!! I couldn't get my head around it. They also didn't get married to her current partner.
I'm sure some people feel they have to get married as a requirement to fit into society or a social circle they desperately want to be apart of and get married just because there friends have got married. Marriage can also be about money, security and other things then when one marriage fails they do it again and again.
To be fair, I was an equal opportunities dater when I got away from the ex. I dated several women with kids and it was very telling.
I learned extremely quickly, that the biggest problem with most single mums is desperation to get someone perhaps anyone locked down. Most seem to engineer scenarios where you meet the kid very quickly which over complicates things. This is likely just a **** test, to see how you cope with it but some kids get a new uncle every few weeks which is disturbingly unfair on them. I actually had one young lad ask me if I was going to be his new Daddy after her baby sitting friend conveniently gate crashed our breakfast plans with said kid on day 2. This was the kid of the same women who very quickly, like within 10 days of us dating started pressing me for a baby. I got out of there, sharpish.
The exception to rule was actually pretty decent, and I never got anywhere near her kid. That wasn't happening unless she was completely sure about me and knew there was a future. Great girl, fantastic between the sheets and made time for me around being a Mum and her small business. There was no drama it just didn't work out.
I did decide though not to date anyone with kids again, but only because with having my two most weekends back then it did make alone time bloody difficult as when they're usually free I usually had the kids. All that said though some single mums are amazing to date and shouldn't be overlooked just because they got cheated on etc.
My missus looked past the fact I had kids and it's worked out brilliantly for us so far. 7 years and counting of being very happy together.
I learned extremely quickly, that the biggest problem with most single mums is desperation to get someone perhaps anyone locked down. Most seem to engineer scenarios where you meet the kid very quickly which over complicates things. This is likely just a **** test, to see how you cope with it but some kids get a new uncle every few weeks which is disturbingly unfair on them. I actually had one young lad ask me if I was going to be his new Daddy after her baby sitting friend conveniently gate crashed our breakfast plans with said kid on day 2. This was the kid of the same women who very quickly, like within 10 days of us dating started pressing me for a baby. I got out of there, sharpish.
The exception to rule was actually pretty decent, and I never got anywhere near her kid. That wasn't happening unless she was completely sure about me and knew there was a future. Great girl, fantastic between the sheets and made time for me around being a Mum and her small business. There was no drama it just didn't work out.
I did decide though not to date anyone with kids again, but only because with having my two most weekends back then it did make alone time bloody difficult as when they're usually free I usually had the kids. All that said though some single mums are amazing to date and shouldn't be overlooked just because they got cheated on etc.
My missus looked past the fact I had kids and it's worked out brilliantly for us so far. 7 years and counting of being very happy together.