What film did you watch last night?
- Thread starter Richeh
- Start date
The opening fight scene in the toilet is epic. The rest is pretty good as well!
Tomb Raider.
What a load of toss. I'd managed to avoid it for 14 years suspecting that it'd be a load of crap but last night I bit the bullet and watched it. The dialogue at times is so out of place it'd be a bit like inserting a few lines of Debby Does Dallas in to a Tom & Jerry cartoon, the references to the game (which I played the hell out of on the PS1) were so forced and clunky they might as well have given them their own introduction sequence and had someone with a megaphone on the side going "FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW, THIS PART WHERE ANGELINA JOLIE HAS TRIANGLE BOOBIES IS A REFERENCE TO THE GAME, BUT YOU WOULDN'T KNOW 'COS YOU WEREN'T THERE MAN". Speaking of Jolie's boobies, they were literally triangular. Like jelly tots. Her knockers must've been serious squished up to get them to perform in such a shape.
Now I don't actively look for cans in films but I can appreciate the finer things in life, and I've never looked twice at Jolie's cans in particular, it's just that they were so badly formed in this film I found myself staring at them in almost every scene out of pure curiosity that this actually managed to make it to screen.
She has her pistols on her thighs as in the game, but these things would probably dwarf Vin Diesel, how she managed to walk around without them ripping her limbs off is beyond me. The fight scenes were odd, as in you couldn't make out what was going on. You'd see a close up of a fist hitting a face, then suddenly someone else would fall to the floor, then Lara would dodge a bullet and someone else would fall to the floor, it just made no sense. They didn't flow at all. Then Jolie would flop these two huge pistols out and start zapping everyone with them. One thing I can say for sure is that if the Hulk ever needs milking, Jolie has the hands and wrists for the job, cos those things probably have more recoil than a Sherman.
Terrible. 2/10.
Also, women don't have triangular boobs ffs.
What a load of toss. I'd managed to avoid it for 14 years suspecting that it'd be a load of crap but last night I bit the bullet and watched it. The dialogue at times is so out of place it'd be a bit like inserting a few lines of Debby Does Dallas in to a Tom & Jerry cartoon, the references to the game (which I played the hell out of on the PS1) were so forced and clunky they might as well have given them their own introduction sequence and had someone with a megaphone on the side going "FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW, THIS PART WHERE ANGELINA JOLIE HAS TRIANGLE BOOBIES IS A REFERENCE TO THE GAME, BUT YOU WOULDN'T KNOW 'COS YOU WEREN'T THERE MAN". Speaking of Jolie's boobies, they were literally triangular. Like jelly tots. Her knockers must've been serious squished up to get them to perform in such a shape.
Now I don't actively look for cans in films but I can appreciate the finer things in life, and I've never looked twice at Jolie's cans in particular, it's just that they were so badly formed in this film I found myself staring at them in almost every scene out of pure curiosity that this actually managed to make it to screen.
She has her pistols on her thighs as in the game, but these things would probably dwarf Vin Diesel, how she managed to walk around without them ripping her limbs off is beyond me. The fight scenes were odd, as in you couldn't make out what was going on. You'd see a close up of a fist hitting a face, then suddenly someone else would fall to the floor, then Lara would dodge a bullet and someone else would fall to the floor, it just made no sense. They didn't flow at all. Then Jolie would flop these two huge pistols out and start zapping everyone with them. One thing I can say for sure is that if the Hulk ever needs milking, Jolie has the hands and wrists for the job, cos those things probably have more recoil than a Sherman.
Terrible. 2/10.
Also, women don't have triangular boobs ffs.
We talking de Niro / Pacino here?
( I just can't reconcile your review with the film
- is there another "Heat" that I've not noticed? )We talking de Niro / Pacino here?
( I just can't reconcile your review with the film
A pity that two blokes with assault rifles took it too seriously XD
We talking de Niro / Pacino here?
( I just can't reconcile your review with the film
Well it's got an 8.3/10 on IMDB so the general consensus agrees with him.
I didn't mean the score (Heat is in my top-5 films, as it happens) - I meant the "very entertaining, didn't take itself seriously" bit.
Possibly, Diddums has solved it. Though that doesn't look like a 8/10 film to me
It's good, I'd say a 6.5, 7 at a push. Nothing spectacular.
A million miles better than that Reese Witherspoon / Sofia Vergara trainsmash though. That was so bad I think a sledge hammer to the face would've been more pleasant.
