Yeah but you’re 6 foot 8, women love tall men and you’d find it easy finding another woman. Spare a thought for me 5 foot 9.5 a short arse not even the minimum 6 foot required standard these days.
The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
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But I'm not 6ft8 when I have to be sat down 98% of the time
I'm 5'5 being unattractive is a state of mind.
Have a word with yourself, 6 foot isn't a requirement, and any woman specifying as such deserves to miss out on what you can offer.
I'm 5ft 5 and never had a confidence problem with ladies that are actually worth talking to.
Stop watching "dating experts" or the dating cliché videos on the internet, skewing your mind.
Backed up by statistics sadly. Women do look for taller men on dating sites.. It will take a me a while to find it but I've listened to a podcast with the CEO of one of the dating sites as the guest... highly interesting
Soldato
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That's not short and it doesn't matter anyway, stop with the defeatist attitude.
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Soldato
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del
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Currently going through a breakdown of my longterm relationship. We was together 12.5yrs got together when I was 19 and broke up a month ago at 32, things had gotten a bit stale and I found out that she'd been having an affair for the past 6 months 
Thankfully no kids involved and not married but a shared mortgage which I'm planning to buy her out of.
Decided to check out Facebook dating today just for the crack to see what it's all about as I've never felt the need to try a dating site in my life. Within a few hours I'd had a some 'Likes' (A few looked nice too) and I chickened out and deactivated my profile before replying, realising that after so many years in a relationship I just don't know how to even flirt or talk to a woman anymore as a single man. Hopefully it'll come with time and maybe it's too soon to be looking for curiosity got the better of me, oh well.
Is this common after being with the same person for so long? I feel a bit of a gimp for deactivating but it just felt so alien to me.
Thankfully no kids involved and not married but a shared mortgage which I'm planning to buy her out of.Decided to check out Facebook dating today just for the crack to see what it's all about as I've never felt the need to try a dating site in my life. Within a few hours I'd had a some 'Likes' (A few looked nice too) and I chickened out and deactivated my profile before replying, realising that after so many years in a relationship I just don't know how to even flirt or talk to a woman anymore as a single man. Hopefully it'll come with time and maybe it's too soon to be looking for curiosity got the better of me, oh well.
Is this common after being with the same person for so long? I feel a bit of a gimp for deactivating but it just felt so alien to me.
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No harm in looking, and no harm in deactivating it either. Probably worth giving yourself some time first to sort things out (get your mortgage and other functional things sorted out of the way) and then work out what you want
Currently going through a breakdown of my longterm relationship. We was together 12.5yrs got together when I was 19 and broke up a month ago at 32, things had gotten a bit stale and I found out that she'd been having an affair for the past 6 months
Decided to check out Facebook dating today just for the crack to see what it's all about as I've never felt the need to try a dating site in my life. Within a few hours I'd had a some 'Likes' (A few looked nice too) and I chickened out and deactivated my profile before replying, realising that after so many years in a relationship I just don't know how to even flirt or talk to a woman anymore as a single man. Hopefully it'll come with time and maybe it's too soon to be looking for curiosity got the better of me, oh well.
Is this common after being with the same person for so long? I feel a bit of a gimp for deactivating but it just felt so alien to me.
I'm sorry to hear that mate, it sounds rough! Just take things one step at a time and give yourself chance to heal.
Currently going through a breakdown of my longterm relationship. We was together 12.5yrs got together when I was 19 and broke up a month ago at 32, things had gotten a bit stale and I found out that she'd been having an affair for the past 6 months
Decided to check out Facebook dating today just for the crack to see what it's all about as I've never felt the need to try a dating site in my life. Within a few hours I'd had a some 'Likes' (A few looked nice too) and I chickened out and deactivated my profile before replying, realising that after so many years in a relationship I just don't know how to even flirt or talk to a woman anymore as a single man. Hopefully it'll come with time and maybe it's too soon to be looking for curiosity got the better of me, oh well.
Is this common after being with the same person for so long? I feel a bit of a gimp for deactivating but it just felt so alien to me.
Cant answer the last question but dam that sucks dude sorry to hear that. I see stories like this around and think jesus maybe its not so bad afterall not being in a long relationship when this rubbish happens, happened to my friend minus the cheating.
However get on the dating train experience comes with keep trying and you adjust as you go along if I look back to when I first started I was awful to now.
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Soldato
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Sorry to hear that, I know its easy to say but I wish people would be honest and say look I've found someone else lets call it a day, at least you know now. Your 32 though so just take it as it comes.Currently going through a breakdown of my longterm relationship. We was together 12.5yrs got together when I was 19 and broke up a month ago at 32, things had gotten a bit stale and I found out that she'd been having an affair for the past 6 months
Decided to check out Facebook dating today just for the crack to see what it's all about as I've never felt the need to try a dating site in my life. Within a few hours I'd had a some 'Likes' (A few looked nice too) and I chickened out and deactivated my profile before replying, realising that after so many years in a relationship I just don't know how to even flirt or talk to a woman anymore as a single man. Hopefully it'll come with time and maybe it's too soon to be looking for curiosity got the better of me, oh well.
Is this common after being with the same person for so long? I feel a bit of a gimp for deactivating but it just felt so alien to me.
