With your sex drive etc be very sure that it' w you want. Its possible your head is telling you 'I'm OK with this' as a way to Cope. Not saying it's the case but it could be.
100pc sort your finances. And self before committing to the big ties in life you are lining up
I agree with this advice here in all honesty.
Given the amount of upset in this thread - I just wanted to add something positive.
Around 4 years ago, I went through a massive deperession phase, along with an eating disorder. I ended up cutting, and going a little bit off the rails, even thought about using a rope. My girlfriend at the time was sucking my emotions dry, moved in with my Mum without telling me becuase she got caught stealing (I didn't find this out until she was there 2 months!) and generally liked the argue and had no feelings towards her at all. \I\t was all very toxic. Wind forward a year, I got a bit of help, felt a bit more human I suppose - I kept myself busy riding my motorcycle and playing (too many) games. Felt kind of happy the beginning of this year, I wanted to start dating but didn't have much luck at all, which kinda knocked me a bit. The prevous place I was working was going downhill and I needed to move to keep my sanity. I moved jobs March this year with the intention of progressing - never really thought about meeting anyone really because I just wanted to work as such.
Anyway, turns out I would meet someone - this someone I didn't really think would exist. In the sense that i'm a little weird, OCD is just the cusp of it. I remember when meeting her, my mum tried to kill herself twice and got sectioned. For some odd reason I felt compelled to tell this new person all about it, we got talking and I told her about all the other things what have happened - She also told me about what she has gone through which I could relate. I stopped talking to her for a week or two, because I was a bit scared to ask her out, in the fear of rejection. In the end, we ended up going to a BBQ together and things kind of just flowed. It was weird because i've never really felt anything towards another Woman before (Sex was just sex etc...) without any sort of emotion. I still find myself caught out as such now, because I get flutters yet an overwhelming sense of calmness when i'm around her. When we do mudane things like shopping, I actually enjoy it. It's a bit like she has unknowningly added colour to my life - all at the same time me not knowing that someoen could do that, yet when holding her I can't describe the feeling. We seem to be able to understand each other on a deep level - finish sentences, and like a lot of the same things. I mean there are differences, but our core values are all the same, she is definately my best friend.
Going forwards to now - We are hitting the 6 month mark, I have now moved in with her (I spent at least 4 days a week with her anyway for 3 months) and yes I have down days due to my OCD, as does she. But she understands as I do her. I can honestly say that I now know that someone can completely change your life for the better, make you the best version of yourself and make you feel completely electrified inside. Little things like holding hands, cuddling, time seems to stop.
I didn't know how love felt, and I truly feel that this is it. Deep down, there are no doubts inside. We are planning a holiday to Disney World next year, I never thought that would be happening to me.
All i'm trying to say is that, whatever dark you're going through. Don't give up, no matter how hard it is, the moment you give up on yourself (Like I almost did) you'll never give yourself a change to fix yourself and then find what you are looking for. I honestly count my blessings when I wake up every morning, because without picking up the pieces of my prevous relationship, depression OCD then I wouldn't be here. There is someone for everyone, and you'll cross paths with them eventually and it'll be unexpected.
The main thing to do is to work on yourself, and things will come. I know it's easy to say, and I was told it many times before. But write the things down what are wrong, writing can help, then write the things you would like to change and work on each of those points through the course of a few weeks - while noting down how you feel. When you look back at those pages in a few months you might not see a massive change, but i'm sure there will be a change in the things that you are talking about.