What's your take on bidets/bum sprays?

[RevBillyG]

It's on par with a friend of mine. Totally normal gent until he got married. I was invited for dinner one evening to be greeted by him and his wife washing the potatoes and carrots in anti-bacterial soap.

Is that a euphemism?

 

[Dis86]

Is that a euphemism?

That would have been better!

 

[tenofspades]

been getting a sore bum recently (blame Lidl toilet paper), thinking about acquiring a portable bidet.

 

[Lima]

A portable bidet? Like for taking on train or carrying under your arm to work?

 

[Chris Wilson]

been getting a sore bum recently (blame Lidl toilet paper), thinking about acquiring a portable bidet

Another euphemism? You mean a bucket and sponge?

 

[tenofspades]

A portable bidet? Like for taking on train or carrying under your arm to work?

What an idea that is taking it on the train. I could squirt people with it.

 

[tenofspades]

 

[a1ex2001]

I need to wash my hair every other day or daily when we had the heatwave. As my hair feels grim.

If you stopped washing it every day the oils adjust! Everyone is different but I bet thousands of people suddenly find this winter that 2/3 showers a week is actually plenty!

 

[Chris Wilson]

If I'd seen one of those in someone's bathroom I'd have assumed it was for spraying the potted plants in case of infestations...

Just imagine getting stopped at airport customs and the officer asks its purpose and you have to ask for a pen and paper to explain with any decorum at all. This thread sure is an eye opener to an old fella'

 

[glenimp617]

It's on par with a friend of mine. Totally normal gent until he got married. I was invited for dinner one evening to be greeted by him and his wife washing the potatoes and carrots in anti-bacterial soap.

I can understand the carrots as they are the right size and strength, unlike say cucumbers (too big) or bananas (too soft). Potatoes though

 

[dlockers]

I bought one of these for my post partum wife. It was never used and I tucked it behind the water cylinder for long-term storage. Cue moving out the other week and we were like WTF is this, a plant feeder?

If I'd seen one of those in someone's bathroom I'd have assumed it was for spraying the potted plants in case of infestations...

Just imagine getting stopped at airport customs and the officer asks its purpose and you have to ask for a pen and paper to explain with any decorum at all. This thread sure is an eye opener to an old fella'

Great minds

 

[cheesefest]

How do you do that in work or other public toilet though? There isn’t a water tap for you to wet the paper or a liquid soap dispenser in the cubicle. Do you walk in, go in a cubicle, roll off handfuls of paper, take it to the sink and wet and soap it up, then bring it into the bog with you sitting on your lap while you poo!?

I consider myself a very clean person but reading stuff like this is truly wtf kind of material.

Some places now have toilet cubicles with hand basins in there. No other basins.

 

[cheesefest]

A former colleague said to me once that she only goes for a poo at home. She has even been on holiday without doing one!

Once you had bowel problems, like me (10 bowel polyps removed earlier this year) you have to go when needed

 

[Freefaller]

Just because you have a bidet doesn't mean you are incapable of going to the loo in public toilets. It just makes it more agréable at home.

 

[SexyGreyFox]

Edit - congratulations on your clockwork poos. I seriously wish I could be like that!

I'm also very quick, I've never read or even looked at my phone on the bog because I'm in & out.

 

[adam cool dude]

Finish off with a wet wipe. Just as good.

 

[Dis86]

I can understand the carrots as they are the right size and strength, unlike say cucumbers (too big) or bananas (too soft). Potatoes though

Lol. No no, they were literally doing that to prep them for cooking!

 

[LabR@t]

I can understand the carrots as they are the right size and strength, unlike say cucumbers (too big) or bananas (too soft). Potatoes though

Thai beads?

 

[Malevolence]

Speaking of dropping the kids off at the pool. Went earlier and it was huge, like a couple of Kong's fingers, but dropped out cleanly and only required a cursory wipe. Not often you get pleasantly surprised by a dump, but today was one of those days.

 

[Blackjack Davy]

been getting a sore bum recently (blame Lidl toilet paper), thinking about acquiring a portable bidet.

Surely it'd be more cost effective to purchase better quality toilet paper?

Finish off with a wet wipe. Just as good.

Flush 'em down the toilet and block the sewers eh? Sounds like a plan.