Thanks for the replies, a bit too much to reply to but a lot of food for thought!
My main priority is getting my mortgage sorted so that I can get her out of my life properly (She's moved back in with her mother and I'm living in the house), it couldn't have come at a worse time considering the state of the lending market but fingers crossed I can make it work, she's being very amicable about it all and as much as it pains me I'm having to keep her sweet so she doesn't turn it nasty.
I'm really hoping that at 32 with my situation in life (No kids, home owner etc) that moving on should be a breeze but I just don't want it at the moment, I think signing up to the dating site was more that I just wanted the affirmation from matches that I was somewhat desirable to someone out there...I realise that probably sounds mad and selfish but my head is still a mess about what's going on.
@gingergundog That's one of the worst bits about it all, she never said she was unhappy. I thought everything was sound and within in the next 12 months we stood to have a massive financial break as both our cars would be paid off and we had allsorts planned such as travelling, buying a camper or even extending the house. Even today she can't give me a clear answer as to why she didn't speak up so we could sort things before it came to this
My main priority is getting my mortgage sorted so that I can get her out of my life properly (She's moved back in with her mother and I'm living in the house), it couldn't have come at a worse time considering the state of the lending market but fingers crossed I can make it work, she's being very amicable about it all and as much as it pains me I'm having to keep her sweet so she doesn't turn it nasty.
I'm really hoping that at 32 with my situation in life (No kids, home owner etc) that moving on should be a breeze but I just don't want it at the moment, I think signing up to the dating site was more that I just wanted the affirmation from matches that I was somewhat desirable to someone out there...I realise that probably sounds mad and selfish but my head is still a mess about what's going on.
@gingergundog That's one of the worst bits about it all, she never said she was unhappy. I thought everything was sound and within in the next 12 months we stood to have a massive financial break as both our cars would be paid off and we had allsorts planned such as travelling, buying a camper or even extending the house. Even today she can't give me a clear answer as to why she didn't speak up so we could sort things before it came to this
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Soldato
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- 25 Sep 2012
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Kin hell no logic to that. Hard to know what to say, stop thinking about it/her?(easier said than done I've been there), you will think about it for a while, it gets less and less important. Time will pass and it will get easier, maybe you meet someone else, just think that it wasn't meant to be.Thanks for the replies, a bit too much to reply to but a lot of food for thought!
My main priority is getting my mortgage sorted so that I can get her out of my life properly (She's moved back in with her mother and I'm living in the house), it couldn't have come at a worse time considering the state of the lending market but fingers crossed I can make it work, she's being very amicable about it all and as much as it pains me I'm having to keep her sweet so she doesn't turn it nasty.
I'm really hoping that at 32 with my situation in life (No kids, home owner etc) that moving on should be a breeze but I just don't want it at the moment, I think signing up to the dating site was more that I just wanted the affirmation from matches that I was somewhat desirable to someone out there...I realise that probably sounds mad and selfish but my head is still a mess about what's going on.
@gingergundog That's one of the worst bits about it all, she never said she was unhappy. I thought everything was sound and within in the next 12 months we stood to have a massive financial break as both or cars would be paid off and we had allsorts planned such as travelling, buying a camper or even extending the house. Even today she can't give me a clear answer as to why she didn't speak up so we could sort things before it came to this
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@shauncr91 Sounds to me she'd emotionally checked out of the relationship and was too scared to end things until she knew where she stood with the other guy. It's absolute horse **** mate! And, completely unfair to you. Truth is, you never really know someone until you split up with them.
I've seen similar crap happen to so many guys over the years, they always say they'll talk it out if there's a problem but then blind side you when you think everything is ticking a long.
I'm very happy with my current relationship, I've zero reason to suspect the future Mrs Vidar would ever leave me, given everything she says and does. But, I'm aware of what can happen. Seemingly out of nowhere. If it happened to me, devastated as I'd be I'd understand the decision had been made.
Be devastated, be angry, sad etc grieve what you have lost.But, you're right now is the time to get your house in order. If you haven't, get legal advice and make sure you're ass is covered. I know you weren't married but what if you sell up later down the line and she tries for another slice?
Focus on yourself now, catch up with mates. Pick up old hobbies or find new ones. Join a club, even if it's the last thing you want to do. And if you want some validation go get it. Just be honest with them if you do.
You're not alone mate, and things will get better!
I've seen similar crap happen to so many guys over the years, they always say they'll talk it out if there's a problem but then blind side you when you think everything is ticking a long.
I'm very happy with my current relationship, I've zero reason to suspect the future Mrs Vidar would ever leave me, given everything she says and does. But, I'm aware of what can happen. Seemingly out of nowhere. If it happened to me, devastated as I'd be I'd understand the decision had been made.
Be devastated, be angry, sad etc grieve what you have lost.But, you're right now is the time to get your house in order. If you haven't, get legal advice and make sure you're ass is covered. I know you weren't married but what if you sell up later down the line and she tries for another slice?
Focus on yourself now, catch up with mates. Pick up old hobbies or find new ones. Join a club, even if it's the last thing you want to do. And if you want some validation go get it. Just be honest with them if you do.
You're not alone mate, and things will get better!
