Can you get sacked for farting

In some cultures farting is regarded as one of the highest compliments a man can make towards a potential partner. In fact the word fart which is technically derived from the German word "ferzan" which originates from the ancient Greek word crepitus. The ancient Greek gods were depicted in many carvings releasing fluffy pillow shaped objects towards the goddess Artemis from beneath their robes, depicted with a slight bulge in the fabric.

So in the future be careful who you fart at, you may be sending out the wrong signal to someone.

"The goddess of breasts, dea Rumilia; the goddess of the marital act, dea Pertunda; the god of the toilet, deus Stercutius; the god Fart, deus Crepitus, were surely not quite objects of reverence. . . It is certain that deus Crepitus, the god Fart, did not give the same sort of idea as deus divum et hominum sator, the creator of gods and men."
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Also commonly known as, The God Fart.
 
Craterloads said:
In some cultures farting is regarded as one of the highest compliments a man can make towards a potential partner. In fact the word fart which is technically derived from the German word "ferzan" which originates from the ancient Greek word crepitus. The ancient Greek gods were depicted in many carvings releasing fluffy pillow shaped objects towards the goddess Artemis.

So in the future be careful who you fart at, you may be sending out the wrong signal to someone.



Also commonly known as, The God Fart.
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It didn't work the other day when this gorgeous blonde came over about 30s after I let one out on my lonesome.. I made a feable attempt to make a point that there was a bad smell.. Surely that would cover me
 
al4x said:
It didn't work the other day when this gorgeous blonde came over about 30s after I let one out on my lonesome.. I made a feable attempt to make a point that there was a bad smell.. Surely that would cover me
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Ill assume that was the problem, it was "lonesome", in no way comparable to a loud and proud "The God Fart". Smell would also be an issue, the godly fart does not make smell, just a masculin derived growl, which would grab the attention of any females in the room.

Obviously doesnt work for homosexuals, for obvious reasons.
 
Don't waste this opportunity. Think of where it could lead to...


Skip to around 2:30 if you want, though I'd recommend watching the whole thing. ;)
 
Craterloads said:
In some cultures farting is regarded as one of the highest compliments a man can make towards a potential partner. In fact the word fart which is technically derived from the German word "ferzan" which originates from the ancient Greek word crepitus. The ancient Greek gods were depicted in many carvings releasing fluffy pillow shaped objects towards the goddess Artemis from beneath their robes, depicted with a slight bulge in the fabric.

So in the future be careful who you fart at, you may be sending out the wrong signal to someone.



Also commonly known as, The God Fart.
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furzen is the word,although the pronunciation would be almost spot on the way you spelled it.
 
yer my boss says I should leave the room and do it, but we are at the back corner and im pretty sure finance wouldn't appreciate a sprinting fart delivered every hour or so..
 
I got kicked out of a meeting for farting, it was a cross team meeting between SysAdmins and NOC. The NOC "engineer" I was sitting next too jumped out of his seat swearing at me.

It was hard to deny :(
 
Of course you can get sacked but you would have to go through the normal verbal warning > written warning route first and visit Occupational Health to see what can be done about your problem.
 
smit101 said:
If it's a protein supplement that's making you fart then it probably contains high levels of lactose, if you buy protein isolate powder, which is usually virtually lactose free, it should help to reduce the frequency and ferocity of your farts. :D Sorry, I can't help grinning at fart! such a great word. Pffffffffffhhhhhhhtttttt!!!!!:p
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This is good advice. Changing to whey isolate protein helped a few people where i work who got either bloat or flatunlance when using normal whey protein. It is slightly more expensive but worth it to them.

Which supplement are you using out of interest?
 
I don't think you can but you should. I had to sit behind someone who would guff all the time. It was disgusting!

Even shaming him didn't work!

BB x
 
Crop-dusting is when you strike up a conversation with a colleague, drop a silent stinker and nonchalantly wander away before the full horror hits them and preferably just after another colleague has arrived to strike up a new conversation.
Use this skill wisely a girl at my old job was a jedi mistress at crop dusting.
 
Learn some control, and sort out your diet, the supplements alone won't be giving you gas.

I would go so far as to say that your diet is probably not up to scratch. Also not being able to hold them in is pretty 5 year old, if you really need to let one go, have some control and head out of the office.

As far as getting the sack goes, yeap you can, you will have to be taken through the process but I would be suprised if your employer didn't have a minimum hygiene standard, and also it can be seen as disruptive and disrespectful behaviour.
 
To be fired or to suffer the inverted fart where to goes pushed back deep into your stomach causing painful bloat and then emerging as a ruinous belch some time later...
 
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