A million miles better than that Reese Witherspoon / Sofia Vergara trainsmash though. That was so bad I think a sledge hammer to the face would've been more pleasant.
Soldato
- Joined
- 17 Aug 2007
- Posts
- 2,896
- Location
- London, Moscow & Samara
Beasts of no Nation
A harrowing thought provoking film based on the experiences of Agu, a child soldier fighting in the civil war of an unnamed African country.
Idris Elba: Netflix original 8/10
A harrowing thought provoking film based on the experiences of Agu, a child soldier fighting in the civil war of an unnamed African country.
Idris Elba: Netflix original 8/10
Last edited:
Soldato
- Joined
- 27 Oct 2010
- Posts
- 3,053
- Location
- ireland
Heat was a huge let down for me. After all the hype from people saying how good it was I was left underwhelmed by the movie.
I might have to give it a 2nd chance and watch it again though. It's a movie I so badly want to love.
I might have to give it a 2nd chance and watch it again though. It's a movie I so badly want to love.
Just about to watch
The Lazarus Effect (not the paul walker one)
will edit in a score later
utter crud...imagine Lucy but with a horror twist...starts off decently enough descends into crud...cliched crud.. Garbage..even worse than Lucy (and thats saying something as i hated that film also)
2.5/10
The Lazarus Effect (not the paul walker one)
will edit in a score later
utter crud...imagine Lucy but with a horror twist...starts off decently enough descends into crud...cliched crud.. Garbage..even worse than Lucy (and thats saying something as i hated that film also)
2.5/10
Last edited:
Caporegime
- Joined
- 21 Nov 2005
- Posts
- 41,322
- Location
- Cornwall
Jurassic World: 2/5
If I could tame a Velociraptor I'd train it to hunt the director of this film and bite his face off.
If I could tame a Velociraptor I'd train it to hunt the director of this film and bite his face off.
Howl. Sean H. G. Pertwee grits his teeth and stomps moodily through this hamfisted paint-by-numbers drama about a bunch of strangers stuck on a train. Looks like he didn't enjoy it any more than I did.
4/10.
4/10.
Suspended
- Joined
- 22 Apr 2015
- Posts
- 2,634
The Selfish Giant - 8/10
Two excluded school kids get involved in the dodgy world of scrap metal dealing in England, very good drama and a gobsmacking performance from the young Conner Chapman.
Watch it if you like urban gritty dramas!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2304426/
Two excluded school kids get involved in the dodgy world of scrap metal dealing in England, very good drama and a gobsmacking performance from the young Conner Chapman.
Watch it if you like urban gritty dramas!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2304426/
Last edited:
^^ Great movie.
Circle. Some people find themselves mysteriously abducted and placed in a dark room where an energy weapon of unknown technology kills whichever of them receives the most votes in a 2 minute period.
The premise sounds interesting but the execution is poor and the end explains nothing.
3/10.
Circle. Some people find themselves mysteriously abducted and placed in a dark room where an energy weapon of unknown technology kills whichever of them receives the most votes in a 2 minute period.
The premise sounds interesting but the execution is poor and the end explains nothing.
3/10.
The Green Inferno. Eli H. Roth channels his inner Ruggero Deodato in this clumsy remake of Gianfranco Clerici's Cannibal Holocaust.
A group of idealistic young toss monkeys fly to South America with vague plans of rescuing the Ooga Boogas of Bungo Bungo Land from the evil machinations of a landclearing multinational. Will they succeed? Obviously not. Are the Ooga Boogas cannibals? Of course they are.
There's violence aplenty with guts and gore flying across the screen at regular intervals, but we're not shown so much as a single nipple because that would be very wrong.
Peppered with more plot holes than almost any bad movie you can think of, and weighed down with more illogical moments than an episode of The Walking Dead, TGI will waste your time in that spectacularly incompetent way we've come to expect from Mr Roth.
3/10.
A group of idealistic young toss monkeys fly to South America with vague plans of rescuing the Ooga Boogas of Bungo Bungo Land from the evil machinations of a landclearing multinational. Will they succeed? Obviously not. Are the Ooga Boogas cannibals? Of course they are.
There's violence aplenty with guts and gore flying across the screen at regular intervals, but we're not shown so much as a single nipple because that would be very wrong.
Peppered with more plot holes than almost any bad movie you can think of, and weighed down with more illogical moments than an episode of The Walking Dead, TGI will waste your time in that spectacularly incompetent way we've come to expect from Mr Roth.
3/10.
Last edited: